Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Babies Babies

I feel like I can't take care of him /:

Posted by on May. 9, 2013 at 8:25 AM
  • 28 Replies
Carter is 16 days old, and he's a wonderful baby. He only cries when he's hungry or getting a diaper change. Despite that, I really feel like I'm failing him. I get so frustrated with him, and I know that's horrible /: I'm just so scared of him anymore. I feel like running away, but I don't want to leave him... It's complicated, I don't know.

Anyone else going through this?
by on May. 9, 2013 at 8:25 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Amberleigh81
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 9:15 AM
2 moms liked this
You sound like you may have the "baby blues" or PPD. It's really common for it to peak around 2 weeks PP... the "high" from birth has worn off, visitors/helpers are leaving, etc...

Do you have girlfriends or your mom who you can talk to? Can you make an appointment to see your child's pediatrician? They can help you get through this...

These feelings are normal, but if you feel like abandoning/ harming your baby, you need to get to the doctor ASAP. These feelings are caused by hormones, but you might need treatment to help you get over them.
anxiousschk
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 9:18 AM

Talk to your care provider.  OB, midwife.  

Constantly remind yourself that this will pass.  It will.  You may need help for it to happen, but it will get better.  

Yes, it sounds like baby blues or PPD.  This is why I suggest you talk to your care provider.  He/she will be able to best determine what's going on.  

motamaid
by on May. 9, 2013 at 9:20 AM
I felt that way for several weeks with my third child who is now 3 mos old. Talk to your OB also and find a support group or get medicated if you need it. I was able to ride it through with telling myself to push away the yucky thoughts and feelings but it was hard as hell. You might be able to talk yourself out of the feelings. Calm . com is a good site to visit.
emilyelephant
by on May. 9, 2013 at 9:26 AM

It's ok. I is really frustrating at first, and newborns are unpredictable. By the time she was a month old I felt like we had settled and I knew what she wanted. It's definitely normal. Don't hesitate to reach out to others, or your doctor if you feel overwhelmed.

jhslove
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Not anymore, but I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. You're dealing with what is easily the biggest adjustment in life, and on top of that you're healing from childbirth and dealing with hormones that are completely out of control. The post-partum period was VERY difficult for me. I was depressed and I had a lot of the same feelings of fear, frustration and just wanting to run away that you describe. It WILL get better. Just take it day to day and focus on caring for his immediate physical needs and giving him as much love as possible. Don't wory about anything else. The suggestion from PPs to talk to your doctor or midwife is a good one. If you have post-partum depression, it's nothing to be ashamed of, but there are resources that can help you feel better.

What frustrates you? Is it the crying? Does he cry a lot?

Loveavision
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 10:12 AM
He doesn't really, but when he does I can't handle it. It's the lack of sleep(for him and I both) and the guilt of still being so far from going to work so I purposely make his dad sleep at night and I take care of him(his dad offers, it's my own fault) and I'm just worn out. I have NO help or any company all day while he's at work. I'm just lonely and miserable. I feel pathetic


Quoting jhslove:

Not anymore, but I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!


Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. You're dealing with what is easily the biggest adjustment in life, and on top of that you're healing from childbirth and dealing with hormones that are completely out of control. The post-partum period was VERY difficult for me. I was depressed and I had a lot of the same feelings of fear, frustration and just wanting to run away that you describe. It WILL get better. Just take it day to day and focus on caring for his immediate physical needs and giving him as much love as possible. Don't wory about anything else. The suggestion from PPs to talk to your doctor or midwife is a good one. If you have post-partum depression, it's nothing to be ashamed of, but there are resources that can help you feel better.


What frustrates you? Is it the crying? Does he cry a lot?


jhslove
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 10:16 AM

 This really, really sounds like hormones talking. I'd call your doc right away if I were you.

Also, find out if there's a new mom support group in your area. When my daughter was a newborn, the hospital where I delivered had a new-moms group on Mondays and a breastfeeding class on Wednesdays. I absolutely lived for those groups; sometimes they were the only adult interaction I had and they forced me to get out of the house. I don't know what I would have done without them.

What city are you in?


Quoting Loveavision:

He doesn't really, but when he does I can't handle it. It's the lack of sleep(for him and I both) and the guilt of still being so far from going to work so I purposely make his dad sleep at night and I take care of him(his dad offers, it's my own fault) and I'm just worn out. I have NO help or any company all day while he's at work. I'm just lonely and miserable. I feel pathetic


Quoting jhslove:

Not anymore, but I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!


Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. You're dealing with what is easily the biggest adjustment in life, and on top of that you're healing from childbirth and dealing with hormones that are completely out of control. The post-partum period was VERY difficult for me. I was depressed and I had a lot of the same feelings of fear, frustration and just wanting to run away that you describe. It WILL get better. Just take it day to day and focus on caring for his immediate physical needs and giving him as much love as possible. Don't wory about anything else. The suggestion from PPs to talk to your doctor or midwife is a good one. If you have post-partum depression, it's nothing to be ashamed of, but there are resources that can help you feel better.


What frustrates you? Is it the crying? Does he cry a lot?



 

harajukumoma
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2013 at 10:23 AM
I actually said after my dd came home from the Nicu that I wish she was never born... And those words haunt me to this day. It's PPD. She was an extremely difficult, well still is, baby, and it was before we established a routine. Once all that was in place everything calmed down. I know it feels like you're never gonna get through this- but believe me it will. "This too shall pass," just keep reminding yourself.... To this day my daughter is still very high needs she's 8 mos. and I am just going through the motions basically. My first daughter was so different she was an easy going baby. This ones completely different and I still don't know how to handle it at times.., sometimes I wonder if she's autistic, but only time can tell I guess. I plan on having her evaluated. Anyways, goodl luck Hun. You can do this. Pm me if you need to talk:)
Owl_Feather
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 10:24 AM

 what are you frustrated about hun?

Zazayam
by Nicki on May. 9, 2013 at 10:29 AM

Sounds like baby blues, don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about it.

Babies are hard, and no matter what you do you're always going to feel like you could do better. Don't stress it, just try to relax and enjoy it, even when it's frustrating. Congrats on the lil one, you'll do fine :)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)