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Did You Let Your Babies 'Cry It Out'?

Study Shows 'Crying It Out' Is Best for Babies

Posted by Mary Fischer

crying babyAny new parent will tell you that one of the hardest things to adjust to with a baby is the whole not getting a remotely decent amount of sleep thing. Unless you are one of those one in a million people who wound up with a gem of a baby who slept through the night on day one, I'm sure you've struggled with what you should or should not do when your little one wakes up crying in the middle of the night.

Well, a new study conducted at Temple University in Philadelphia has concluded that letting your baby cry it out is the best plan to ensure that he or she learns how to self-soothe.

Um, that's all well and good -- but listening to your baby cry, moan, and wail for you in the middle of the night and not doing a darn thing about it is way, way easier said than done.

I can't help but wonder if any of the researchers involved are moms, because if they are, they should really know better than to tell us to just let our babies cry and go back to sleep and forget about it.

When my son was a baby, he was not a good sleeper. At all. Granted, he went to bed and fell asleep very easily each night, but he woke up crying at least once or twice until he was around 8 or 9 months old.

And after a few people urged me to let him cry it out with the promise of his waking up in the middle of the night being corrected in a day or two -- I finally did it. And it nearly broke my heart. I listened to him cry incessantly for a good 45 minutes before he finally gave up and fell asleep -- and I'm pretty sure I cried right along with him.

I felt like I'd abandoned him in some way, like he couldn't understand why I wasn't coming for him. And I just couldn't bear the thought of him feeling like I'd forgotten about him or didn't care, which is why the next night, I promptly went into his room when he woke up crying.

Instead of picking him up out of his crib, however, I simply went over and assured him that I was there, rubbed his head a little, gave him his pacifier, and not too long after that, he drifted back off to sleep. The process only took about five or ten minutes, and it was much less stressful than laying in my bed tossing and turning and listening to him cry, that's for sure.

To each his own, but for me, there's no way I'd do the crying it out thing if I had another baby. News flash -- babies cry in the middle of the night, because they're babies and that's what babies do. It's part of the deal, and instead of trying to find a magical one-size-fits-all solution, parents really just need to do whatever works best for them. Seriously, don't these researchers have anything better to analyze?

Have you ever let your baby cry it out?

by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:35 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:52 PM
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Yeah but he wasn't actually crying it out. He was really just moving around for a few minutes before he fell asleep. He wasn't a very fussy baby.
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by Brandy on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:11 PM


by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:38 PM
I did with my oldest but not until he was 10 months but he was very independent by then. He cried 5 minutes just to see if I'd come then he'd go right to sleep.

My second son I didn't use it because he was a much more dependent. It wouldn't of worked.

My third is breastfeeding. I've kind of adopted a semi-attachment parenting style so no cry it out.
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:41 PM
My second was that gem of a kid that slept great from night one but my first I got up with till he was older then I let him cry Yes.
And I'd do it again. I was losing my mind and I refuse to co- sleep.
It was extremely hard not to run in.
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:50 PM
NO WAY!!!!!
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:57 PM

Kind of I guess. I always go to them and hold, love on, feed, and rock then EVERYTIME they wake and cry. However, I have learned that after all that, if I say good night and walk out of the room, they will cry for a few minutes, but always stop quickly and go to sleep. If it takes any longer than 5-10 minutes (a very rare situation for my kids), I go back in and do the whole process over. I look at it as their way of attempting to protest bed time.

My look on it is this, yes babies will pass out after being left to cry for a long period of time simply because they are exhausted from crying. Some babies need to cry and not get the immediate reaction of an adult running to them in order for them to settle down enough to sleep. Either way, you are a parent and need to find out what works best for your child. I do not agree with just letting them cry without ever being comforted. However I do not see a problem with AFTER meeting all their needs, letting them cry for small periods of time if nothing else works.

Disclaimer: Both my kids were well over a year old BEFORE implmenting this type of CIO. I do not condone using even this method until baby is emotionally and physically ready, which, IMO is about a year old

by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 3:05 PM

Yes. She has always just went right to sleep though, no crying.

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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 3:24 PM

 i dunno what studies to believe anymore.. i believe i also saw one before on the stir about it being dangerous for infants.. or something like that... we don't do CIO till they are at least a yr old.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 3:30 PM

Hell no.

I'm a mother, it's my job to answer the cries of my baby. The reason it's so 'hard' to hear them cry is because it should be one of the most basic maternal instincts - and it's not meant to be ignored.

Babies don't learn to 'self soothe' by being ignored, they learn that by being soothed.

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