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I will NEVER have the kind of relationship w/ my daughter as I do with my mom...

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I hate to say this and it hurts my heart but I need to let it out. Once again, my mother has let me down. Once I started to get older and I realized how cool my parents really were, I wanted to bond with my mother. I was maturing and wanted to share things with my mom and have a mother/daughter friendship. I would invite her to come to lunch with me or hang out and go shopping for the day. Or just to come visit me when I had my own place. Every single time she had an excuse not to come and they were lame excuses at that. My husband and I have not had an easy marriage by any means. It has been very difficult and we have had more downs than ups. Of course, I turn to the one person who should feel the pain in my heart and hold me close and give me comforting advice. She's not there for me. She would rather stay out of it. I asked her to come stay with our daughter over night so dh and I could attend a 2 day marriage seminar. She agreed but all she could do was make negative comments as she has always done in the past. Anything I have always shared with her she has always found negativity in it. Even if it has to do with me wanting to do something positive for my future. She just can't ever be happy because I am happy. Anyways, I called my dad today (we have always had a connection) to talk to him about something and he tells me that my mom won't be coming down this weekend to stay with dd. I'm so hurt and angry. Once again she has failed me. I think she is scared to stay at our house by herself (my dad has to work) overnight with dd because we live in a big city and she has always been a small town girl. She freaks because of what she sees on the news. I also have a sister who is 12 years younger than I am and she has a dd who is 4 months younger than my dd. They live in the same town. You better believe my mom takes care of that baby every single day while my sister goes to work and then studies. My sister doesnt even deserve the title of "mother". She doesnt do anything for her kid. She doesnt feed her. She doesnt bathe her. She doesnt brush her teeth. She doesnt even get her ready to go in the mornings before she drops her off at my mom's house. Her man (who is not the baby's dad) takes care of the baby anytime my mom doesn't have her. Her man cooks and cleans for my sister (which is fine by all means). It just irritates me that my mom is so quick to take care of and help my sister and then turns around and complains to me about it. I have told my mother straight up to stop complaining about it because she chooses to do it.  Because of this I have told my mother "I will NEVER have the kind of relationship with my daughter as I do with you. You have showed me everything NOT to do as a mother." Sorry so long...but thanks for reading.

                   
Daisypath - (hmFj)    

by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 3:09 AM
Replies (11-12):
angela.bouchard
by Angela on Apr. 9, 2012 at 3:27 PM

Sorry hun :(

Quoting alandou:

unfortunatly there is no way we can go. we have no one to watch annabelle.

Quoting angela.bouchard:

Hugs!!! I hope you can figure something out and still go to the seminar.

 


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jen6807
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:41 AM
Sounds identical to my mom! I'm sorry this happened I know how badly it sucks to feel like you have no one and no help.
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