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I've lost it all

Posted by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:17 PM
  • 8 Replies
I guess this is a vent but im in tears and typing helps I guess. I really miss my life pre pregnancy. Don't get me wrong I love my son to death and he is my everything but I miss everything so much. Before I was in colorguard, spinning flags rifles and sabres, and I went to see a psychologist for my severe depression and severe social anxiety disorder. I really connected with her and I've been doing colorguard since I was on sixth grade. I had to stop seeing my psychologist to be able to see my ob and of course I can't do colorguard while pregnant and knew I wouldn't be able to do it my senior year because of the baby. My mom understands why this makes me upset but my bf really doesn't. It hurts even more now that my mom really tried behind my back to get my bf to one of my competitions because it meant so much to me but my bf made every excuse to not go and would not move his schedule around just to see my 5 minute show. I didn't know this until my mom accidentally told me while ranting of how he never tries. I just really miss what I had and my bf just doesn't sympathize or help and it upsets me because he hasn't had to give up anything. Gosh I really miss everything and I can't get it back!
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by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:17 PM
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by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:22 PM
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You are starting a new chapter in your life.  Just remember, the baby didn't end color guard.  That would have ended regardless. 

You can't spend your life always looking behind you.  You will miss out on everything that's right there in front of you.  Before you know it, your son won't be a baby anymore.  Then he suddenly won't be in elementary school anymore.  Then you will wonder how fast it all went by you as he moves out of your home. 

You've got a lot of living to do, but you'll waste it if your mind is stuck in the past.

by Abra on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:05 PM


by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:11 PM


by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Soon you will cross over and hopefully realize that your little man is everything. He will grow and you will have time for yourself again. Breathe. Don't focus so much on what is temporary. 

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 2:09 AM
Try to find new things you enjoy. Ones you can do with your son. Life has changed and its hard to find new things that you like to do sometimes. Also you may want to try to start seeing your psychologist again if it was a very helpful thing in the past
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by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 3:22 AM
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In 20 years, the fact that you stopped being in color guard will mean nothing to you. Your 20 year old son will. Stop worrying about things that don't matter, and focus on what does.

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:21 AM
This is a new chapter in life! Maybe try some mommy and me classes :]
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by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:25 AM
This may sound mean, but that is exactly why children shouldn't be having children. You deserve to enjoy your high school years and be young and free. Instead you chose a harder road and you have to live with those choices. You will never get to go back to your pre pregnancy life, but you get to start a new chapter. Believe me it's hard but so worth it. Good luck!
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