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Dangers of crying it out

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Don't do it.

http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

http://mo.imperfectparent.com/topics/2011/12/16/dangers-of-crying-it-out-lifetime-of-harm/


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by on Apr. 11, 2012 at 10:13 PM
Replies (661-670):
EpicMom1981
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:53 PM

I'm sure I shouldnt be...but LOL at this. 
When we were wearing the kids... we'd joke that it was going to get weird when they were teenagers :-P  

Quoting eztwins:


However I hope that you tore a family apart for a real case of parent neglect and not just because the mom didn't have her two boys physically chained to her and they were drinking from a bottle instead of her breast.


mimi1207
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 1:15 PM

I completely agree!!! If you dont want to take care of your babies why have them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quoting novachick:

Even if it's not dangerous, which I do believe the studies saying it is, I still wouldn't do it. There is NO reason to leave a baby to cry alone. What because I, an adult and mother, am tired or frustrated or whatever and don't feel like taking care of my baby I let them cry? I don't think so. I really can't think of any reason to let a baby cry on its own to learn or teach it anything. Crying ='s communication, their only form of communication. I will not ignore my baby's needs even if it's only their need for attention. It's selfish and that's not what being a parent is about.


Mommy2be-Jan11
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 1:44 PM
First let me say that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this. Okay now my daughter is 15 weeks old today and for about 2 weeks now I have been letting her cry herself to sleep.(keep in mind I stay in her room with her and stroke her forehead and tell her everything is alright.) within 10-15 minutes she ends up falling asleep. I feel like my method isnt harming my daughter at all.
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dietsunkist
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 1:46 PM

I don't practice CIO. I don't agree with it, and I don't care if other people practice it, but I do get annoyed when people try to force me to do it to. I practice attachment parenting and it works perfectly for us & our lifestyle.

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 2:41 PM
This is neglect. Even CIO advocates say you should never let a baby under 6 -9 months CIO.

Quoting Mommy2be-Jan11:

First let me say that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this. Okay now my daughter is 15 weeks old today and for about 2 weeks now I have been letting her cry herself to sleep.(keep in mind I stay in her room with her and stroke her forehead and tell her everything is alright.) within 10-15 minutes she ends up falling asleep. I feel like my method isnt harming my daughter at all.
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EpicMom1981
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Using purple text on cafemom posts is about as close to negligent parenting as staying with your baby and stroking her head as she goes to sleep. 

I'm bored. Lets argue about what age to start solid foods now.  

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 3:02 PM
7- 10 months :)

No cereals or purees.

CIO is not being done properly if its being used on a 14 week old. If you're going to ignore your infants cries, at least do it humanely.


Quoting EpicMom1981:

Using purple text on cafemom posts is about as close to negligent parenting as staying with your baby and stroking her head as she goes to sleep. 

I'm bored. Lets argue about what age to start solid foods now.  

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taragray24
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 3:19 PM

i think crying it out is ok...if not there gonna not gonna learn and parents will become exasausted...but yes it depends on there age and the amount of time...

Mommy2be-Jan11
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 3:23 PM
Like I said everyone is entitled to their own opinions. In your opinion that's what you believe. However with me my daughter calms down because she sees my face right before she falls asleep. I'm in the room with her so it's actually not neglect. (I rub her forehead and sooth her.) your crazy if you think that is neglect.

Quoting Randi02:

This is neglect. Even CIO advocates say you should never let a baby under 6 -9 months CIO.



Quoting Mommy2be-Jan11:

First let me say that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this. Okay now my daughter is 15 weeks old today and for about 2 weeks now I have been letting her cry herself to sleep.(keep in mind I stay in her room with her and stroke her forehead and tell her everything is alright.) within 10-15 minutes she ends up falling asleep. I feel like my method isnt harming my daughter at all.
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blapier
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 3:26 PM

I'd be friends with her. Oh and I'm a bad mom because I didn't breastfeed? Just because someone doesn't have the same beliefs as you doesn't mean you're a better parent. We all have different ways of parenting...doesn't mean we're "lacking" any maternal instinct. It's just your opinion versus mine.

Quoting Randi02:

Honestly, I wouldn't be friends with someone who parented like that. My kids aren't in public school, and the one they do go to is very natural minded. I have said something to people in a public setting, and I have also called the police.

Two little boys were taken away from their 'parents' because I called the police on them in a video store a few years ago. I have no problem speaking my mind.

I also find it scary that so many mothers lack these natural instincts - such as keeping their babies close, and breastfeeding. Those should be our most basic maternal instincts...

Quoting eztwins:

What  I think is interesting is the self righteousness that come out in these types of debates.  I often wonder is it because we are on the computer and not in front of the person.  If you were sitting at a play group would you actually come out and say "your an idiot" or "you are so lazy".  My instinct is no.  But everyone can hide behind their computer and be as nasty and fresh as they want.  It also has a stink of insecurity to me when someone is that certain that their way is absolutely the only way.  I don't pretend to know everything or pretend to be perfect but I go with my gut.  I realize raising children is a bit of a crap shoot.  You can follow every rule or technique from the latest research and bad things still happen.  Wonderful parents every day find out their kids have life threatening illnesses or ADHD or Autism or anything.  Just like pregnancy you try to be in control of whats happening and control the results but miscarriages happen all the time, genetic malformation, etc and there is nothing that could have been done.  Raising children is similiar.  you can do all you can but we can't predict the future or control everything.  I have seen children from the best families go totally off the rails and I have seen children from the most horrific circumstances achieve greatness. 

And quite frankly its just small to insult someones beliefs.  I personally don't agree with attachment parenting I feel there are a lot of problems that can arise from it.  And that is the first time in this whole debate that I have stated my feelings on the opposite side of the coin.  Why because I don't feel the need to attack your choices.  I am confident enough in my choices to know that what I do is best for me and my kids.  My choices are what I BELIEVE, just like you believe your choices, are what will create the independant, loving, kind, successful child and future adult we are all striving for.  The truth is your choices don't impact me or mine.  You can carry your child until they are 40 for all I care.  You can stand on your head for 6 hours if it keeps your baby entertained and they never cry.  It matters none to me.  Its your life your house.  And I guess if you are concerned b/c eventually your child will have to be around children raised like mine tell your child that they cannot be friends or associate with the little boy and girl who politely say thank you, sit still and don't disrupt their teacher, Get A's, are the first to volunteer to assist the handicapped child in their class and defend the handicapped child when others are picking on him.  By all means keep your child away from mine b/c my kids CIO (5 minute intervals), were not breastfed, were not worn, never slept in their parents bed, never ate organic, have sugar, have been to McD's a couple of times and are allowed to walk to the bus stop on their own.  They also are allowed to play in front of our house without constant parental supervision.  Pretty much look at how children were raised about 30 years  ago and thats my kids.  And by your standards they should be in the corner shaking with anxiety, drooling on themselves from all the brain damage my choices have inflicted on them through their 8 short years.



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