I love my son (Sam) and ever since he was born, I always had this fear of walking into his bedroom and looking down on him in his crib and seeing that he's dead.
I hate this feeling and I wish it would stop.
I feel like I have to make it a routine to check up on him multiple times at one naptime.
Like now, he's been sleeping for 3 1/2 hours which is totally, totally normal for him (he's 6 months old) and I'm afraid of going in there and seeing him dead. I had this same fear with my oldest son (Alex) when he was younger. He's 7 yrs old now so I don't worry about him like I use to when he sleeps.
I just don't know what to do anymore. Ir's driving me crazy!
Is this a normal feeling to have?
Have you felt like this before? What did you do? How did you resolve this problem.
But when Sam (my youngest son) was 3 months old, there was an incident where he was laying on his back with his eyes wide open and he was motionless. (he has an airplane hanging on his mobile) He was looking at that. He only stayed that way for 5 seconds until he noticed that I was there and then he looked at me and smiled.
But for those 5 seconds (it seemed like it lasted 10 hours) I was so afraid that he was dead. And I feel that my paranoid behavior got worse after that incident. I was afraid before it happened but it wasn't as bad as after the incident happened. And then last week, while he was taking his afternoon nap, I tip toed in there to see if he was ok and I couldn't see him breathe (i got scared) and I gently touched his back (yes! he sleeps on his tummy, get over it he's 6 months old and he rolls by himself, it's out of my control) so i felt his back and he was breathing just fine.
I thought after having my first kid, this fear would have gone away.