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13 baby refuses to fall asleep without someone standing by crib..

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:53 AM
  • 17 Replies

My daughter is 13 months and we had always been blessed with a great sleeper. She was a catnapper when she was smaller, only sleeping 30 min at a time- but she never needed a bottle, she never needed to be rocked, and she couldn't care less if she had the pacifier or not. We would just plop her down and she would be out. And she would sleep all night too!

But shortly after her first birthday, she started waking up all times of the night, mostly needing to be laid back down and given her pacifier and she would fall back asleep. Now it has turned into, SCREAMING and crying if we put her in her crib. Once we calm her down in her crib, she screams if we try to walk away. Letting her cry it out isn't working, I feel as though she knows I will come so each time she only cries louder than the last until I come in. She will only fall asleep with someone standing there and of course when she wakes at all times of the night she freaks out cause we are gone. We have gotten so exhausted that we eventually started co-sleeping. 

Im really at a loss how to get my little girl to sleep on her own again, any suggestions or stories of helpful similar experience would be great. Thank you!

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:53 AM
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MommyO2-6631
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:37 PM
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How ebout you stand by her crib for a few nights and every few days move closer to the door. Look up the Jo Bennett method
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BrittSam2011
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:48 PM
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She will keep getting louder until she figures out that you Aren't coming back in whenever she wants. You have to stay out until she goes to sleep again. I don't have a problem with cosleeping, I did it with all my kids, but her behavior is getting rediculous and you need to teach her that you aren't walking away forever, she'll see you again in the morning.

I walk into my 18 month old's room in the morning with a big smile, pick him up, and play with him (toss him up n catch him to make him laugh). 

abra
by Abra on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:53 PM
What kind of cio method are you using?

http://www.cafemom.com/group/113812/forums/read/15376115/The_biggest_difference_in_Ferber_CIO_vs_Compassioate_CIO_Methods
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sgillen
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:09 PM

I stay out in increasing time increments, but she hasnt fallen asleep like that so far. I am not completely against letting her cry it out, but I chose that method because she works herself up so much it worries me. Eventually after I go back and forth for a while (and the most I have let her cry at once is 25 minutes without going in), I end up bringing her into our bed. I get her to stop crying so she knows I will not pick her up crying then I bring her to bed. 


abra
by Abra on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:21 PM

Consistency is key when you are creating any new habits. This is what we do and it has worked well for us, but different things work for different families. 

"You've probably heard of Compassionate CIO (CCIO) and it can work well for a lot of people. CCIO is gentle, but is not the quickest solution you can find. The method suggests lots of reassurance and checking on your child so that your child learns to sleep by himself but with the minimum of distress possible. One of the nice things about CCIO is you are able to choose a progression pace to fit your needs. There is no perfect age to start and no rules about how long to allow controlled crying. You are the mom. You know what is best. 

The general idea of CCIO is that you go through your bedtime routine to prepare them for sleep. You are able to pick exactly what your routine is, but commonly a bath, reading or singing and meal are involved. After you have completed your bedtime routine, you lay your baby down in a safe crib or pack n play and shut the door behind you as you leave. You leave them to cry for a short time  (intervals are custom to child's needs) and then you can go in their room if/when they become anything more then mad at the situation. You know your baby's cry. If they  become frightened or something besides just angry, you go in, pick up your baby and comfort them until they are peaceful and ready to go to sleep, again. At which time, you lay your baby back down again and repeat the cycle.  It is, essentially, teaching your baby to go to sleep and eventually stay asleep without you. The benefits of starting sleep training younger is simply that they aren't as set in their habits, which helps minimize distress for everyone, but what age you start training is 100% up to you.

The downside of CCIO is that any crying can be distressing for your child and for you. There is no way around it. Allowing your child to cry is difficult - they want you and you're not going to them straight away and you're not picking them up as you would normally. But it is important to note that CCIO is attending to all your baby's needs (comfort, food, cleanliness) but is not indulging all of their wants (to be held or to nurse while they sleep, which ultimately is very difficult on mommy). CCIO is unique in that it achieves a healthy balance between indulgent and severe sleep training methods. 

After a number of nights the crying gradually lessens and finally your child will then go to sleep by themselves. Once you reach this stage everyone of course feels much better! Everyone gets more sleep and everyone has more energy. When you are training younger babies, you will still need to get up with them at night to feed them, but after they are fed, burped and clean again, you will start CCIO cycle again. 

The initial stages are tough for everyone. You need to agree with yourself and partner that you are going to let your child cry for an agreed amount of time and not give in until that pre-determined time. If you cannot do this, then CCIO is not the method for you. Inconsistency will only be upsetting for your child and will not help the sleep problem. 

Before you start any sleep training program always check with your medical professional that your child is well and healthy and that his/her sleep issues are not a sign of any underlying problem. "

http://www.cafemom.com/group/113812/forums/read/15376333/An_Introduction_to_Compassionate_CIO_Sleep_Training

Quoting sgillen:

I stay out in increasing time increments, but she hasnt fallen asleep like that so far. I am not completely against letting her cry it out, but I chose that method because she works herself up so much it worries me. Eventually after I go back and forth for a while (and the most I have let her cry at once is 25 minutes without going in), I end up bringing her into our bed. I get her to stop crying so she knows I will not pick her up crying then I bring her to bed. 




.....Ophelia Grace...............Mira Lorne...............Jude Bennett.........Liam Daniel Baines.


mollysmom328
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Mine went through this phase, it didn't last too long and sleeps fine now.

YzmaRocks
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:24 PM
Could she have an ear infection? I ask because my daughter was the same way for awhile - suddenly not sleeping well, screaming when we would lay her down, and just acting out of sorts when it came to sleeping. She had no symptoms of an ear infection but one day her ear started draining. Her doctor said her ear had been infected for awhile. Once it cleared up, she went down fine again.
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TiffanyMarie80
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:29 PM

This - she could be getting sick, teething, going through a growth spurt. . . .all of those things affect sleep patterns. 

Quoting YzmaRocks:

Could she have an ear infection? I ask because my daughter was the same way for awhile - suddenly not sleeping well, screaming when we would lay her down, and just acting out of sorts when it came to sleeping. She had no symptoms of an ear infection but one day her ear started draining. Her doctor said her ear had been infected for awhile. Once it cleared up, she went down fine again.


jlbelknap35
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:34 PM
That's how mine is when he has an ear infection or teething. There isn't always signs of ear pulling or fever. Take her to the dr and get her checked just incase. I've been going threw this for almost a month now bc my 14 month old has had an ear infection that just will not go away, also happened with him when he was six months, which is why I knew what it was this time.
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YzmaRocks
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:36 PM
Oh yeah, molars could do that too and 13 months is prime time for molars to erupt.

Quoting jlbelknap35:

That's how mine is when he has an ear infection or teething. There isn't always signs of ear pulling or fever. Take her to the dr and get her checked just incase. I've been going threw this for almost a month now bc my 14 month old has had an ear infection that just will not go away, also happened with him when he was six months, which is why I knew what it was this time.
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