Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DS hates sleep...help

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:47 PM
  • 9 Replies

DS is 10.5 months old and has pretty much always been really difficult to get to sleep. He's a high needs baby and for the first several months he needed to be walked around, shushed, and patted to go to sleep for every naptime and bedtime. At first this didn't bother us, but now it's become utterly exhausting. It takes on average an hour to get him to sleep (sometimes two). Recently I tried laying him in his crib while patting him to sleep with a heartbeat sound on and it worked for about a week, but now it's not working. He keeps getting up to stand and cries, screams, flails his legs, anything to keep himself from falling asleep. He hardly ever naps for more than 30 minutes. His bedtime is 7pm and he wakes between 7-8am (with a few wakings to nurse). DH and I are so exhausted and frustrated. We've tried CIO but I just can't do it. It absolutely breaks my heart and that method really doesn't work with him. I've tried so many methods but nothing works. What should I do?

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:47 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
expectantmom81
by Erin on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:39 PM
Unfortunately my only suggestion would be the CIO. The way we did it was suggested by his doc and I can share it with you if you are interested.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CelestialSong
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Have you tried cosleeping? My daughter was the same way with sleep, right down to needing to be walked to sleep. The best way for all of us was to just sleep with her in bed with me. She sleeps much better next to me (I'm pregnant now and have been napping with her during the day, and when I do she sleeps up to 3 hours instead of her usual hour) and it's how we put a stop to the walking to sleep - I just laid her in bed and refused to pick her up. I was right there of course, rubbing and patting and singing and shushing and offering the breast, and eventually she settled down. I haven't walked her to sleep since she was 6 months old, and it was the best thing ever.

And I totally get that leaving him alone to CIO is not going to work. It wouldn't have worked with mine either, she just would have gotten so hysterical there's no way I could have left her.

beachlove512
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:52 PM

DH did CIO (I went in the other room and cried while it was going on) but it didn't work even after a week. DS just got increasingly hysterical and at one point got so tired from screaming, he was dozing off while sitting up. I feel like CIO is just way too stressful for him, especially since he's high needs. We even tried a more gentle method of CIO where we put him in his crib and stayed there with him while he cried, but that didn't work either.

Quoting expectantmom81:

Unfortunately my only suggestion would be the CIO. The way we did it was suggested by his doc and I can share it with you if you are interested.



beachlove512
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:57 PM

For naptimes we haven't co-slept (except in the very early days) but for bedtime we have from the beginning. It was fine for nighttime because we did get more sleep that way. However, I had to put a stop to the co-sleeping because DS went from waking once or twice a night to nurse to every two hours (sometimes every half hour to an hour). That caused a major disruption in sleep for all of us. By morning it would feel like I'd gotten no sleep at all. I was really hoping to get him to sleep in his crib without a fight every time. DH is worried if we continue to co-sleep DS will get too used to it and won't be able to sleep on his own. He doesn't want a toddler sleeping in the bed with us.


Quoting CelestialSong:

Have you tried cosleeping? My daughter was the same way with sleep, right down to needing to be walked to sleep. The best way for all of us was to just sleep with her in bed with me. She sleeps much better next to me (I'm pregnant now and have been napping with her during the day, and when I do she sleeps up to 3 hours instead of her usual hour) and it's how we put a stop to the walking to sleep - I just laid her in bed and refused to pick her up. I was right there of course, rubbing and patting and singing and shushing and offering the breast, and eventually she settled down. I haven't walked her to sleep since she was 6 months old, and it was the best thing ever.

And I totally get that leaving him alone to CIO is not going to work. It wouldn't have worked with mine either, she just would have gotten so hysterical there's no way I could have left her.



graycalico
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:41 AM
Sounds like my ds. Some kids just aren't great sleepers. Cosleeping works best for him but we aren't sleeping a lot still at 18 months. My dd coslept and transitioned to her own space just fine.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lauratupper
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:30 AM

bump!

Eliots_momma
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:25 AM
We Co sleep and it is a sanity saver for us.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
YzmaRocks
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:39 PM
My first was like this. I tried everything with him and nothing worked. He didn't sleep through the night until 2.5 years old. He woke every night screaming, usually several times. In his case, he is autistic, has sensory problems, and had food sensitivities on top of all that. Once we finally figured out that he couldn't have gluten or dairy, he immediately started sleeping. Seriously, it was 24 hours later and he actually slept through the night for the first time. He still wakes at night occasionally at almost 5 but his sleeping is much better.

So, a couple questions. Obviously not every high needs baby is autistic or has sensory problems but have you tried keeping the lights low, no loud noises (no TV), and a calm environment in general? Could he possibly have food sensitivities or allergies? Does he have a consistent routine?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
beachlove512
by Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:16 PM

Yes, we keep it very dark and quiet for sleeping. His crib is in our room but we keep the lights off and there's no tv in there. It could be darker for naptimes though since the light filters in, but it really doesn't seem to matter if it's light or dark in the room. He does seem to be sensitive to sound for instance sounds like the vacuum, blender, mixer, etc. make him cry. Idk if that's normal or not for a baby? He's a very light sleeper (like DH) and I have to tiptoe around when he sleeps.

Idk if he has food allergies/sensitivities. I have celiac so I don't consume gluten and neither does he as a precaution. I suppose dairy, eggs, nuts, or something else could be causing problems but I would think it would manifest itself in other ways and not just interfere with sleep. Did your son show any signs of food sensitivities other than sleep issues?

DS does have a consistent routine: bath, then pajamas, then breastfeed, then bed at 7pm. It's been that way for months now. I've at least lucked out in the past few days and he's been nursing to sleep easily BUT he still won't nap for more than 20-30 minutes.

Quoting YzmaRocks:

My first was like this. I tried everything with him and nothing worked. He didn't sleep through the night until 2.5 years old. He woke every night screaming, usually several times. In his case, he is autistic, has sensory problems, and had food sensitivities on top of all that. Once we finally figured out that he couldn't have gluten or dairy, he immediately started sleeping. Seriously, it was 24 hours later and he actually slept through the night for the first time. He still wakes at night occasionally at almost 5 but his sleeping is much better.

So, a couple questions. Obviously not every high needs baby is autistic or has sensory problems but have you tried keeping the lights low, no loud noises (no TV), and a calm environment in general? Could he possibly have food sensitivities or allergies? Does he have a consistent routine?



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)