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Is this normal? Ultrasensitive Needy Baby, I know I can't be the only one!

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:54 PM
  • 11 Replies

My baby is almost 6 months old, he was born 3 weeks early, and for a long time, I chalked his behaviors up to being early, but now I think he always would have been this way. He was a colicky newborn, but obviously that has subsided by this age. What I mean is this, he's very very particular! The bottle must be warm but not too warm or he won't drink, his room must be dark, but not pitch black or he will scream and not sleep, if he has the tiniest bit of air in his tummy, he won't eat or sleep, He hates baths and always has, he gets waaayyy overstimulated by them, the echos in the bathroom, the splashing, being rubbed with a washcloth-too much! He is not on a schedule and is not sleeping through the night yet, fairly normal for that age sure. But he cannot stay awake for more than 2 hours ever! This makes it impossible to leave the house, a kid like him won't just sleep anywhere you know! He squirms and jumps and arches constantly when being held, he can only be held over my forearm, so he can look out, he will not tolerate any other position. He won't take a pacifier or a blankie to self soothe. He screams unless stimulated with toys or having me walk around the house with him, he is smiley and loves attention but hates being alone for even a minute! Once he gets upset, he's really upset and hard to console. I had to wear him in a wrap the first 4 months of his life or I wouldn't have survived, but now he is too big! He can't stand cuddling or cosleeping he's too fidgety and wants his space, he loves kisses but he's not a cuddly baby! I have had two other children, and they weren't like this, even my oldest who has ADHD wasn't like this. In the womb, this baby was constantly fidgeting, like he couldn't quite get comfortable, the whole time! Drove me nuts! Am I alone here? Is it because he's born a little early? Or just a super picky baby? I've been wondering if he has some kind of sensory problem for a while, just getting concerned if anyone else has this problem.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
larissalarie
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:02 PM
I don't think it's from being born early, especially only 3 weeks, 3 months ok that might be a factor. My niece was 5 weeks early & my sil had all 3 of her kids 3-5 weeks early due to complications and they are all "normal".

It sounds like your kiddo might have some sensory processing disorder. My middle child was sensitive (or so I thought), but nothing to this degree. I know all kids are different, but this sounds a bit extreme. I hope he outgrows it and is completely fine! Sorry mama, hang in there!
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Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:05 PM
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First, take a DEEP breath!  I'm sure that can all be crazy stressful.

My sister was like that, and they never found a reason for it.  (They said it might be b/c my mom smoked while pregnant.)  You couldn't do ANYTHING with her, w/o her screaming bloody murder.  The only way she would sleep was in somebody's arms.  But she DID calm down before 9 months.  So just do your best and try to stick it through.

It is perfectly OK to set the baby down and gather your wits for round 2, 3, 4, etc.  It is probably better for the baby if you try to keep coming with a calm, relaxed approach.  Maybe have a go-to Mommy Soother, like your favorite relaxing song programmed into the comp, or a coffee brewer that makes 1 fresh cup at a time, or a photo that always makes you smile down where you can reach and hold it.

I don't know much about special needs babies, and I'm sorry there.  I wouldn't jump to any conclusions yet, though.  Some babies just have more personality right out of the gate than others, ya know?  Have you talked to his Ped about any of this?  Were there any difficult babies in any of your relative's families?  Would your insurance cover meeting with anybody who specializes in baby behaviors at home?  (IE: A visiting nurse who can observe the baby at home, give suggestions, and then come back to see how it worked out?)

I would also keep a journal of his behaviors, and likes/dislikes.  IT could help if there is a diagnosis in the future.  Or, it could just be a laugh when he gets older and tries to "play it cool."  If nothing else, it gives you a place to jot things down so you can help any future baby sitters/visiting relatives understand there are some preferences when dealing with him.

scoleman828
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:48 PM
That describes my 3mo daughter exactly! You're not alone. :) we have been to several doctors to figure put if there is a legit reason... Nothing yet. Good luck!
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abra
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:49 PM
my middle one was like that, but I started pushing her boundries gradually to exercise her out of the habit of being too particular.
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mommyhonu
by Mary on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:52 PM

 hmmmm, not sure what to tell you ... all babies are different and some want more or need a lil more from mom then another. my youngest is definately more needy then his older brothers were. good luck.

grapejelly
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 4:41 PM

HUGS!

MommyIsMyName90
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 4:45 PM
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My DS is like this. He will not sit still...ever. He will NOT sleep anywhere but his carseat, crib or swing (he's too big for the swing now) it has to be dark and he has to have white noise on for him to sleep in his crib. He will not sleep in anyone's arms...he likes his space too. At 6 months he was NOT cuddly at all. (like yours) but now at 11 months he will get slightly snuggly when he's sleepy. He also never sits still. Hes always moving--kicking his legs constantly. He gets mad at the drop of a hat. He wants things when he wants them and if he doesn't get it NOW he's going to screammm. He panics if left alone for two seconds. At church instead of him playing in the nursery he has to be walked around the whole time so he can look at everything. He gets really mad if they shut the nursery door.

((hugs)) I know it can be frustrating! I haven't seeked an answer from a doctor because I don't think anything is wrong with him. He just likes things his way and he is a firecracker! Like a pp said, I try to push his boundaries to get him used to new things. He is slowly getting better month by month.
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Hildegarde
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 4:55 PM
He is about a month behind on developmental milestones. That seems on track for his corrected age. I just can't tell you how jittery he is, how touchy. He never learned how to breastfeed so i pump. If his diaper is wet at all, he's crying. He does have some kidney problems but is otherwise considered healthy by pediatrician, well he's a PA, nice guy, not sure how knowledgable-military healthcare so we are kinda stuck. Not sure what to do, I guess time will tell.
Aamy
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 4:57 PM
Start with putting him on a schedule..... Also put bath time in the morning.
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Hildegarde
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 5:04 PM
Quoting MommyIsMyName90:

My DS is like this. He will not sit still...ever. He will NOT sleep anywhere but his carseat, crib or swing (he's too big for the swing now) it has to be dark and he has to have white noise on for him to sleep in his crib. He will not sleep in anyone's arms...he likes his space too. At 6 months he was NOT cuddly at all. (like yours) but now at 11 months he will get slightly snuggly when he's sleepy. He also never sits still. Hes always moving--kicking his legs constantly. He gets mad at the drop of a hat. He wants things when he wants them and if he doesn't get it NOW he's going to screammm. He panics if left alone for two seconds. At church instead of him playing in the nursery he has to be walked around the whole time so he can look at everything. He gets really mad if they shut the nursery door.

((hugs)) I know it can be frustrating! I haven't seeked an answer from a doctor because I don't think anything is wrong with him. He just likes things his way and he is a firecracker! Like a pp said, I try to push his boundaries to get him used to new things. He is slowly getting better month by month.



This exactly! I forgot about the white noise! We have to run a fan on high in the room, it's DECEMBER!
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