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"If I Die" Letters to Children

Posted by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 10:36 AM
  • 319 Replies
17 moms liked this

*Update*: Thanks to many of your wonderful suggestions, I will be going with a journalling idea.  I will keep a journal for each child, writing down my thoughs, wishes, and messages for them as well as milestones.  I'll share the journals with them when the time is right or they can be given to them in the unfortunate incidence of my death.  I'll be starting the journals on the upcoming New Moon.

Have you/Would you write them?

      In conjunction with updating my Will, Powers of Attorney, and Healthcare Proxies, I have started writing letters to be given to my children if I die.  In theory, I'd like to write a few letters for major occassions (certain birthdays, weddings, etc.), but for now I'm just starting with a general letter to each.

      What would you say in this kind of letter?  I'm trying to strike a balance between the really heartfelt "I'm always with you, be a good person" stuff and a little bit of humor (like Tina Fey's Mother's Prayer).

      What do you think?  What would you write?  What occassions would you write letters for?  I'm also thinking about doing letters for my parents, brother, and best friends, though in all likelihood I'll never get around to it.

I'm a tree-hugging, breastfeeding, non-circing, vaxing, co-sleeping/bed-sharing, ethical eating, semi-vegetarian, home-birthing, Pagan, Unitarian Universalist, pro-choice, cloth diapering, Scorpio, feminist, half-Canadian, animal activist mommy to one clever little girl (8), the cutest baby boy ever born, two mischevious rescue mutts (fixed), and an attention starved rescue kitty (also fixed).  Married to my own personal MacGyver.


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by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 10:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LadyLotus3
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:21 AM
16 moms liked this

 We've discussed doing it because my husband is terminally ill so the subject of him writing letters and doing video clips for each boy has been discussed.

Id totally do them and I think all Id write is that I love them, some special memory or two I have of just them and I, and that I want them to grow up to be good and kind and to strive for that goal at all times. Then Id maybe give them a sentence or two of advice about schooling and getting married and having kids.

Id not do for specific events tho just one nice letter. I dont think they have to be long and complicated honestly.

woodmamma
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:22 AM
2 moms liked this

Ive thought about this alot. I would write one just to let my children know how much they mean to me and how proud of them I am/was of them. I think its a great idea

Mommy4two
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't find this morbid at all... I want to do something like this for my children. NO ONE is given tomorrow so why not, bc otherwise yu may wish it had been done but by then it'll be to late...

i.heart.nerds
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:24 AM
5 moms liked this
That is a good idea.
Some occasions:
Thirteenth birthday (becoming a teen)
Sixteenth birthday
Prom
Engagement
21st birthday
Graduation from high school and college
Wedding
Birth of first child.
ele2837
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:26 AM
17 moms liked this
I wrote my.daughter letters throughout my pregnancy and one just after she is born. I'm going to continue them and write one for each birthday. I'm going to give them to here when she is an adult. If something were to happen to me before then my husband knows to give them to her. They are just my way of preserving those memories and sharing with her how I felt and to Redmond her that I love her.
Mojitomommy
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:27 AM
I love this idea
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isell_avon
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:27 AM


Quoting ele2837:

I wrote my.daughter letters throughout my pregnancy and one just after she is born. I'm going to continue them and write one for each birthday. I'm going to give them to here when she is an adult. If something were to happen to me before then my husband knows to give them to her. They are just my way of preserving those memories and sharing with her how I felt and to Redmond her that I love her.

I kind of did the same thing. For both my pregnancies I kept a Journal, that I plan on giving to them when they are old enough to understand it. 

BekaBug
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:31 AM

i would do them. but i havent. im young and even though i know i could go at any time its not some thing im really "planning" for. we have life insurance, etc but thats as far as we've taken it.

flowerfunleah
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:33 AM
5 moms liked this

A good idea I heard about is journaling letters to your children, kind of a special occasion/whenever you have a thought thing.

You buy a journal (a special one, I chose one with a cedar wood cover and carved owl on the front) and write them a letter in it every so often like for a birthday (I wrote one on DD's first birthday), when they take their first steps, first words, when they're sleeping, so forth and so on.

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this

 I write my kid's letters all the time. I guess they could be used as if I die letters.

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