I wish you hadn't removed your post, but I understand. I'm so happy for all these women who live in this fantasy world where they can stay at home with their perfect children and their perfect husbands and judge the rest of us like we are trash.
Really though, I'm sorry you're having problems with your little one. I have the oposite problem...I don't do well with strangers and my youngling attracts them! That said, I always try to hide my insecurity and make conversation with the newcomers. I also try to keep my daughter around people. When people I know comment on her, I hand her off, I encourage her to play with them and jabber with them. I don't want her to grow up to be like me (I was one of those kids who didn't do well with strangers and I NEVER stayed anywhere over night...I will be the first to admit I'm not a well adjusted adult). As she gets older, we'll start working on stranger danger and all of that, but right now she's never anywhere without me or my parents.
My point, could your anxiety over your baby's reactions be encouraging bad reactions? It's kinda backwards, but it's all I have to go off of...but I know with my animals (my only children until 7 months ago!), if I am uneasy or nervous they pick up on that and act that way. My daughter seems to be the same way...when I'm stressing, she's stressing and I have to remove her from the situation (send her to my parents for a bit) so I can get myself back in order. Anyway, something to look at/observe. Good luck! I also read that sometimes using a favorite toy as a distraction can help.