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It’s O.K. to Let Babies Cry It Out at Bedtime

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Mother and baby girl (2-5 months) sleeping together
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When infants can’t sleep, it usually means Mom and Dad aren’t getting much shut-eye either. That, in turn, can double the risk of depressive symptoms in mothers, cause strife in marriages and result in costly trips to the pediatrician.

For wiped-out parents wondering whether or not to sleep-train their restless babies, a new study in Pediatrics has some good news: strategies that let babies cry it out for limited periods while teaching them to sleep on their own can help families sleep better in the short term without causing long-term psychological damage in kids or weakening the bond between babies and parents.

The study looked at two sleep-training methods known as controlled comforting and camping out, both of which let babies cry it out for short amounts of time. Controlled comforting requires the parent to respond to their child’s cries at increasingly longer intervals to try to encourage the baby to settle down on her own. In camping out, the parent sits in a chair next to the child as he learns to fall asleep; slowly, over time, parents move the chair farther and farther away, until they are out of the room and the infant falls asleep alone.

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While neither strategy is as extreme as letting babies cry all night by themselves, they have been criticized over concerns that they may cause long-term emotional or psychological harm in babies, interfere with their ability to manage stress or cripple their relationship with their parents.

The new study by Australian researchers involved 326 children who had parent-reported sleep problems at 7 months. Half of the babies were put in the sleep-training group, in which parents learned helpful bedtime routines as well as the controlled-comforting or camping-out technique (parents could choose which strategy they wanted to use), and half were put in a control group that did not use sleep-training. The researchers followed up with the participants and their parents five years later. (By the study’s end, about 30% of families had dropped out.)

By age 6, the researchers found no significant differences between the kids in either group in terms of emotional health, behavior or sleep problems. In fact, slightly more children in the control group had emotional or behavioral problems than in the sleep-trained group.

Researchers also found no differences in mothers’ levels of depression or anxiety, or in the strength of parent-child bonds between families who had used sleep-training and those who hadn’t.

Meanwhile, earlier data from the study show that sleep-training does work: babies learn to go to sleep easier at bedtime and stay asleep longer at night. Based on the findings, the authors conclude that sleep-training is safe and effective, and call for an increase in parent education about these methods as well as more training for health specialists to recommend the procedures.



Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/10/its-o-k-to-let-babies-cry-it-out-at-bedtime/#ixzz2K3FWXMsz


.....Ophelia Grace...............Mira Lorne...............Jude Bennett.........Liam Daniel Baines.


by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Replies (111-119):
jridgill
by Sapphire Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:24 PM
We never left our kids to cry but we would sit beside them and rub their hand while they cried.
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sj3starz
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:28 PM
There's a difference between CIO and CCIO. The article is talking more about CCIO than CIO.

Personally I can't do CIO and even CCIO is stressful for me, but it has helped dd from 6 mo and on. She's now 14 mo and sleeping in a twin in her own room. If she ever needs us she gets up and knocks on her door, which wakes me up, and I go put her back to bed. There's little to no crying anymore... Unless she lost her binkie,then it's a different story. Lol

I feel like she's a happy and healthy kid who gets her sleep and takes get naps, usually without fuss. The whole family benefits. :-)
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Tranla
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:24 PM
Co-sleeping, done properly, reduces the risk of SIDS, which was originally called crib death.

Quoting mandapanda82:

And all the moms who choose to co sleep what about SIDS?! Isn't that a cause of SIDS? But I don't feel the need to attack moms who do this! It works for them and I understand
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mandapanda82
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:36 PM
I am not reading or responding to any more posts about the cry it out anymore so if anyone has any nasty comments youre wasting your time because I refuse to read anymore and refuse ti be subjected to this harassment from people that don't even know me- my baby knows I love her and is taken care of very well obviously since she is healthy and happy... All the moms that are hating have no life and are insecure about their parenting. So to all you hating no life moms have fun preaching to the mommas that will take it. Cuz this mommas not;)
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Mom2Just1
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:38 PM
We will never CIO. We have 2 kids and they are both good sleepers. First child slept well since around 6 weeks old. The second child is sleeping well at 9 weeks. We breastfeed and just follow our children's cues.
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newmama012006
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 5:20 PM
2 moms liked this

Sheesh.  Someone lets their kid CIO and out come the pitchforks.  LOL  Odd how nasty some mommies get with their opinions on CIO.  I wonder if those same mommies are this nasty when they differ in opinions on other issues as well, or is it just this one?  Hmmm.  Anyhoo.....  Here's what I don't understand:

