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TRIGGER - What do I do??? :(

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My really good friend just suffered her second miscarriage today. She and I started trying for a baby at the same time. She got pregnant one month after me and miscarried. She JUST got pregnant again and now has miscarried.

How do I comfort her? I have been crying since I got the news. I was in love with this baby, too. :(
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by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Replies (11-14):
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:35 PM
As someone who just went through a miscarriage, id say be there for her at a distance. Youre pregnancy is going to be very painful for her. Talk to her but not about the pregnancy. Send her something for remembering her baby in the mail. Dont post too much on facebook right now. In a month or so, itll be a bit easier for her to cope but right now shes raw and everything will set her off in her grief.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:39 PM

that is so sad! Are they going to run some test to find out why she keeps miscarrying? one is normal but something that is recurring could mean there is something else going on. I would just tell her how heartbroken you are for her and you are thinking of her.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:46 PM

Just be there & listen. DOn't try to ofer advice or even say anything. I know I jsut wanted somone to offer to hug me & just listen & cry with me.

 BabyFruit Ticker

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:47 PM
Sounds like you're an awesome friend. I'm sure she would agree. Just keep being there for her :))

Quoting Amberleigh81:

Thank you. I am so sorry about your loss.

I saw her last night and spent time with her. I made her brownies and took her red wine (two of her favorite "comforts").

I left my son at home for a few hours so she could have my undivided attention. Her husband went to my house and hung out with my husband. He bought him his favorite beer.

It just hurts. I cried like a lunatic when she told me she was pregnant because I was so happy. I can't stop crying now.

She's in shock still. I want to do anything to ease her pain.

My husband said he's cried twice already, and he didn't even cry when his dad died.

I am still in the anger stage of grief. Why did this have to happen?

Quoting CelestialSong:

This just happened to me a few weeks ago, except I was the one who miscarried. I would have been due less than a week before my friend. IMO she did exactly what I needed - she told me how heartbroken she was for me and offered her support and friendship and told me if I needed to talk she was there. I'm not going to lie, for the first few days after it happened I was very emotional and it would have been hard to hear about her pregnancy, but once my hormones settled I was okay and genuinely happy for her that everything was good with her and her baby. Of course everyone is different, but I think the best thing you can do is just be there for her. If she wants to talk about it be available, and if not be willing to talk about other things instead. It's a hard thing to go through and there's nothing that will make it better but support and love make it easier to get through.

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