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bossy mother in law advice

Posted by on May. 23, 2013 at 3:19 AM
  • 22 Replies
My mother in law is very controlling and bossy over me she's always butting in on how I raise my kids and telling me what to do the worst part of all is she steps in on punishing them while I'm standing right there she don't even give me a chance to do anything it makes me so mad my kids need to grow up knowing they need to listen to me not her she just takes over and punishes them on how she feels it should be done usually by spanking and I don't believe in that it just makes the situation worse and upsets the child more ive always been one to not stand up for myself and if I don't do what she thinks should be down she screams at me please help
by on May. 23, 2013 at 3:19 AM
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alandou
by April on May. 23, 2013 at 3:27 AM

You're going to have to step up and tell her how it is. Those are your kids. Not hers. She's raised hers already. Sounds like she loves control. I was kind of in the same situation before but it was with my grandmother. We had to live with her because of unexpected financial difficulties. She crossed the line way too many times and me having PPD was not a good mix. I had enough and blew up. My mother bear instincts kicked in and I let her have it. Feelings got hurt, but what I say goes. If not, then sorry, you won't see my child. We lived in the same house and she didn't even see her great grand-daughter for 3 months because of how she acted and how she disrespected my family and I. You have to say something and if she can't respect your parenting style then she won't see her grandchild. It really sucks, I know! Good luck!

---terrah---
by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:17 AM

Pretty much this says it all! You definitely need to let your MIL know that she is overstepping her bounds. They are your children and you are the parent...so you will raise them and discipline them how you see fit. She needs to respect your role as a parent and she needs to realize that a grandparent is not the same as mom and/or dad. Say something now before you get too angry and blow up....because then, you're more likely to say things out of anger and start a big family war.


Quoting alandou:

You're going to have to step up and tell her how it is. Those are your kids. Not hers. She's raised hers already. Sounds like she loves control. I was kind of in the same situation before but it was with my grandmother. We had to live with her because of unexpected financial difficulties. She crossed the line way too many times and me having PPD was not a good mix. I had enough and blew up. My mother bear instincts kicked in and I let her have it. Feelings got hurt, but what I say goes. If not, then sorry, you won't see my child. We lived in the same house and she didn't even see her great grand-daughter for 3 months because of how she acted and how she disrespected my family and I. You have to say something and if she can't respect your parenting style then she won't see her grandchild. It really sucks, I know! Good luck!



lauratupper
by on May. 23, 2013 at 8:12 AM

You need to step up. There is no easy way to do it, you just have to do it. Have you talked to your DH about it?

shoot4thestars
by Silver Member on May. 23, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Stand your ground.  It won't be pretty, but if you keep letting it go, then it's going to get even messier down the road.  I would restrict taking the kids to her house until she understands this, and if she decideds to go to your house and she starts screaming at you, let her know she can leave and come back when she is calm. 

Baby_Avas_Momma
by Elizabeth on May. 23, 2013 at 9:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Gotta grow a backbone mama. The day someone pulls any of that with me would be a very sad day for them. I don't even know what I would do if someone put their hands on my child. Not ok at all.
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abra
by Abra on May. 23, 2013 at 10:36 PM

Will your husband talk to her about backing off?

polkaspots
by Silver Member on May. 23, 2013 at 10:53 PM
My in laws also believe in hitting. My husband told them if either if them hit ds we would stop letting them see him and would cut off communication entirely. She's not being bossy. She's being downright rude and disrespectful. Bossy means telling someone what to do, not completely undermining their authority and touching their children. Do not be around her and tell her to stop hitting your kids.
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heathercara
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:36 AM
What does ur husband say about it? I think he should be the one to talk to her. If he shows his support and respect for u she will treat u that way too.
michiganmom5150
by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:45 AM
My mom is like that. I'm not anti spanking, but I reserve it for the serious offenses. My mom would use it on anything, and we clash when she says something about me not spanking over a wrongdoing. I'd tell her your way of doing things, and ask her to let you raise your kids. I tell my mom in the most respectful way possible, my kids, I'll do it my way.
expectantmom81
by Erin on May. 25, 2013 at 11:15 PM
I would stand up to her and tell her she needs to back off!! Sorry mama
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