  • Why are we so quick to jump all over another mommy over their opinion?  One thing that drives me nuts with women in general--and this only got worse when I became a mommy--is that we are SO FRIGGIN' QUICK to judge one another.  And it's even worse with CM, because we can hide behind a computer screen and say whatever comes to mind, without apparent thought to decorum or tact.  Why is that ok? 
  • What part of "A CHILD IS NOT LEFT TO CRY MORE THAN 20 MINS" are some people missing?  CIO is NOT--I repeat NOT--about simply leaving your baby to scream all night while you just go to bed.  C'mon, Ladies--you can't really think any mommy in here would really do that?!?!  Over and over I'm reading how "cruel" it is to leave baby to "scream redfaced," or "ignore" the baby, when it's been stated over and over and over and over that that's not what any mommy or article posted is suggesting.  Why not take the blinders off and READ what's written if you're going to comment on something?  Or, if the notion of CIO is just so offensive that you cannot possibly respond in a civil manner, just don't comment.  This is not a debate group, and while I do sometimes enjoy debate and deep discussion, calling another mother cruel and heartless and then telling her your don't care what she thinks about that is not  discussion or debate.  True discussion is reasonable, not personal.  True debate uses facts and sources, not personal opinion.   

I know I'll probably catch all kinds of hell for this, but it seems strange for many mommies, if they disagree with your decision to employ CIO, you're a heartless and selfish b**ch, but if they disagree with your decision to cosleep, well that may just "not be for everyone."  I truly don't understand the level of rancor for CIO.  I'm not on this forum all that often, so maybe I'm missing something.

For the record, I employed CIO with my oldest, but not with my younger two.  The reasons are because (A) Just because one method worked for one child doesn't mean it will work (or even should be tried) with all my kids, and (B) my younger two haven't needed to CIO--they both slept really well from the get-go (my 4 1/2 mo is already sleeping 7 hrs most nights), and seemed born knowing how to get themselves to sleep and put themselves back to sleep without fussing for me to put them back down (THAT, incidently is the point of CIO).  My older child knows that I love her, is an excellent sleeper (has been since a mere 2 days after employing CIO), and is a fabulous, smart, and well-behaved 7 year old.  I'm not heartless, cruel, or selfish.  And I will say that if the younger two needed to learn to soothe themselves, I would do CIO again with no compunction, guilt, or shame. 

One thing I would never do is cosleep.  I don't judge any other mommy here, if that's the choice she's made.  I don't think she's weird or nutty.  Nor do I think her kids will grow up to be wimps or sociopaths.  And I wouldn't rush to post such crap, either.  I simply think she made the choice she thinks is best for her and her fam, and because she's making it work for her, her kids will turn out just fine.  No big.  

See how easy that is?  Now why can't the CIO mommies be given the same respect?


I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

--Philippians 4:13

mandapanda82
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:05 PM
1 mom liked this
You're my hero:)

Quoting newmama012006:

Sheesh.  Someone lets their kid CIO and out come the pitchforks.  LOL  Odd how nasty some mommies get with their opinions on CIO.  I wonder if those same mommies are this nasty when they differ in opinions on other issues as well, or is it just this one?  Hmmm.  Anyhoo.....  Here's what I don't understand:

  • Why are we so quick to jump all over another mommy over their opinion?  One thing that drives me nuts with women in general--and this only got worse when I became a mommy--is that we are SO FRIGGIN' QUICK to judge one another.  And it's even worse with CM, because we can hide behind a computer screen and say whatever comes to mind, without apparent thought to decorum or tact.  Why is that ok? 
  • What part of "A CHILD IS NOT LEFT TO CRY MORE THAN 20 MINS" are some people missing?  CIO is NOT--I repeat NOT--about simply leaving your baby to scream all night while you just go to bed.  C'mon, Ladies--you can't really think any mommy in here would really do that?!?!  Over
    and over I'm reading how "cruel" it is to leave baby to "scream
    redfaced," or "ignore" the baby, when it's been stated over and over and
    over and over that that's not what any mommy or article posted is suggesting.
      Why not take the blinders off and READ what's written if you're going to comment on something?  Or, if the notion of CIO is just so offensive that you cannot possibly respond in a civil manner, just don't comment.  This is not a debate group, and while I do sometimes enjoy debate and deep discussion, calling another mother cruel and heartless and then telling her your don't care what she thinks about that is not  discussion or debate.
      True discussion is reasonable, not personal.  True debate uses facts and sources, not personal opinion.   

I know I'll probably catch all kinds of hell for this, but it seems strange for many mommies, if they disagree with your decision to employ CIO, you're a heartless and selfish b**ch, but if they disagree with your decision to cosleep, well that may just "not be for everyone."  I truly don't understand the level of rancor for CIO.  I'm not on this forum all that often, so maybe I'm missing something.

