I have no desire to have sex anymore and I hate when he tries to initiate it. I'm always so tired and get mad that he doesn't help more often. He works at 6pm and is off by 9pm. I see no reason why I have to do everything. I barely get time to paint my nails, shower or go for a 30minute jog and the house never gets cleaned properly unless I do it. I feel like I'm sinking into this "mommy" identity and loosing myself. My outfits are coordinated around whats easiest to breastfeed in, I have to make all plans around the babies schedule and I just don't know how to adjust to being mommy and Cassie.
I find myself super agitated and my husband and I argue constantly(away from baby of course). I don't feel the happiness and love I used to feel with him. I feel like I'm stuck in this role of doing the same thing day after day. Nothing is ever different. I was on anti anxiety meds before conception and haven't been back to my doctor since going birth to get a breastfeeding safe script. Maybe that's my issue? Anxiety? We are not making bills anymore because my husband works only 3hr days and I took 3 months maternity leave and I was the one making the majority of the money.
I find myself resenting him for that too. Not getting a better job to help support the family he promised to support before I put in for the full 3 months. He has spending habits that I can't control and goes through money like it grows on trees. I
I feel like none of my friends understand what it's like to hate the way you look and be so overwhelmed by being a first time parent and feeling like you're stinking at it. I just need support and need to know that someone out there is going through or has gone through the same thing:(