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Advice Needed: How do I forgive my SO for originally wanting me...

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:02 AM
  • 129 Replies
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How do I forgive my SO for originally wanting me to have an abortion? I gave him an out but he stayed. He is an amazing dad and loves our DD. He said some harsh things to me during pregnancy and I don't know how to reconcile that with the devoted father he is now. I want to move past, but how?

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
acook0331
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:14 AM
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It may not be an easy thing for you to do. Have you talked to him about your feelings? You may need counseling so that you have a mediator there. Good luck!

treasure1212
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Have you tried talking about it . And maybe explaining how it made you feel and getting a serious apology? . Or if you can't do that then try counseling ? Sometimes things are said that a person doesn't necessarilly mean but at that moment they don't know how to react . My df and I dated for 6 weeks when I found out we were 4 weeks pregnant. He didn't say anything bad to me but I know it was unexpected for both of us and I didn't know how to feel till after I found out how he felt . But every thing worked out for us . For him the initial shock took a few days to sink in . But then he became super excited and was a great partner and is now a great father to our dd and my ds.
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Slayton723
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:16 AM
1 mom liked this
Ivw often asked myself the same question but to myself. I said some aweful things while i was pregnant that i still can't forgive myself for. Especially when i look at my perfect beautiful baby girl and all i can hear us my words ringing in my ears. It's not an easy thing to do.
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Salem2012
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:53 AM

That is really hard it's not something you get over so easily.

chcon
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:54 AM
12 moms liked this
He's obviously gotten past it, whatever his reasoning was before, it is different now. Talk to him if you must, but honestly, the forgiving part is all you - it is something you have to do, with or without talking to him. The choice is really yours. Forgiveness is for the forgive-ee more than the forgiven.
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Snowpuma
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:58 AM
Find a safe time place to talk your feelings out. Maybe a counselor or therapy and bring DH at a later time? Don't stuff these feelings just try....even if you have to write it out to sort your feelings.((hugs))
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lauratupper
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:37 PM


Quoting acook0331:

It may not be an easy thing for you to do. Have you talked to him about your feelings? You may need counseling so that you have a mediator there. Good luck!




la_bella_vita
by Bella on Apr. 23, 2013 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 ((hugs)) I've never been in that position. If you feel you truly can't let go, counseling would be helpful. You don't want resentment to build up.

MzShorty787
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:10 PM
I don't really hv advice but I respect that u want to bury the hatchet so to say. Good luck sweetie and congrats. :)
notjstanothrmom
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this
You have to try and remember what it's like to be childless. The love you feel for your child the moment its born is a billion times more than you think. Many people panic and get scared... I think its normal. He has since stepped up. You have to keep in mind what feelings you have before a child and then dilute it because men don't carry them and don't have our instincts.
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