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Babies Babies

Dangers of crying it out

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Don't do it.

http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

http://mo.imperfectparent.com/topics/2011/12/16/dangers-of-crying-it-out-lifetime-of-harm/


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 11, 2012 at 10:13 PM
Replies (51-60):
militarywife09
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:38 AM
4 moms liked this
Cosleeping does not feel right to me. It does YOU. So does that mean I have to do it? Are you the end all be all decision maker for other people's kids? Yeah didn't think so. To each their own.


Quoting GentleGoddess:

LMAO. Yes it is dangerous for children to feel safe. How dare we want our children to feel good about them selves. To have trust in us, in the world. To wake up in comfort between mama and dada. Coddling children is dangerous? How so? Please explain. How is following human nature, doing what feels best wrong? Carrying our young is bad because ...? I worry for our future when I hear bull crap like that.




Quoting Chelsey191:

What about posting the dangers of cosleeping and coddling your children? Their are plenty of studies showing how either can be damaging to a child. I think that as a mother its up to me to decide what will work best for each individual child and find a happy spot in the middle that works. These days it doesnt matter what you do or dont do almost everything has some sort of damaging effect on our kids.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aimesnyc
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:40 AM
12 moms liked this

We obviously do see things differently.  It also a very hurtful thing to say to someone - that you feel sorry for their child.  How would you feel if someone said that to you, just because they don't agree with how you raise your child?  She's obviously not an abusive mother.  There is no reason to say such a hurtful thing to another mom.

Quoting GentleGoddess:

All in the eyes of the beholder.

We perceive things differently.



Quoting aimesnyc:

Wait...you're sorry that her son is obviously happy, independent, feels loved and is well-adjusted?  I'm confused...


Quoting GentleGoddess:

I am sorry you feel that way. I am sorry for your son.





Quoting Chelsey191:

Well I prefer my kids to wake up in the morning. As opposed to falling out of bed and hurting themselves or having their parent roll on top of them or getting lost and smothered in the blankets. Thats just me. As for coddling my child I refuse to smother him like that. He doesnt NEED to be coddled. He is perfectly happy, independant, and he feels safe. I can compare him to a child he goes to daycare with whose parents do coddle him and I can tell you that kid does nothing but scream. He screams because at home he always gets his way, he screams when his mother drops him off because she has never taught him that he will be ok if he is not permanently attached to her. Then their is my kid, he knows what no means, he does not scream when I drop him off because he knows he is fine with out me for a couple hours and because he knows I will always come back to get him. So you can think what you want I really dont care. My son is awesome, he is well behaved and well adjusted, we do not cosleep unless he is sick and we do not cio either. Its an in between and for me and my child it worked perfectly.



Quoting GentleGoddess:

LMAO. Yes it is dangerous for children to feel safe. How dare we want our children to feel good about them selves. To have trust in us, in the world. To wake up in comfort between mama and dada. Coddling children is dangerous? How so? Please explain. How is following human nature, doing what feels best wrong? Carrying our young is bad because ...? I worry for our future when I hear bull crap like that.




Quoting Chelsey191:



What about posting the dangers of cosleeping and coddling your children? Their are plenty of studies showing how either can be damaging to a child. I think that as a mother its up to me to decide what will work best for each individual child and find a happy spot in the middle that works. These days it doesnt matter what you do or dont do almost everything has some sort of damaging effect on our kids.










Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.  ~Pearl S. Buck

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others.  ~Moliere

Chelsey191
by Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:41 AM
4 moms liked this

You are sorry my son is happy and well adjusted? Save your pity the only people that need it are your kids since you obviously think having happy and well adjusted kids is a bad thing.

Quoting GentleGoddess:

I am sorry you feel that way. I am sorry for your son.


Quoting Chelsey191:

Well I prefer my kids to wake up in the morning. As opposed to falling out of bed and hurting themselves or having their parent roll on top of them or getting lost and smothered in the blankets. Thats just me. As for coddling my child I refuse to smother him like that. He doesnt NEED to be coddled. He is perfectly happy, independant, and he feels safe. I can compare him to a child he goes to daycare with whose parents do coddle him and I can tell you that kid does nothing but scream. He screams because at home he always gets his way, he screams when his mother drops him off because she has never taught him that he will be ok if he is not permanently attached to her. Then their is my kid, he knows what no means, he does not scream when I drop him off because he knows he is fine with out me for a couple hours and because he knows I will always come back to get him. So you can think what you want I really dont care. My son is awesome, he is well behaved and well adjusted, we do not cosleep unless he is sick and we do not cio either. Its an in between and for me and my child it worked perfectly.


