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Did You Let Your Babies 'Cry It Out'?

Study Shows 'Crying It Out' Is Best for Babies

Posted by Mary Fischer

crying babyAny new parent will tell you that one of the hardest things to adjust to with a baby is the whole not getting a remotely decent amount of sleep thing. Unless you are one of those one in a million people who wound up with a gem of a baby who slept through the night on day one, I'm sure you've struggled with what you should or should not do when your little one wakes up crying in the middle of the night.

Well, a new study conducted at Temple University in Philadelphia has concluded that letting your baby cry it out is the best plan to ensure that he or she learns how to self-soothe.

Um, that's all well and good -- but listening to your baby cry, moan, and wail for you in the middle of the night and not doing a darn thing about it is way, way easier said than done.

I can't help but wonder if any of the researchers involved are moms, because if they are, they should really know better than to tell us to just let our babies cry and go back to sleep and forget about it.

When my son was a baby, he was not a good sleeper. At all. Granted, he went to bed and fell asleep very easily each night, but he woke up crying at least once or twice until he was around 8 or 9 months old.

And after a few people urged me to let him cry it out with the promise of his waking up in the middle of the night being corrected in a day or two -- I finally did it. And it nearly broke my heart. I listened to him cry incessantly for a good 45 minutes before he finally gave up and fell asleep -- and I'm pretty sure I cried right along with him.

I felt like I'd abandoned him in some way, like he couldn't understand why I wasn't coming for him. And I just couldn't bear the thought of him feeling like I'd forgotten about him or didn't care, which is why the next night, I promptly went into his room when he woke up crying.

Instead of picking him up out of his crib, however, I simply went over and assured him that I was there, rubbed his head a little, gave him his pacifier, and not too long after that, he drifted back off to sleep. The process only took about five or ten minutes, and it was much less stressful than laying in my bed tossing and turning and listening to him cry, that's for sure.

To each his own, but for me, there's no way I'd do the crying it out thing if I had another baby. News flash -- babies cry in the middle of the night, because they're babies and that's what babies do. It's part of the deal, and instead of trying to find a magical one-size-fits-all solution, parents really just need to do whatever works best for them. Seriously, don't these researchers have anything better to analyze?

Have you ever let your baby cry it out?

by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:35 PM
Replies (21-30):
pittymama
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 4:09 PM

only when she would whine at bedtime/nap times. she only fusses for a few seconds, maybe a minute. not actual crying. i've never ignored crying during the day OR night. 

alandou
by April on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this

yes and it worked for us. there's nothing wrong with my child and she's 3 years old now.

mandapanda82
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:48 PM
Well I wouldn't call that CIO- he was just a little restless not a cryer. That's great! It's hard to hear em cry


Quoting Laulaulu321:

Yeah but he wasn't actually crying it out. He was really just moving around for a few minutes before he fell asleep. He wasn't a very fussy baby.

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mandapanda82
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:50 PM
? Sorry that last part I don't get.


Quoting Randi02:

Hell no.

I'm a mother, it's my job to answer the cries of my baby. The reason it's so 'hard' to hear them cry is because it should be one of the most basic maternal instincts - and it's not meant to be ignored.

Babies don't learn to 'self soothe' by being ignored, they learn that by being soothed.


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ahalpern831
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:52 PM
Yes, somewhat. I let her cry for 10 minutes and if she wasn't sleeping by then I would go and soothe her. But 98% of the time she would be sleeping in 4-5 minutes.
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Randi02
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Ignoring your baby doesn't teach them to soothe themselves. It teaches them that you're inconsistent and its not worth the tears.
Responding to them builds security, and they learn they don't need you as much.


Quoting mandapanda82:

? Sorry that last part I don't get.




Quoting Randi02:

Hell no.

I'm a mother, it's my job to answer the cries of my baby. The reason it's so 'hard' to hear them cry is because it should be one of the most basic maternal instincts - and it's not meant to be ignored.

Babies don't learn to 'self soothe' by being ignored, they learn that by being soothed.


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mandapanda82
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:59 PM
CIO is not Ignoring your baby.. You make sure they're fed, dry and safe before you let them cio. And I understand the security thing but my baby knows ill be back when she wakes up!


Quoting Randi02:

Ignoring your baby doesn't teach them to soothe themselves. It teaches them that you're inconsistent and its not worth the tears.

Responding to them builds security, and they learn they don't need you as much.




Quoting mandapanda82:

? Sorry that last part I don't get.






Quoting Randi02:

Hell no.

I'm a mother, it's my job to answer the cries of my baby. The reason it's so 'hard' to hear them cry is because it should be one of the most basic maternal instincts - and it's not meant to be ignored.

Babies don't learn to 'self soothe' by being ignored, they learn that by being soothed.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
luvmylilbean
by Silver Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:03 PM

No way. I don't understand how someone can hear their baby crying for them and do nothing. :(

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:04 PM
Are those your needs, too? How would you feel if your husband ignored your cries, or attempts to communicate because you were fed, clean and safe?
I'm responsive, regardless of the time of day/night.
I don't ignore any of my baby's cries.


Quoting mandapanda82:

CIO is not Ignoring your baby.. You make sure they're fed, dry and safe before you let them cio. And I understand the security thing but my baby knows ill be back when she wakes up!




Quoting Randi02:

Ignoring your baby doesn't teach them to soothe themselves. It teaches them that you're inconsistent and its not worth the tears.


Responding to them builds security, and they learn they don't need you as much.






Quoting mandapanda82:

? Sorry that last part I don't get.








Quoting Randi02:

Hell no.

I'm a mother, it's my job to answer the cries of my baby. The reason it's so 'hard' to hear them cry is because it should be one of the most basic maternal instincts - and it's not meant to be ignored.

Babies don't learn to 'self soothe' by being ignored, they learn that by being soothed.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mandapanda82
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:09 PM
Lets just agree to disagree. I love my baby and shw knows it:)


Quoting Randi02:

Are those your needs, too? How would you feel if your husband ignored your cries, or attempts to communicate because you were fed, clean and safe?

I'm responsive, regardless of the time of day/night.

I don't ignore any of my baby's cries.




Quoting mandapanda82:

CIO is not Ignoring your baby.. You make sure they're fed, dry and safe before you let them cio. And I understand the security thing but my baby knows ill be back when she wakes up!






Quoting Randi02:

Ignoring your baby doesn't teach them to soothe themselves. It teaches them that you're inconsistent and its not worth the tears.



Responding to them builds security, and they learn they don't need you as much.








Quoting mandapanda82:

? Sorry that last part I don't get.










Quoting Randi02:

Hell no.

I'm a mother, it's my job to answer the cries of my baby. The reason it's so 'hard' to hear them cry is because it should be one of the most basic maternal instincts - and it's not meant to be ignored.

Babies don't learn to 'self soothe' by being ignored, they learn that by being soothed.




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