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Support for a mom getting out of a verbally abusive Relationship

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Hi I'm new to Cafemom and this is my first post there are two things that has been nagging at me since my baby was born I have been in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship with my child's father and I want to get out of it and away from him for good our baby is now six months old and he is beginning to speak harshly to her and raise his voice at her as well.  Are there any support groups I could go to, to discuss what I am going through and how to get aways from him for good I'm afraid his behavior will get worst towards me and my baby.  Also while at the hospital giving birth when you ladies were alone did the nurse/doctor approach any of you and ask if you were in an abusive relationship.  I'm wondering could she tell I was in an abusive relationship or is that just protocol.  Okay thanks

by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 11:05 PM
Replies (21-27):
abra
by Abra on Jun. 12, 2012 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this
this, if you cant afford a therapist, i found a church to take me under their wing.

as far as the question, it probably depends on state and hospital protocol. They ask me because in my medical history, I'm flagged because of the issues growing up in an abusive home created for me.


Quoting kturn08:

I was in a verbally & emotionally & physically abusive relationship with my daughter's father, and, after 3 years, I finally got out a little over a month ago. I started seeing a therapist, and talking to her is what gave me the strength to leave. She told me the difficult things that I couldn't admit to myself, and didn't sugar coat anything. So I'd say definitely go see a therapist. Look in the phone book, or call your insurance company and see if there are any in your area that are covered. And it may sound kind of sexist, but request a female therapist; I know there's no way I would've been able to be as open with a man as I was with a woman. And keep in mind that no matter how much you hate the abuse, it will still be hard and it will still be painful to leave, but it's what's best for you and for your baby, so you CAN'T let yourself fall back into what's easy!

Good luck, mama. Don't give up.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ty355172
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 11:45 AM
1. I would go seek out a safe place.
2. Leave!!!!! Take everything u need with u and get a restrainting order.
3. Get legal advice on getting full custody.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ty355172
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 11:46 AM
You can't change a dog!


Quoting HoneyBrown26:



Quoting kturn08:


I was in a verbally & emotionally & physically abusive relationship with my daughter's father, and, after 3 years, I finally got out a little over a month ago. I started seeing a therapist, and talking to her is what gave me the strength to leave. She told me the difficult things that I couldn't admit to myself, and didn't sugar coat anything. So I'd say definitely go see a therapist. Look in the phone book, or call your insurance company and see if there are any in your area that are covered. And it may sound kind of sexist, but request a female therapist; I know there's no way I would've been able to be as open with a man as I was with a woman. And keep in mind that no matter how much you hate the abuse, it will still be hard and it will still be painful to leave, but it's what's best for you and for your baby, so you CAN'T let yourself fall back into what's easy!


Good luck, mama. Don't give up.


Yeah I think I'm going to go seek counseling I was seeing a therapist when I was still pregnant and she made me see the harsh reality of my situation so I stop going because I thought maybe he would be a better father than finance' but I see I was wrong.  I'm going to go through my insurance and stick with it this time.  Thanks


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NCMOMMIE18
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 1:13 PM

They ask all Mother's that question I think. Or at least they asked me that question, and my husband is the sweetest man on the planet. I'm so sorry sweetie! I was in a very abusive relationship before I met my husband and I know how you must be feeling. Please feel free to message me anytime you feel up to talking. I would be more than happy to talk to you. I would get a restraining order, and go stay with a family member or friend where you two will be safe. Best of luck to you and your baby.

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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jun. 12, 2012 at 1:19 PM

 It's protocol.

HoneyBrown26
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 1:39 PM

Yeah my mom just recently relocated back here so she is going to be a big help I plan on moving back in with her for awhile. 

Quoting Babicakes24:

ok ive had many abusive relationships. one was before my now husband. it was my boyfriend and second babies father. i had no car no job and we lived with his grandparents out in the country i knew no one around here no family or anything. also the grandparents let him do what he wanted he was verbally and physically abusive to me and he couldnt keep a job also drank and did drugs. i had enough awhile back and we had a baby who was also around 7 months old. i met someone online and got to know id say i was going to a gf house and let him pick me up down the road so they didnt see. eventually id had enough and was ready to leave him. what i did was i had the guy come get me and my son and did it all with the babys father and family present. what i did was i packed all of babys stuff when they were gone the previous day then at night i packed his food and stuff and put it all in bags outside my window where it wasnt visable. the friends of mine came at night put the babies stuff in their car and i was distracting the family . then when the babys dad got in the shower i ran out of the house with my son and got in the car and left. it wasnt long till they went and got custody bc they were old fucks and wealthy and well known in the town they pulled wrong strings got dirty cops and knew the judge. even though they took my son i know i got out when i needed to . i still go see my son. hes safe. i plan to save up and go to court but everyone i need is crazy expensive. but i want to win and these ppl r twisted and wealthy. im just focusing on my happy life now i have a son and husband and in college. as long as my kids are happy and safe i can save up till i can get him. im glad to be away from that abusive relationship hes not like that towards his son thank god it was just me.

i know what its like and if i could get out so can u. i have faith. u can call hotlines and you have options. do you have friends or family to help you ?


Babicakes24
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:14 PM

you're lucky, my mother didnt give a crap, she told me to take my baby and go to a homeless shelter!

Quoting HoneyBrown26:

Yeah my mom just recently relocated back here so she is going to be a big help I plan on moving back in with her for awhile. 

Quoting Babicakes24:

ok ive had many abusive relationships. one was before my now husband. it was my boyfriend and second babies father. i had no car no job and we lived with his grandparents out in the country i knew no one around here no family or anything. also the grandparents let him do what he wanted he was verbally and physically abusive to me and he couldnt keep a job also drank and did drugs. i had enough awhile back and we had a baby who was also around 7 months old. i met someone online and got to know id say i was going to a gf house and let him pick me up down the road so they didnt see. eventually id had enough and was ready to leave him. what i did was i had the guy come get me and my son and did it all with the babys father and family present. what i did was i packed all of babys stuff when they were gone the previous day then at night i packed his food and stuff and put it all in bags outside my window where it wasnt visable. the friends of mine came at night put the babies stuff in their car and i was distracting the family . then when the babys dad got in the shower i ran out of the house with my son and got in the car and left. it wasnt long till they went and got custody bc they were old fucks and wealthy and well known in the town they pulled wrong strings got dirty cops and knew the judge. even though they took my son i know i got out when i needed to . i still go see my son. hes safe. i plan to save up and go to court but everyone i need is crazy expensive. but i want to win and these ppl r twisted and wealthy. im just focusing on my happy life now i have a son and husband and in college. as long as my kids are happy and safe i can save up till i can get him. im glad to be away from that abusive relationship hes not like that towards his son thank god it was just me.

i know what its like and if i could get out so can u. i have faith. u can call hotlines and you have options. do you have friends or family to help you ?



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