ok. first, look up your facts and make sure that story about a kid dying from CIO wasn't an individual event, and make sure it didn't come from a third world country. Often that's where they get the stats for their 'proof' that it's dangerous, but CIO in an 3rd world orphanage and the way CIO is practiced correctly is totally different things.

Second, CIO, correct CIO, doesn't leave the baby to cry and cry. There are specific guidelines. When people get in trouble is when they assume, and do it without using their common sense. In Baby Wise, the one I did, parental assessment was more important than anything else. For instance, there's a HUGE difference b/t complaining crying and terrified/hurt crying. CIO should NEVER be used on that second type. Also, if the baby doesn't stop crying within around 15 minutes, you're supposed to go to them. When I used it in removing night feedings, I would actually go in at the first sign of a cry. I'd pat them a little, reassure them that I was there, then remove myself. They'd cry for maybe 10 minutes, (the complaining cry), then fall back asleep. The second night, they'd maybe wake for 5 minutes. By the third or fourth night, they wouldn't wake at all. With Baby Wise, people get in huge trouble when they try to skim through the book and decide they know what they are doing. No, there's a whole book for a reason, which has extremely important, helpful and necessary cautions and tips in it that you probably would miss by skimming through it. The tool isn't what is dangerous. It's the person who weilds it. 

Quoting ilovemy_bump:

I agree! There's no way I could just listen to my baby cry and cry I would feel horrible and like I abandoned them. I also disagree that Co sleeping is dangerous if done correct it is safer and lowers risk of sids

Quoting hp2011:

Quoting Babicakes24:

this is really scarey. co sleeping with babies is dangerous and def not good for when they get older and need to be sleeping in their own bed. my son has slept on his own since he was born. after 3 months we were able to just put him in his crib give him his bottle and cover him wind his mobil and leave the room and he goes to sleep. the first few times he cried. but as long as they are changed fed, bathed, and not in pain its ok. he didnt cry long and he doesnt cry anymore when we put him down.

I'm far more worried about you using the CIO method on your THREE MONTH OLD.

I read a story on here that prevented me from EVER doing the CIO method, and even before that story.. I didn't have children just for them to scream all the time. If they want me, I get them.

& Yes, children DO die from CIO.

no, I don't agree with that. I started from day one with the twins. I used Baby Wise (and actually read the ENTIRE book, unlike a lot of people), and in the beginning it's all about feeding schedules. Around 9-12 weeks then you can start really sleep training them. Mine were sleeping 8 hours straight by 2 months. Part of Baby Wise is CIO, but you bash CIO because you don't understand it. You see the horror stories come out of 3rd world orphanages of babies left to scream all day and all night, and apply it to the way it's done everywhere. Applied correctly, CIO in no way shape or form resembles those orphanages, and the baby is in no danger whatsoever. 

Quoting Baby_Avas_Momma:

Ok, but it is dangerous. Even hardcore CIO parents won't even recommend it until baby is atleast 6 months old. I'm not going to argue with you, but I will say that personal opinions, and lets not forget the famous "my kids turned out *just fine*" defense, does not stomp facts. When you know better, you do better.

Quoting Babicakes24:

it is not dangerous lol but thanks for your imput

Quoting Baby_Avas_Momma:

Leaving a 3 month old alone in a crib to CIO and feed himself his own bottle is far more dangerous. There are precautions one must take in order to safely co-sleep, just as those who choose to have their babies in a crib must ensure that is safe also.

Quoting Babicakes24:

this is really scarey. co sleeping with babies is dangerous and def not good for when they get older and need to be sleeping in their own bed. my son has slept on his own since he was born. after 3 months we were able to just put him in his crib give him his bottle and cover him wind his mobil and leave the room and he goes to sleep. the first few times he cried. but as long as they are changed fed, bathed, and not in pain its ok. he didnt cry long and he doesnt cry anymore when we put him down.

I dont' think bed size  growing up has anything to do with it. I grew up sleeping in both twin & full sized beds & now sleep in a king. I stopped lseeping as deeply once I had kids. We bedshare still at 3 yrs old(mainly because of lack of room) & have done this since the day he was born. He was less than 4 hrs old sleeping in his crib that was sidecarred to my side of the bed.  Co sleeping/bedsharing can be done safely.  I was much less of a zombie mom when I bedshared than I was when I didn't(with my older ones because I didn't know to). I was also way more aware of baby during the night too, he moved one muscle I woke  to adjust things...generally meaning popping the boob in his mouth to settle him. lol

I cosleep. I've slept in twin beds alone, full with my sister, queen with my husband.

I don't think my past beds have an affect though. I practice safe cosleeping and have 5 great sleepers.

