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Do you have any of your own friends?

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:10 PM
  • 16 Replies

Last year all of my good friends moved away, so now I don't have any friends in town and the only people I know are family and SO's friends. We had a date night last night, and after dinner went to have a drink. SO ran into at least 5 of his friends, and standing there listening to them talk it just hit me really hard that I don't have any of my own friends anymore and it made me miss it so much. I'll admit that I am an introvert and relatively shy so I don't make friends easily, but I miss having girlfriends and having someone other than SO to talk to. Since it has actually been brought to my attention more, I don't know how to be ok with not having my own friends right now. I like SO's friends and have made friends with some of them, but they aren't MY friends (and none of them women), so it just doesn't feel like the same thing.

slapping forehead




by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
abra
by Abra on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:44 PM

I do, but I had to work at it. I'm an introvert, too. I found some ladies who I really like a lot and just started scheduling stuff to do together. Now all 3 of us (couples) get along great and its a lot of fun! 

mamabear1111
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:51 PM
I have 1 female who I can trust enough to call my friend other than that I hang out with my so..my brother and their friends, all men! They're definitely good for some laughs but when it comes to mommy stuff or emotions I'm alone.....it kinda sucks but I guess I've gotten used to it
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Miller_Mama
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:55 PM
i dont have any friends, after i had my daughter they left my life and i moved to a new town last year to be with my fiance and so i definantly dont know anyone...it sucks cuz i cant just call a friend to chat or to hangout with...make me feel lonely at times =/
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channa89
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 7:20 PM
I have one friend that's not family. we through work, but it's hard for me to meet people cause I'm an introvert, I'm hoping to meet some mommies so I'll have people who can relate to what I'm dealing with/going through
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acook0331
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 7:50 PM

I haven't had friends in years.

lovin.my.boys
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 7:56 PM

All of my friends are either family or my husband's friends, although some of them are now closer to being my friends than his. LOL! I've tried making friends with some of the moms in my son's class but I am pretty shy as well so it hasn't turned out that well.

pregnancy calendar

Baby #3 on the way!!!

mandapanda82
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:37 PM
Same..:(

Quoting acook0331:

I haven't had friends in years.

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mandapanda82
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:42 PM
Actually both So and I don't have friends! We both moved to this area not so long ago so we didnt grow up here or go to high school in the area so we don't have any of our HS friends or childhood friends around. And even back home I never had many, I am introverted as well and it's hard for me to make good friends. I figure when older dd starts kindergarten in fall maybe we can meet some parents and that'll be a way to make some friends... But ya I totally relate, it sucks
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SewingMamaLele
by Silver Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:50 PM
I have a great deal of friends! Probably 5-6 thatare really close, and another 10 or so that are good friends.. And then a bunch of women I know through school and playgroup. Just get out there! I met moms through playgroup, LLL, school, little league, etc... Find a group to do a weekly walk with... That's a great way to get to know people. Meetup.com is great!
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alliesaurus
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 9:01 PM

I moved in June. I have made one of my own friends since then & hubby and I have become friends with a couple. He works with the guy. They were gone June- September for work so the wife and I started hanging out alot and have become close...but we usually only hang out and talk while the men are gone or as couples. They are fun to hang out with, but its not the type of friendship I would call her if I were upset or in need. My other one friend I met in thearea i met because I googled moms in my area here on Cafemom! I asked her if she would meet at the park one day and she has become one of my very best firends ever and I can count on her often!

I still keep in touch with alot of my friend from where we live although, its very touch and go. I have about 2 friends who I would cosider my best friends and they are long distance. We still call eachother in the morning or at night and talk like every other day or so.

We definitely have more family friends and friends who are couples than having solo friends...

I honestly don't have time to keep up more than just the 4 or 5 good ones I have on top of all of my family! It takes alot of work to keep up with relationships and I just don't have the time to put in hours and get pedicures or have coffee alone like I used to. I think that my days of having friends that are only mine are as gone as the time that I have spend alone...because even IF I did have the opportunity to go out or do things with friends anymore, I would really just rather sit alone in a bathtub or sit alone on my porch with a cup of tea and a magazine and enjoy the peace than feel like I have to keep up a converation with someone else lol. 

I feel like this is just a normal stage of the place I am in life. I am in family mode and friendships are just taking a backseat right now. I'm sure when my kids are older I may have more time to make friends and have girls night.

Do you really feel like you have the time and energy to maintain a friendship right now? Especially to make a new friend...that requires alot of getting out and hanging out and getting to know eachother....its tough...especially if they have kids and schedules of their own.

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