For the record, I employed CIO with my oldest, but not with my younger two.  The reasons are because (A) Just because one method worked for one child doesn't mean it will work (or even should be tried) with all my kids, and (B) my younger two haven't needed to CIO--they both slept really well from the get-go (my 4 1/2 mo is already sleeping 7 hrs most nights), and seemed born knowing how to get themselves to sleep and put themselves back to sleep without fussing for me to put them back down (THAT, incidently is the point of CIO).  My older child knows that I love her, is an excellent sleeper (has been since a mere 2 days after employing CIO), and is a fabulous, smart, and well-behaved 7 year old.  I'm not heartless, cruel, or selfish.  And I will say that if the younger two needed to learn to soothe themselves, I would do CIO again with no compunction, guilt, or shame. 

One thing I would never do is cosleep.  I don't judge any other mommy here, if that's the choice she's made.  I don't think she's weird or nutty.  Nor do I think her kids will grow up to be wimps or sociopaths.  And I wouldn't rush to post such crap, either.  I simply think she made the choice she thinks is best for her and her fam, and because she's making it work for her, her kids will turn out just fine.  No big.  

See how easy that is?  Now why can't the CIO mommies be given the same respect?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mandapanda82
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:05 PM
You're my hero:)

Quoting newmama012006:

Sheesh.  Someone lets their kid CIO and out come the pitchforks.  LOL  Odd how nasty some mommies get with their opinions on CIO.  I wonder if those same mommies are this nasty when they differ in opinions on other issues as well, or is it just this one?  Hmmm.  Anyhoo.....  Here's what I don't understand:

  • Why are we so quick to jump all over another mommy over their opinion?  One thing that drives me nuts with women in general--and this only got worse when I became a mommy--is that we are SO FRIGGIN' QUICK to judge one another.  And it's even worse with CM, because we can hide behind a computer screen and say whatever comes to mind, without apparent thought to decorum or tact.  Why is that ok? 
  • What part of "A CHILD IS NOT LEFT TO CRY MORE THAN 20 MINS" are some people missing?  CIO is NOT--I repeat NOT--about simply leaving your baby to scream all night while you just go to bed.  C'mon, Ladies--you can't really think any mommy in here would really do that?!?!  Over
    and over I'm reading how "cruel" it is to leave baby to "scream
    redfaced," or "ignore" the baby, when it's been stated over and over and
    over and over that that's not what any mommy or article posted is suggesting.
      Why not take the blinders off and READ what's written if you're going to comment on something?  Or, if the notion of CIO is just so offensive that you cannot possibly respond in a civil manner, just don't comment.  This is not a debate group, and while I do sometimes enjoy debate and deep discussion, calling another mother cruel and heartless and then telling her your don't care what she thinks about that is not  discussion or debate.
      True discussion is reasonable, not personal.  True debate uses facts and sources, not personal opinion.   

I know I'll probably catch all kinds of hell for this, but it seems strange for many mommies, if they disagree with your decision to employ CIO, you're a heartless and selfish b**ch, but if they disagree with your decision to cosleep, well that may just "not be for everyone."  I truly don't understand the level of rancor for CIO.  I'm not on this forum all that often, so maybe I'm missing something.

For the record, I employed CIO with my oldest, but not with my younger two.  The reasons are because (A) Just because one method worked for one child doesn't mean it will work (or even should be tried) with all my kids, and (B) my younger two haven't needed to CIO--they both slept really well from the get-go (my 4 1/2 mo is already sleeping 7 hrs most nights), and seemed born knowing how to get themselves to sleep and put themselves back to sleep without fussing for me to put them back down (THAT, incidently is the point of CIO).  My older child knows that I love her, is an excellent sleeper (has been since a mere 2 days after employing CIO), and is a fabulous, smart, and well-behaved 7 year old.  I'm not heartless, cruel, or selfish.  And I will say that if the younger two needed to learn to soothe themselves, I would do CIO again with no compunction, guilt, or shame. 

One thing I would never do is cosleep.  I don't judge any other mommy here, if that's the choice she's made.  I don't think she's weird or nutty.  Nor do I think her kids will grow up to be wimps or sociopaths.  And I wouldn't rush to post such crap, either.  I simply think she made the choice she thinks is best for her and her fam, and because she's making it work for her, her kids will turn out just fine.  No big.  

See how easy that is?  Now why can't the CIO mommies be given the same respect?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SewingMamaLele
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:32 PM

I largely agree with you... I would never CIO my own kids, but I know that none of us are perfect and that consequences can happen as a result of anyones choices... you can't avoid everything.

That all said... as for the underlined, A. 20 minutes is a HECK of a long time for a baby.  and B. You hear all the time about a baby crying for longer than 20 minutes.... if you're going in every 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes... that's 35 minutes right there!   And some parents do just lay them down and leave them there for hours.   YOU may not... but parents do, and they do it because the "experts" tell them to. 

