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Not sure how to respond to this

Posted by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:58 PM
  • 19 Replies


so my husbands grandma came up to me at church when someone was talking to me about our sons upcoming heart surgery and she said in a very rude comment, dont feel sorry or pity for eli dont even worry if you want to worry about any child go to a childrens cancer ward there are children there they need someone to worry about them.

i just looked at her and couldnt even open my mouth if was so rude and hurtful, i just wanted to cry. she also thinks shes a know it all. the guy was saying how long they think his recovery will be and i told him it depends on his ability to swollow after the tubes that were in his throat because the dr told me that in babies this young they lose there ability to swollow and he just needs to learn again. she said no they dont its called sore throat he will be fine and the drs dont know what they are talking about after that i just walked away and told my husband i wanted to leave. she really hurt my feelings she has never been that rude to me and uncaring especially to her great grandson

Like my baby boys CHD awareness page https://www.facebook.com/CHDEliasPierceStory

by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
veganistic
by Member on May. 4, 2013 at 10:00 PM
2 moms liked this
Aww that's terrible. Is she very old? Uncharacteristic nastiness is a sign of dementia :/
Narwa
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:02 PM

thats what my husbands mom thinks but then again she treated my mother in law this way when she married my father in law and now my mother in law says shes treating me this way

larissalarie
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Maybe she's minimizing the seriousness of his condition so she's not so scared. It's not at all uncommon to do this as a way of coping. Sharing it could have been her attempt at easing your worry some. I'd let it go and give her the benefit of the doubt.

I wouldn't choose to be hurt/offended over it however she means it. That only hurts yourself, not the person who said it.
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Michelleg-31
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:07 PM
Wow, that was awful of her! That is her great grandson she should be the one to support him and you. Heart surgery is a big deal. Have you had problems with her saying rude comments before? My feelings would of been hurt too.

I hope little one's surgery goes well♥
nicole2884
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:08 PM

what the hell is wrong with her , im sorry thats crazy , i swear old people think they have license to run their mouths 

preacherskid
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:16 PM

DH's parents do that frequently as a way of coping with his disability, his father more so than his mother.  It is their way of denying things are as bad as they are- FIL still thinks that if DH just worked harder and did physical therapy, took less medicine, he would be able to walk again.  Let it roll off- she doesn't know, she doesn't live it, you do.  You are doing what is right for your son's health, and that is all that matters- she's either in serious denial or a nasty miserable old woman, whose opinion means nothing to you.  

Good wishes with recovery!

Narwa
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:33 PM

ty


expectantmom81
by Erin on May. 4, 2013 at 10:56 PM
Yup exactly with age comes rudeness in a lot of people. I'm so sorry she was so rude. Prayers for your daughters surgery and recovery.


Quoting nicole2884:

what the hell is wrong with her , im sorry thats crazy , i swear old people think they have license to run their mouths 


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Narwa
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:58 PM

its my sons recovery and surgery but ty and yea she was just so rude

Quoting expectantmom81:

Yup exactly with age comes rudeness in a lot of people. I'm so sorry she was so rude. Prayers for your daughters surgery and recovery.


Quoting nicole2884:

what the hell is wrong with her , im sorry thats crazy , i swear old people think they have license to run their mouths 



Like my baby boys CHD awareness page https://www.facebook.com/CHDEliasPierceStory

Ptitchou
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 11:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Preface this with: I'm not telling you how to feel. Seeing your baby through any hardship, and any size surgery is a terrible thing for a parent.

My son had a few. We were feeling all upset by it (we should have, no doubt) but realized that we were in fact blessed. My son's roommate was celebrating her first birthday in the upcoming days while we were there. She'd never been home yet. We then felt like our worries were small. BUT stil very very valid.

Perhaps Grama chose poorly her words in an attempt for perspective. But I'd have been taken aback too. How rude!!!
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