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Babies Babies

Dangers of crying it out

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Don't do it.

http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

http://mo.imperfectparent.com/topics/2011/12/16/dangers-of-crying-it-out-lifetime-of-harm/


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by on Apr. 11, 2012 at 10:13 PM
Replies (511-520):
neverbeamom
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:48 AM

There's a difference between soothing an infant, and coddling an almost-toddler.  Children that are 18 months plus, I feel, are more able to soothe themselves and KNOW that mom/dad isn't abandoning them by letting them cry it out.  They are no longer babies, and if they keep getting the attention by crying every time they're in bed, it's going to continue. 

Stumbleine_5
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:59 AM
I could never, would never, allow my newborn to CIO (in its true definition). If he is crying, he's crying for a reason.
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julie515
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:08 AM
I did it with my son, but ended up messing it up. We'll see with my daughter when she sleeps through the night.
Blue_Spiral
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:05 AM


Uh, yeah. You just totally ignored what I said in favor of your own opinion.

There is a difference between coddling infants, and coddling 10 year old children.

There is a difference between safe and irresponsible cosleeping.

I addressed both of these points already.

Quoting Chelsey191:

Both can be dangerous. Both have been fatal. If you are looking to educate someone you should give them all of the info, not just the stuff that supports your view point. The best way to manage a childs sleep habits is completely dependant upon the indvidual situation. There are a lot of people who cant or shouldnt cosleep. People who are deep sleepers, they or their kids move around too much etc. All putting something like this out there does is try to convince people to do it without informing them how to do it safely and that it may not be the best option for them in their situation. This is something where what the studies say should not make your decision for you, just because its good for others does not mean its good for you. People need to be educated on both sides, for the kids sake.

As for coddling, look at almost every 40 yo who still lives with his mom. Do you think she knew when to stop coddling her child and let him grow up and take responsibility for himself? Cant tell you how many men are out there looking for a girl to mother him as opposed to being his equal partner in life. And I know its not just me because sitting on this website for one day you see plenty of posts about it. There is a reason why many kids dont play well with others, their parents coddled them so much heaven forbid they discipline them, teach them to play nice. Again if you need proof just hang out on here for a day. This is why educating people on it is so important. So you know the best ways to love and support your children with out hindering their development either and its not the same for every child. They are all unique individuals. Giving children love and attention is important, but so is knowing how and when to do it. If you give them attention everytime they have a tantrum or break the rules all they will learn is that to get your attention they need to misbehave. Your nightmare? Go ahead but if they go to daycare or preschool or normal school they are others problem and it reflects poorly on you and you will have to explain to your child why no one likes him and no one invites him to do things etc. Is that what you want for your child?

Quoting Blue_Spiral:


Quoting Chelsey191:

What about posting the dangers of cosleeping and coddling your children? Their are plenty of studies showing how either can be damaging to a child. I think that as a mother its up to me to decide what will work best for each individual child and find a happy spot in the middle that works. These days it doesnt matter what you do or dont do almost everything has some sort of damaging effect on our kids.

I'm sure this has been addressed, but there are no studies showing that detachment parenting is better.

Cosleeping is a unique situation, but the studies still show that separate sleeping is more dangerous, than being near your baby. In countries where everyone cosleeps SIDS is almost unheard of. Cosleeping would prevent many many more deaths than it causes. It's a fact.

There is no study showing that love and attention will harm a child. Not one. Studies that have been done show the exact opposite, especially for infants. Infants are designed to be "coddled." How much have you even read about this? 



Blue_Spiral
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:07 AM


Quoting pittawadda:

Quoting Blue_Spiral:




Also in co sleeping situations that ate dangerous, it has been proven that it is formula fed babies. Not bc of formula, but bc the position they are in. Parents put then higher. Breast fed babies are positioned near the chest and it is comfort for them. So even ff or bf positioned the same is fine.
Also alchol is invololed a lot. Saw a whole special on tv.

Yes. There are a very large number of factors when it comes to cosleeping safely.

Mostly moms who are as natural, healthy and in tune with their babies as possible have the lowest risk.

BriShayna
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 6:27 AM
I don't think that is CIO. I do not agree with CIO but I do give my one year old daughter 5 mins to see of she settles down. However it depends on her cry. Sometimes I know by a certain cry what's going on. When it's just a winey mommy waited to long to put me to bed cry she will stop in 2 mins!

Quoting Firenygirl180:

I have done cio on occasion.  Ds would wake up at night and refuse to go back to sleep when every time you pick him up he immediately falls back asleep.  And a few times I have been in the bathroom and he was refusing his nap and he would cry himself to sleep.  I don't rely on it or do it often, but i can't always drop everything to hold him.

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BriShayna
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 6:28 AM
Newborns should never CIO, they have a want or need even of its just your warm skin. Poor babies.
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evamarie12984
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 7:29 AM
1 mom liked this

 I used this method with my twins at around 5 months. They began sleeping through the night within a week. They are now 20 months old, happy, healthy and the best kids in the world!

Davesmom
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 7:33 AM

I let my kids cry it out too if I have exasperated everything I can think of to calm them down. I would not let them cry until the point they can't breathe or are throwing up. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as they aren't crying  for a very long time. 

EpicMom1981
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 7:53 AM
2 moms liked this

This is unbelievably stupid. I've had it up to here (a high place) with bonehead narrow-world-view parents who think that whatever conclusions they've come to with their own family/children can be applied to other children/families to the extent that other options are wrong or--if you really want to be mean--dangerous. 

When it comes to basic parts of life, like sleeping and feeding, I am inclined to give other moms the benefit of the doubt and assume that we all love our children and want to do what's best for them and are tuned in enough to our kids to know what is working, what is not working, what is damaging our relationship with them, what is getting them enough sleep/food, and what processes are generally resulting in the happiest, healthiest most well-adjusted children.  For our children. Kids are born with their own weird little personality quirks. Some kids like to cuddle, some kids won't sleep unless you go away, some kids are really freakin stubborn. They all need their own customized care to be the best little kids they can be and I'm certain that for some kids that means being cuddled to sleep and for other kids that means being taught to self-soothe from an early age. And that decision should be left up to their loving caring mother who desperately needs to get her entire family enough sleep to make it through the next day. 


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