This is totally not "proof" of anything... and I honestly don't know the difference between methods beyond ferber and ezzoo.... but just saying people do it.  Found this on: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/how-long-to-cry-it-out/



Quote:

I have tried the Sleep Lady Shuffle method of Sleep Training. It is supposed to be more gentle. But I have to say that it did not work for my 7 month old. After a month of being fully committed to it, bed time became much better (only 20 minutes of intense crying) but night time wakings were and remain to be horrible. The training was intense and there were two weeks of hours and hours of crying per night. Three hours of crying was standard. I tried starting the method over, wondering if I missed something or I was too distracting when I was checking in on him. BUt it never got better.

I started to pick my son up again during night wakings a week ago because he had a cold and all the crying was leaving him with snot all over himself and the sheets. I felt terrible letting him cry when he was all stuffed up. To my great relief he fell asleep within minutes of walking and singing to him. However, now that he is feeling better, I tried to go back to the sleep training and he cried for 3 HOURS last night. (I checked in with him every 15 minutes with soothing words, a bum pat and gave him his softy froggy.) I finally went in and picked him up to calm him. I can’t believe I have to go in and retrain him after the cold. I can’t believe he cried for three hours again after having “learned to put himself to sleep.” I just think with some kids sleep training does not work. I hear moms sing the praises of CIO, and I tried to be tough and consistant hoping it would be successful if I did the methods to the letter, but still my son cries for hours. I guess I have to find some middle ground. Something that helps him learn to put himself back to sleep if he wakes but that does not involve so much crying.

BTW the Sleep Lady says that the only times CIO does not work is if parents aren’t consistant or if marriages are rocky. Ha! No mention that some kids just can;t be trained.


Quoting newmama012006:

Sheesh.  Someone lets their kid CIO and out come the pitchforks.  LOL  Odd how nasty some mommies get with their opinions on CIO.  I wonder if those same mommies are this nasty when they differ in opinions on other issues as well, or is it just this one?  Hmmm.  Anyhoo.....  Here's what I don't understand:

  • Why are we so quick to jump all over another mommy over their opinion?  One thing that drives me nuts with women in general--and this only got worse when I became a mommy--is that we are SO FRIGGIN' QUICK to judge one another.  And it's even worse with CM, because we can hide behind a computer screen and say whatever comes to mind, without apparent thought to decorum or tact.  Why is that ok? 
  • What part of "A CHILD IS NOT LEFT TO CRY MORE THAN 20 MINS" are some people missing?  CIO is NOT--I repeat NOT--about simply leaving your baby to scream all night while you just go to bed.  C'mon, Ladies--you can't really think any mommy in here would really do that?!?!  Over and over I'm reading how "cruel" it is to leave baby to "scream redfaced," or "ignore" the baby, when it's been stated over and over and over and over that that's not what any mommy or article posted is suggesting.  Why not take the blinders off and READ what's written if you're going to comment on something?  Or, if the notion of CIO is just so offensive that you cannot possibly respond in a civil manner, just don't comment.  This is not a debate group, and while I do sometimes enjoy debate and deep discussion, calling another mother cruel and heartless and then telling her your don't care what she thinks about that is not  discussion or debate.  True discussion is reasonable, not personal.  True debate uses facts and sources, not personal opinion.   

I know I'll probably catch all kinds of hell for this, but it seems strange for many mommies, if they disagree with your decision to employ CIO, you're a heartless and selfish b**ch, but if they disagree with your decision to cosleep, well that may just "not be for everyone."  I truly don't understand the level of rancor for CIO.  I'm not on this forum all that often, so maybe I'm missing something.

For the record, I employed CIO with my oldest, but not with my younger two.  The reasons are because (A) Just because one method worked for one child doesn't mean it will work (or even should be tried) with all my kids, and (B) my younger two haven't needed to CIO--they both slept really well from the get-go (my 4 1/2 mo is already sleeping 7 hrs most nights), and seemed born knowing how to get themselves to sleep and put themselves back to sleep without fussing for me to put them back down (THAT, incidently is the point of CIO).  My older child knows that I love her, is an excellent sleeper (has been since a mere 2 days after employing CIO), and is a fabulous, smart, and well-behaved 7 year old.  I'm not heartless, cruel, or selfish.  And I will say that if the younger two needed to learn to soothe themselves, I would do CIO again with no compunction, guilt, or shame. 

One thing I would never do is cosleep.  I don't judge any other mommy here, if that's the choice she's made.  I don't think she's weird or nutty.  Nor do I think her kids will grow up to be wimps or sociopaths.  And I wouldn't rush to post such crap, either.  I simply think she made the choice she thinks is best for her and her fam, and because she's making it work for her, her kids will turn out just fine.  No big.  

See how easy that is?  Now why can't the CIO mommies be given the same respect?


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