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NO IDEA what I'm doing! Help!

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I have one month-old twin boys. I'm sure this is old news to all established moms, but literally all they've done for the last four weeks is eat, sleep, poop, cry, sleep, and cry.

I expected this, obviously. But I have no idea if I'm doing this right. When they cry and chew on their hands or otherwise signal hunger, DH and I feed them. They almost always fall asleep during feedings, so we wake them up with a diaper change so they'll finish their bottle. Then they're out cold again, so we put them to bed most of the time, because my mom said that they need to learn that their cribs are for sleeping. During the day, sometimes I'll put them out in the living room instead, in their swing/bouncy seat/etc to give them some "social time", even though they almost always just sleep there too.

Am I supposed to be doing something different? I feel awful that all we do is feed them and put them back to bed. During feedings we interact with them if they're alert, and any other time they're alert, we'll sit and hold them and talk to them and make faces. I sing to them at night before "bedtime" (I use the term loosely lol). But it feels wrong that there's nothing else to our sad excuse for a routine. Should we be playing with them? Doing something other than what we're doing at their age?

What did you do with your one month-old baby? What about two months?

by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:40 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:50 AM

 i think you're doing great too.not much to do with lil ones at 1st.i always let mine sleep in the swing or bouncy in  the living room,where i could keep a close eye on them,during the day.since i bf, we co-slept.before you know it they'll be all over the place.lol.

by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:51 AM

Sounds about right.

If they stop eating mid-feeding, you can also try to stroke their cheek it will stimulate the sucking reflex.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:52 AM
I have twin boys. Sounds like you're doing awesome!
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by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:52 AM

Quoting lauratupper:

That all sounds pretty normal to me for their age. I don't think you are doing anything wrong, as they get older they'll be awake more and want to play more. But at this age sleeping and eating is the norm.

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by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:54 AM

yup its the time of the sleep :).....thats all they will do for the first month and some change...maybe by 2 months old they will be a little more alert but really, they just need to be fed, changed and ready to sleep again.  

It may be a little more pressure because there are two of them.  You are doing just fine.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Your doing a great job I have twins also 2 older ds and this might bum u out but it doesn't get easier. My twins are 4 and I can say when they  turned 3 it was easier because they could play with each other.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:14 AM

You are doing fine!! Hugs mama and congrats!!!

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:15 AM

at this age, it's prefectly normal for them to be in a routine where all they want to do to is eat and sleep. that's how they grow; by sleeping.

just let them sleep. and take advantage of them sleeping; sleep when they sleep. you'll need it since you are dealing with twins.


trust me, when they get older, they won't sleep as much and then you might wish they were newborns again, lol!!

you aren't doing anything wrong.

my SO loves our son, and he interacts with our son when he's home from work but I could tell, when our son was a newborn, that my SO was bored with our son because all our son ever wanted to do was eat, poop and sleep.

But now that Sam is almost 8 months, he's more fun for my SO and my SO can finally interact with Sam because Sam doesn't sleep as much as he did when he was first born.

it's a stage that they quickly grow out of.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Relax, mama... at 4 weeks, they really are doing a whole lot of sleeping, eating and pooping...

Check out "Dunstan Baby Language".  You can google it.  I happened to see it on Oprah or something right after the babies came, and it really did make sense and help a lot the first three months.  It basically says that all babies have 5 sounds that communicate their needs, up to around 3 months.  Hey, it really did seem to work for us.  At 0-3 months, all they really know is hungry, tired, and uncomfortable.  If they are crying, one of those things is going on.  One of my twins had reflux, so we had a LOT of experience with discomfort.

What we did... we had a crib in the nursery, and a pack-and-play (and a swing) in the living room.  I would put them there during the day.  Reflux boy LOVED the swing- he would swing all day all night if we let him.  Twin sister, not so much so.

When they were awake, we would hold them, talk to them, sing, all that goofy baby stuff.  When they got tired, they went to sleep... when they got hungry, we fed them.

So long as you are attending to their needs, responding to their cries (babies this young do not cry just to cry- if they are crying, something is wrong), and interacting with them/stimulating them when they are awake, you are doing fine.  I am sure you are exhausted... I know I was.

One tip- get them on the same feeding schedule.  When you feed one, feed the other at the same time.  This is the ONLY way you will get any rest.  Invest in two boppy pillows, sit on the floor or on the couch, with one pillow on either side.  Position the babies in the pillows in whatever position is most comfortable for all of you, and you can hold both bottles, keep an eye on both babies, talk to them both at the same time, and get all the feeding done at once.  Burp, clean diaper, and ready to sleep in half the time.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:32 AM

Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job.  Trust your mommy gut and you will never go wrong.  Don't worry what other babies or mommies are doing.  Every person is different babies and moms alike. 

Congratulations on your twins!  Enjoy these moments of peace and quiet very soon you will be begging for them.  Good Luck!

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