Quoting GentleGoddess:

LMAO. Yes it is dangerous for children to feel safe. How dare we want our children to feel good about them selves. To have trust in us, in the world. To wake up in comfort between mama and dada. Coddling children is dangerous? How so? Please explain. How is following human nature, doing what feels best wrong? Carrying our young is bad because ...? I worry for our future when I hear bull crap like that.



Quoting Chelsey191:


What about posting the dangers of cosleeping and coddling your children? Their are plenty of studies showing how either can be damaging to a child. I think that as a mother its up to me to decide what will work best for each individual child and find a happy spot in the middle that works. These days it doesnt matter what you do or dont do almost everything has some sort of damaging effect on our kids.



 



MollyJmommy
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this
I never let my dd cio in my opinion if my mom or sister were sobbing in a dark room i'd go in and try and make them feel better. Until a child can talk they can't tell you whats wrong so when they cry they need their mom to try and fix whatever is wrong.
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BeccaBabyy
by Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:46 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't agree to it.. I've watched part of Zeitgeist and there was a scienctist who said that letting your child cry it out affects their implicit memory.. Even children who are born premature & they don't let parents touch them & they keep them in some box on wires..While, even touching them and stroking them develops brain activity.. Anywho off topic.. It does effect them in their memory in the long run..So.. I wouldn't do it..And not just because of that..But because it's your baby! And in the end, the hard time will be over..Like either in 5 hours or less..And your back to those memories of good times again! So remember when your child is crying to comfort them..And it will gain more trust I believe to =) . 

Lucky13pope
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:46 AM

 

Quoting GentleGoddess:

When your sad, crying, does your husband ignore you? Do you self soothe? Do you turn to your mom, your sisters, your friends? Do you give up let it go? Just curious.... Do your babies not deserve the same care? The same treatment? It is ok to be sad and want comforting.


Quoting proudmommy690:

i let my kids...they're fine.
i agree with you GentleGoddess, I mean of course I'm old enough to soothe myself, but not everytime I'm upset. I let him cry sometimes by himself, but i feel awful afterwards. and ill lay with him to soothe him. but if he is crying in his pack n play and im right there in the room. i let him cry because i know im right there. i make sure he is fed, clean diaper, check his teeth and put his gel on, i check everything to make sure he just isnt whining.

 

aidenmommy2011
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:47 AM

 I dont CIO, but I hvae had to kinda let him cry when I am driving and can't get to him, but just till I can stop. I try to prevent him from starting to cry though by giving him toys and talking to him while I drive.

ms.sophsmom
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:47 AM
3 moms liked this
Aww :( for me.. it was being single mom. If I knew she was fed, changed and not in pain.. I needed a breather sometimes.

Quoting pochaccotx:

 if i didn't with ds he would never fall asleep till about midnight or 1, he would wake up 5-6 times a night and would never nap. He also only cries for maybe a minute or 2 no longer.


Quoting ms.sophsmom:

Right? Lol nothing happens if I cry. I wish someone wld scoop me up n rock me haha.. I do fuss it out sometimes. DD is almost three though. So it's a lot easier to know why she's realty upset.
Quoting pochaccotx:


 Done it with my dd and she is fine and now with ds.. And to answer the question when I do cry which is rarely yes I soothe myself I don't turn to anyone for comfort.



Quoting GentleGoddess:

When your sad, crying, does your husband ignore you? Do you self soothe? Do you turn to your mom, your sisters, your friends? Do you give up let it go? Just curious.... Do your babies not deserve the same care? The same treatment? It is ok to be sad and want comforting.




Quoting proudmommy690:

i let my kids...they're fine.



 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
andiecheyenne
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Isn't CIO delayed response? I can't look at what OP posted because I'm on mobile.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aimesnyc
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:55 AM

Not specified.  No one talks about the difference between letting your baby CIO until they fall asleep or Ferbering, which is letting them cry at intervals, where you go in and comfort them. 

Quoting andiecheyenne:

Isn't CIO delayed response? I can't look at what OP posted because I'm on mobile.


Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.  ~Pearl S. Buck

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others.  ~Moliere

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