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Advice? Daughter cries every time SO holds her.. :(

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:01 PM
  • 16 Replies

My boyfriend/her father has been making a monumental effort to try and get closer to our daughter lately. Changing extra diapies, trying to soothe her when she cries/is hungry and I am busy for a few minutes, picking her up to play when she is sitting. And it is so upsetting to see the frustration brewing in his eyes when he often has to eventually put her down or hand her back to me.


It seems like every time he tries to hold her, she starts to cry. He has even started cooing back at her and attempting to talk to her and play with her, and she just doesn't seem to warm up to him unless she falls asleep on him.


It's so frustrating and exhausting..I can't leave the house without coming back to a screaming baby. Any advice or experience ladies?

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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
emkirkley
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:23 PM

Maybe she senses his apprehension?  Maybe you could wear one of his shirts and then give it to him to wear when you leave so she can still smell you and start to warm up to him?  Keep trying...My middle child didn't want ME, she liked men, in particular my husband and my father, she only wanted me when it was time to nurse.

abra
by Abra on Feb. 20, 2013 at 4:40 PM
This is a good idea. She'll adjust. Just keep trying.

Quoting emkirkley:

Maybe she senses his apprehension?  Maybe you could wear one of his shirts and then give it to him to wear when you leave so she can still smell you and start to warm up to him?  Keep trying...My middle child didn't want ME, she liked men, in particular my husband and my father, she only wanted me when it was time to nurse.

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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:36 PM

 Bump!

bebe_ju-rah
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:38 PM
We deal with the same problem and did with dd as well. In our experience it will pass.
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LongBeachLiz
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:38 PM
How old?
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lauratupper
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 9:10 AM

It's because he's not mom. Mom is the most important to a young baby and it's normal for a baby to not "like" anyone else. I know it's frustrating but just keep trying, she'll warm up to him evetually. Tell him to try and be relaxed, babies are very senstive to stress, so if he is stressing about it, she will know and it will upset her more.

angela.bouchard
by Angela on Feb. 21, 2013 at 9:54 AM

I think it will pass.

emilyelephant
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:43 AM

Is she afraid of him? Like has he changed his appearance? My friend's son is afraid of beards, and I mean even a little stubble lol

Our DD sometimes becomes so upset he has to give her to me.  Give it time, SO didn't do much with her until she was about 3 months when she started smiling and laughing and now he's a lot  more comfortable and doesn't have that nervous vibe.

aimhawk
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:56 AM

Just keep trying. DS was this way with DH/his daddy for the longest time. I always had to make sure he was down for a nap before I could leave and usually I would get "hurry up" phone calls while gone. It took a few months, but now he is a Daddy's boy!

Baby_Avas_Momma
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:58 AM
It's normal and it passes :)
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