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So I recieved my dna results in the mail and found out that my sons father is in prison for meth and this last weekend my dad calls me when i was out of town saying that I got a letter in the mail from my ex and the letter said that he wants to be in his sons life once he gets out, obvisously hes been planning stuff since he actually found out thhat he has another child...but hes going to miss a year and a half of our sons life....the question is what should I do....ibwant him to be in his child life and want him to see his child...but is it wrong for me to say to my ex if he doesnt pay child support or dont have a job and if he doesn't stay off the drugs he wont be able to see our son? We have court next month....
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:12 PM
Replies (11-18):
teenmom2012164
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:46 PM
Yeah thats true....I want him clean and pay his child support on time


Quoting momof3sc2012:

I have went through something like this with my daughter and her father I wouldn't let him see the child till he can clean up his life a bit if he is in prison for meth then I surely wouldn't want my child around that kind of environment and since he help make the child I don't think it would be bad to ask for child support and if he really wants to be in the child's life he will want to clean up his life and try to get a job , well that is my opinion on it . Hope things work out with whatever you choose to do :)

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teenmom2012164
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:47 PM
Thanks


Quoting la_bella_vita:

 Good luck in court


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Zazayam
by Nicki on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Good luck in court :)

I would ask for a drug test stipulation to any visitation. Child support and job and all that's up to you, but there's no way I would want my kids around a meth addict.

IrishIz
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:14 PM

Child support and child visitation/custody are 2 different things...and should remain that way.  Parent should pay for support if they see child or not.  Parent with child should allow other parent to see child paying or not.

That being said...drugs are an issue and would be grounds for supervised visitation until parent is clean.

teenmom2012164
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 11:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Thats exsctly how I feel and thanks


Quoting Zazayam:

Good luck in court :)

I would ask for a drug test stipulation to any visitation. Child support and job and all that's up to you, but there's no way I would want my kids around a meth addict.


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alandou
by April on Apr. 7, 2013 at 3:54 AM

There's no way I would let a guy like that be in my child's life. I don't care if he is the dad. He's not a positive influence for my child. I would go on living my life and taking care of my son the best I could and not even think about the guy in prison. I also understand situations change and people change but even if he said he was giving that lifestyle up to be in his son's life, he'll have to prove it. Paying child support would be a start because then it shows he can hold a job and he's willing to support his son. That's the way I see it, anyways.

chcon
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 4:24 AM
If you put his name on your son's birth certificate, he has rights to be the father. I agree with the other ladies, however, regarding him being clean and able to help support the child before allowed visitation, hopefully courts will agree as well.
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CLEKate
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:10 AM

I don't think it's fair that he can't see his child if he doesn't pay child support or have a job.  Raising a child is not about the money---it's about the time.  A SAHM doesn't provide financially for a child...but they provide other types of support.  It is quite possible that his father may provide something non-financial at the start.

I do agree that he should be off drugs.

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