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3 month old won't sleep! HELP!

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:04 AM
  • 11 Replies



Question: Is 3 months too young for a controlled crying at night?




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My three month old won't sleep unless I am holding him. I have 3 older children, 2,4,6 and he was a VERY fussy fourth and final baby. Screamed all the time, so obviously we held him. He is over the colic (and I stopped eating dairy) and he is a very different baby. Happy and fun. Unless you try to lay him down. Do you think I have caused this problem with all the holding? Not that I would have changed anything but I just wonder what to do now. We have done everything that worked before with our other kids. Elevated crib, white noise, fan in the room, bath routine before bed. I'm out of ideas!!! Is he too young to cry it out (I let him cry for 20 minutes one night to see if he would fall asleep and it took me literally 2 hours to calm him down when I picked him up)? Are we just stuck with him sleeping on me until he is "old enough" to cry? I'd love to know what you think!! I am exhausted and its starting to effect how I handle my other young children. 

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:04 AM
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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:23 AM
My lo is the same way since we brought her home- she was in the nicu for a month. Well she's 5 months today- and we put her down and no crying anymore! We had to do cio w her cuz that's the ONLY thing that would get her some sleep. I tried co sleeping- no, I tried baby wearing, no... CIO, yes. And it wasn't anything extreme I would go in after 20 min, or if she was uncontrollably crying id go in. And I understand if its not for you- you have to be dedicated to it and be sure it's for you. But I had no other option- I was beginning to get PPD, saying crazy things like I wish she wasn't born( god to this day I cannot believ I said that) and the poor bubs was totally miserable cuz she wasn't sleeping.. Whatever you choose good luck Hun
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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:38 AM

How does he normally go to sleep?  How do you lay him down?

My son will fall asleep while I nurse and rock him.  Then I will continue rocking or holding him until I can hear his breathing get heavier or slightly snore before I lay him down.  My son is a tummy sleeper (so was my daughter).  And I also give him a paci and a lovey blanket.

I do hope you can find a good routine to help.....I do know how important it is for mommy to get some rest!

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:38 PM
Way too young to CIO. I personally don't agree with it whatsoever. Have you tried cosleeping?
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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:27 PM
My oldest was the same way it took months before she could go to sleep by herself.
My two month old is a more chill baby but there are times when he is fussy and won't go to sleep so I normally give him a warm bath then feed him a little formula and before I know it he's sound sleep. WORKS EVERYTIME!
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:18 AM
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I know I'm in the minority, but I don't think 3 months is too young as long as you have learned the different types of cries. Compassionate CIO method has worked well for our family. Below is the link to the support group. I hope you find a system that works well for you! Good luck! 

"You've probably heard of Compassionate CIO (CCIO) and it can work well for a lot of people. CCIO is gentle, but is not the quickest solution you can find. The method suggests lots of reassurance and checking on your child so that your child learns to sleep by himself but with the minimum of distress possible. One of the nice things about CCIO is you are able to choose a progression pace to fit your needs. There is no perfect age to start and no rules about how long to allow controlled crying. You are the mom. You know what is best. 

The general idea of CCIO is that you go through your bedtime routine to prepare them for sleep. You are able to pick exactly what your routine is, but commonly a bath, reading or singing and meal are involved. After you have completed your bedtime routine, you lay your baby down in a safe crib or pack n play and shut the door behind you as you leave. You leave them to cry for a short time  (intervals are custom to child's needs) and then you can go in their room if/when they become anything more then mad at the situation. You know your baby's cry. If they  become frightened or something besides just angry, you go in, pick up your baby and comfort them until they are peaceful and ready to go to sleep, again. At which time, you lay your baby back down again and repeat the cycle.  It is, essentially, teaching your baby to go to sleep and eventually stay asleep without you. The benefits of starting sleep training younger is simply that they aren't as set in their habits, which helps minimize distress for everyone, but what age you start training is 100% up to you.

The downside of CCIO is that any crying can be distressing for your child and for you. There is no way around it. Allowing your child to cry is difficult - they want you and you're not going to them straight away and you're not picking them up as you would normally. But it is important to note that CCIO is attending to all your baby's needs (comfort, food, cleanliness) but is not indulging all of their wants (to be held or to nurse while they sleep, which ultimately is very difficult on mommy). CCIO is unique in that it achieves a healthy balance between indulgent and severe sleep training methods. 

After a number of nights the crying gradually lessens and finally your child will then go to sleep by themselves. Once you reach this stage everyone of course feels much better! Everyone gets more sleep and everyone has more energy. When you are training younger babies, you will still need to get up with them at night to feed them, but after they are fed, burped and clean again, you will start CCIO cycle again. 

The initial stages are tough for everyone. You need to agree with yourself and partner that you are going to let your child cry for an agreed amount of time and not give in until that pre-determined time. If you cannot do this, then CCIO is not the method for you. Inconsistency will only be upsetting for your child and will not help the sleep problem. 

Before you start any sleep training program always check with your medical professional that your child is well and healthy and that his/her sleep issues are not a sign of any underlying problem. "

.....Ophelia Grace...............Mira Lorne...............Jude Bennett.........Liam Daniel Baines.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:51 PM

Now is a great time to teach him to fall asleep on his own by putting him down drowsy but awake. I just lay my DD down and walk out of the room and she falls asleep on her own, and no nighttime waking. Best thing you can do for him.

This is how I got my baby to sleep through the night violet-sleepbabysleep.blogspot

by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:32 PM

hes high need... cio won't work on him... so, Yea... hold him, wear him, cosleep.   it's nothing you did, it's just his personality.   he'll outgrow it.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:36 PM

My daughter had a MAJOR sleep regression at 3 lasted for about three weeks and at the end of it she started sleeping through the night consistently. Your son might be going through the same thing. 

Are you swaddling? Have you tried letting him sleep in a swing? My girl slept swaddled, in a swing, with white noise going, until she was four months. He might just not be ready for motionless sleep yet.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:43 PM
my son was the same way. we bought him a fisher price rock and play sleeper thing. he still woke up through the night, but it was much more comfortable for him and he stayed down longer. it was a life saver. i think they recalled them because they mold if they get wet and you don't clean them properly, but that's just common sense.
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:18 PM

 Yes, 3 months is too young. Good luck, none of my babies had sleep issues except when teething.

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