No I slept in double bed my whole life I just don't move much...I think this also happens because new moms are soo tired

I agree :)

Safe Cosleeping Guidelines

Guidelines to Sleeping Safe with Infants:

Maximizing the chances of Safe Infant Sleep in the Solitary and Cosleeping (Specifically, Bed-sharing) Contexts, by James J. McKenna, Ph.D. Professor of Biological Anthropology, Director, Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory, University of Notre Dame.

Below I have summarized and highlight some of the issues to be concerned with as you make your own decisions about where and how your infant should sleep.

What constitutes a "safe sleep environment" irrespective of where the infant sleeps?

Safe infant sleep begins with a healthy gestation, specifically without the fetus being exposed to maternal smoke.

Breastfeeding significantly helps to protect infants from death including deaths from SIDS/SUDI and from seconday disease and/or congenital conditions.

Post-natally safe infant sleep begins especially with the presence of an informed, breastfeeding, committed mother, or an informed and committed father.

Infants should sleep on their backs, on firm surfaces, on clean surfaces, in the absence of smoke, under light (comfortable) blanketing, and their heads should never be covered. 

The bed should not have any stuffed animals or pillows around the infant and never should an infant be placed to sleep on top of a pillow.

Sheepskins or other fluffy material and especially bean bag mattresses should never be used. Water beds can be dangerous, too, and always the mattresses should tightly intersect the bed-frame Infants should never sleep on couches or sofas, with or without adults wherein they can slip down (face first) into the crevice or get wedged against the back of a couch.

Bed-sharing: It is important to be aware that adult beds were not designed to assure infants safety!

• Bottle-feeding babies should always sleep alongside the mother on a separate surface rather than in the bed.
• If bed-sharing, ideally, both parents should agree and feel comfortable with the decision. Each bed-sharer should agree that he or she is equally responsible for the infant and acknowledge that the infant is present. My feeling is that both parents should think of themselves as primary caregivers.
• Infants a year or less should not sleep with other children siblings -- but always with a person who can take responsibility for the infant being there;
• Persons on sedatives, medications or drugs, or is intoxicated - -or excessively unable to arouse should not cosleep on the same surface with the infant.
• Excessively long hair on the mother should be tied up to prevent infant entanglement around the infant's neck -- (yes, it has really happened!)
• Extremely obese persons, who may not feel where exactly or how close their infant is, may wish to have the infant sleep alongside but on a different surface.
• It is important to realize that the physical and social conditions under which infant-parent cosleeping occur, in all it's diverse forms, can and will determine the risks or benefits of this behavior. What goes on in bed is what matters.
• It may be important to consider or reflect on whether you would think that you suffocated your baby if, under the most unlikely scenario, your baby died from SIDS while in your bed. Just as babies can die from SIDS in a risk free solitary sleep environment, it remains possible for a baby to die in a risk-free cosleeping/bed sharing environment. Just make sure, as much as this is possible, that you would not assume that , if the baby died, that either you or your spouse would think that bed-sharing contributed to the death, or that one of your really suffocated (by accident) the infant. It is worth thinking about.

Quoting DirtyHippyMama:

I think it has more to do with other issues like is the mother or father a smoker? Drug user? Drinker? Does the mother FF or Breastfeed (safer for the co-sleeping mom to bf, they have a stronger sense of their baby). What kind of bedding is on the bed, etc. Co-sleeping can be safe, but most times when there is a death involved it is because the parent isn't following safe bed sharing rules. 

Baby Wise is a book that should be burned. It's caused MANY cases of malnutrition in infants. And CIO, no matter how you sugar coat it, has been proven to cause brain damage and increase risk of SIDS. Like I said, personally experience, opinions, and the "my kids turned out just fine" does not override facts and statistics.

Quoting mommy2b39465:

no, I don't agree with that. I started from day one with the twins. I used Baby Wise (and actually read the ENTIRE book, unlike a lot of people), and in the beginning it's all about feeding schedules. Around 9-12 weeks then you can start really sleep training them. Mine were sleeping 8 hours straight by 2 months. Part of Baby Wise is CIO, but you bash CIO because you don't understand it. You see the horror stories come out of 3rd world orphanages of babies left to scream all day and all night, and apply it to the way it's done everywhere. Applied correctly, CIO in no way shape or form resembles those orphanages, and the baby is in no danger whatsoever. 

Quoting Baby_Avas_Momma:

Ok, but it is dangerous. Even hardcore CIO parents won't even recommend it until baby is atleast 6 months old. I'm not going to argue with you, but I will say that personal opinions, and lets not forget the famous "my kids turned out *just fine*" defense, does not stomp facts. When you know better, you do better.

