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TRIGGER - What do I do??? :(

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:22 PM
  • 14 Replies
My really good friend just suffered her second miscarriage today. She and I started trying for a baby at the same time. She got pregnant one month after me and miscarried. She JUST got pregnant again and now has miscarried.

How do I comfort her? I have been crying since I got the news. I was in love with this baby, too. :(
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by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rosekit
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:27 PM

That's hard. My heart goes out to her. Just be there for her, support her and help her, and be her friend. 

Amberleigh81
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:01 PM
She told me she went to her regular appt today and there was no HB. There is a perfectly formed little baby inside her. I am so heartbroken. :(
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babygomez
by April on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:10 PM

I'm sorry to hear this.

Just hearing you say you will be there for her when she needs you, would be comforting enough, I bet.

mom2ljh
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:12 PM
Just be there for her.
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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:42 PM

 Aww : ( Heartbreaking : (

Bknotnobody
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:43 PM
Just listen and for the love of Pete don't tell her maybe its for the best, or whatever else. Just say you're there for her if she needs you.
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CelestialSong
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:46 PM
This just happened to me a few weeks ago, except I was the one who miscarried. I would have been due less than a week before my friend. IMO she did exactly what I needed - she told me how heartbroken she was for me and offered her support and friendship and told me if I needed to talk she was there. I'm not going to lie, for the first few days after it happened I was very emotional and it would have been hard to hear about her pregnancy, but once my hormones settled I was okay and genuinely happy for her that everything was good with her and her baby. Of course everyone is different, but I think the best thing you can do is just be there for her. If she wants to talk about it be available, and if not be willing to talk about other things instead. It's a hard thing to go through and there's nothing that will make it better but support and love make it easier to get through.
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Amberleigh81
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:21 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. I am so sorry about your loss.

I saw her last night and spent time with her. I made her brownies and took her red wine (two of her favorite "comforts").

I left my son at home for a few hours so she could have my undivided attention. Her husband went to my house and hung out with my husband. He bought him his favorite beer.

It just hurts. I cried like a lunatic when she told me she was pregnant because I was so happy. I can't stop crying now.

She's in shock still. I want to do anything to ease her pain.

My husband said he's cried twice already, and he didn't even cry when his dad died.

I am still in the anger stage of grief. Why did this have to happen?


Quoting CelestialSong:

This just happened to me a few weeks ago, except I was the one who miscarried. I would have been due less than a week before my friend. IMO she did exactly what I needed - she told me how heartbroken she was for me and offered her support and friendship and told me if I needed to talk she was there. I'm not going to lie, for the first few days after it happened I was very emotional and it would have been hard to hear about her pregnancy, but once my hormones settled I was okay and genuinely happy for her that everything was good with her and her baby. Of course everyone is different, but I think the best thing you can do is just be there for her. If she wants to talk about it be available, and if not be willing to talk about other things instead. It's a hard thing to go through and there's nothing that will make it better but support and love make it easier to get through.
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jessicaaris
by Jessica on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:46 AM

I am not sure what you can do to comfort her. I have never been in this situation. Best of luck.


expectantmom81
by Erin on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:23 AM
All I can say is just be there for her. I have never gone through this so I don't know what else to suggest. Sorry for the loss :(
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