Quoting Babicakes24:

it is not dangerous lol but thanks for your imput

Quoting Baby_Avas_Momma:

Leaving a 3 month old alone in a crib to CIO and feed himself his own bottle is far more dangerous. There are precautions one must take in order to safely co-sleep, just as those who choose to have their babies in a crib must ensure that is safe also.

Quoting Babicakes24:

this is really scarey. co sleeping with babies is dangerous and def not good for when they get older and need to be sleeping in their own bed. my son has slept on his own since he was born. after 3 months we were able to just put him in his crib give him his bottle and cover him wind his mobil and leave the room and he goes to sleep. the first few times he cried. but as long as they are changed fed, bathed, and not in pain its ok. he didnt cry long and he doesnt cry anymore when we put him down.

WOW!!  O.o  It IS dangerous.  CIO has been medically proven to cause brain damage.  And giving a 3 month old his/her own bottle to feed him/herself ALONE in a crib???  Hello??  Choking hazard.  I think you are the one who needs to do your research.

Quoting Babicakes24:

ok its not dangerous, ive got three kids and they are all fine. and i know letting a baby or kid sleep in your bed the rest of its life is far more dangerous. ive never in my life heard a child dying from sleeping in their own crib with a bottle. people will argue anything but i dont care i know whats right and wrong.

Quoting mama91605:

I agree.

Quoting jackiewal10:

All of this is opinion, not fact.  And CIO is dangerous, especially in an infant that young.  I wouldn't advocate that as "ok".

Quoting Babicakes24:

this is really scarey. co sleeping with babies is dangerous and def not good for when they get older and need to be sleeping in their own bed. my son has slept on his own since he was born. after 3 months we were able to just put him in his crib give him his bottle and cover him wind his mobil and leave the room and he goes to sleep. the first few times he cried. but as long as they are changed fed, bathed, and not in pain its ok. he didnt cry long and he doesnt cry anymore when we put him down.

Babywise is a HORRIBLE book and should never be used as a "good example".  And there ARE documented infant deaths that trace back to this book.  I can't believe they still sell it.  Feeding schedules are not good for infants.  And I don't think anyone in here thinks of 3rd world orphanages when they think of CIO.

Quoting mommy2b39465:

no, I don't agree with that. I started from day one with the twins. I used Baby Wise (and actually read the ENTIRE book, unlike a lot of people), and in the beginning it's all about feeding schedules. Around 9-12 weeks then you can start really sleep training them. Mine were sleeping 8 hours straight by 2 months. Part of Baby Wise is CIO, but you bash CIO because you don't understand it. You see the horror stories come out of 3rd world orphanages of babies left to scream all day and all night, and apply it to the way it's done everywhere. Applied correctly, CIO in no way shape or form resembles those orphanages, and the baby is in no danger whatsoever. 

Quoting Baby_Avas_Momma:

Ok, but it is dangerous. Even hardcore CIO parents won't even recommend it until baby is atleast 6 months old. I'm not going to argue with you, but I will say that personal opinions, and lets not forget the famous "my kids turned out *just fine*" defense, does not stomp facts. When you know better, you do better.

Quoting Babicakes24:

it is not dangerous lol but thanks for your imput

Quoting Baby_Avas_Momma:

Leaving a 3 month old alone in a crib to CIO and feed himself his own bottle is far more dangerous. There are precautions one must take in order to safely co-sleep, just as those who choose to have their babies in a crib must ensure that is safe also.

Quoting Babicakes24:

this is really scarey. co sleeping with babies is dangerous and def not good for when they get older and need to be sleeping in their own bed. my son has slept on his own since he was born. after 3 months we were able to just put him in his crib give him his bottle and cover him wind his mobil and leave the room and he goes to sleep. the first few times he cried. but as long as they are changed fed, bathed, and not in pain its ok. he didnt cry long and he doesnt cry anymore when we put him down.

I'm the same way and dh does the same thing,lol! He can even come stand next to my side of the bed and I wake up because I sense him there.
I think in most if not all cosleeping deaths parents were using drugs,alcohol,or nicotine.

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

I slept like the dead before kids and since having them I wake at the drop of a hat.  Literally, my husband wakes me up every morning by whispering my name at the foot of our bed (so as not to wake the sleeping child in my arms!  haha).

When you co-sleep, you're semi-aware of the baby all night.   It's instinctive, it's how we're designed to sleep.   It's dangerous when there's a substance in your system preventing you from being aware of them.

Also... I have compared it to knowing not to roll off the bed.   We all learn at a young age that there's an edge and if you roll, you will fall off.   We're all subconsciously aware of that edge and don't roll off.   Same with with a baby... you're not going to roll on baby because you know she's there.