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I'm 22 and wanting a baby! BAD!

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:50 AM
  • 29 Replies

I am 22 years old I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we were bestfriends for about 6t years. I was with my ex last year and we were together about 2 years planned to get married etc love of my life. Wellllll we had miscarriage at about 7-8 weeks and I've been battling depression ever since also on top of that my ex moved 8 hours away and left me here to just deal with it by myself. I was completely devastated because I love kids. I am actually a assitant preschool teacher and I love my job more then anything.. Anyways I want a child and to be married beyond belief and my bf isn't ready. He says he wants to be more, "financially set". But that's just not possible...I have tried everything to make myself happy but I really really want a baby. Hell babies that don't even normally go to strangers go to me. I just don't know what else to do I've tried everything to quit thinking about it but nothing works. Also my mom is 40 and she just has me and my baby sister who just turned 3. She said back when she had 2 miscarriages back to back back when I was 10 it was easy for her because she had me to take care of. I know my boyfriend means well but I just want it more then anything and I feel like its going to end his and I's relationship...Please any advice will help I have a head on my shoulders I am going to go back to school and I work full time what else do I need to show him that we can do this and that no one is ever really ready to have a baby... ://

by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
expectantmom81
by Erin on May. 31, 2013 at 10:58 AM
I'm probably not going to say what you want to hear but honestly if you want to go back to school I highly reccomend doing that first. I'm not saying it isn't possible to go to school with a kid but it certainly will not be easy. Also, maybe he just isn't ready for that commitment. Maybe you two should sit down and discuss what each of you wants with your future as far as kids go and maybe come to a compromise. I'm not sure what else to say. Sorry your feeling so depressed right now. HUGS
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jarnold22
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:13 AM

Thanks. We have talked he keeps telling me he is ready were just not financially ready but I mean come on? And the program I go through doesn't put to much strain on me I only take like 2 classes a semester. And he has lied to me a couple times about trying he had told me if I saved up money for a car we could took me 3 weeks I got a car he said he only said it to motivate me. Then we were hoping to get some raise at his job in July that fell through and now he is all like well we're gonna wait. From the sounds of what he's been saying he's just lying about it all. I don't think he wants to quit playing video games which pisses me off because they're just games. Idk I want a child bad I really do and it haunts me everyday I've done counseling and been on anti depressants for over a year. Nothing helps I've tried everything and the emptiness I feel is in my heart the longing for a baby and not with just anyone with him...ya know?

MrsSamMerlotte
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:18 AM
I never understood why people want babies lol. I love mt girls but I hate the baby stage. Once they hit 3 or 4, life was so much easier for me lol.
Anyway, are you sure you are ready? Babies grow up. The novelty wears off. Did you travel enough? Is there anything you want to do before a baby? Buy a house or go to school? Your sure this is the man you want to be with forever? If everything is all in order for you, then maybe you are ready! Good for you! But if you are not so sure, then maybe wait. And im not trying to be rude, I hope I don't come off that way.
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expectantmom81
by Erin on May. 31, 2013 at 11:19 AM
If I were you I would have a serious talk with him then and and just let him know that you need to know if he actually sees kids in your future cause if he really has no intentions of having kids then you need to decide if you want to move on and someday find a guy that does want kids or continue your relationship knowing there won't be kids. It sounds to me like he just doesn't want kids and is trying to hide behind his excuses.
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jarnold22
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:38 AM


Quoting MrsSamMerlotte:

I never understood why people want babies lol. I love mt girls but I hate the baby stage. Once they hit 3 or 4, life was so much easier for me lol.
Anyway, are you sure you are ready? Babies grow up. The novelty wears off. Did you travel enough? Is there anything you want to do before a baby? Buy a house or go to school? Your sure this is the man you want to be with forever? If everything is all in order for you, then maybe you are ready! Good for you! But if you are not so sure, then maybe wait. And im not trying to be rude, I hope I don't come off that way.

I want a baby because I love children of all ages I took care of my baby sister for months hell I still do and I miss her being little lol. Anyways I don't plan on doing anything else I am the lamest 22 year old there is I don't drink or do drugs hell half the time all I do is sit at home lol. And yes he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with he's my soul mate.

jarnold22
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:42 AM


Quoting expectantmom81:

If I were you I would have a serious talk with him then and and just let him know that you need to know if he actually sees kids in your future cause if he really has no intentions of having kids then you need to decide if you want to move on and someday find a guy that does want kids or continue your relationship knowing there won't be kids. It sounds to me like he just doesn't want kids and is trying to hide behind his excuses.

Yeah we've talked and talked all it comes down to is him saying that if i'm not happy in the now for what I do have why should he give me that which is stupid in my opinion. And he is great with kids he loves them and says he wants them but here the past few months he says he wants them but I feel like his actions speak differently...

To_the_moon
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:45 AM
Oh hun I'm so sorry. I lost 3 babies so I understand how painful that is but I think your bf has the right idea. Having a baby when you can't afford one makes it 10x harder, we're struggling right now with my dd. She was a surprise baby and though I love her more than life itself I wish we had waited until we were more financially sound and I was finished with school. I know it's hard and it sucks but hun you should wait just a bit longer.
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Liz132
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM

 If you have a child and he's not ready you have to consider he might not step up to be a good dad and he may resent you for pressuring him into it. I wouldn't keep pushing him unless you are prepared for and accepting of the possibility you may end up as a single mom. If it is so important for you to have children right away you should consider dating a man with the same desires.  

Quoting jarnold22:

Thanks. We have talked he keeps telling me he is ready were just not financially ready but I mean come on? And the program I go through doesn't put to much strain on me I only take like 2 classes a semester. And he has lied to me a couple times about trying he had told me if I saved up money for a car we could took me 3 weeks I got a car he said he only said it to motivate me. Then we were hoping to get some raise at his job in July that fell through and now he is all like well we're gonna wait. From the sounds of what he's been saying he's just lying about it all. I don't think he wants to quit playing video games which pisses me off because they're just games. Idk I want a child bad I really do and it haunts me everyday I've done counseling and been on anti depressants for over a year. Nothing helps I've tried everything and the emptiness I feel is in my heart the longing for a baby and not with just anyone with him...ya know?

 

Amybelle
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

You BF is being VERY Smart. You need to FINISH your education and Solidify your Relationship (marriage) before you get pregnant. If you force the issue & get pg know how he feels you will mostly likely end up a single mother. 

bad_mama2011
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this

If you wait to have a baby it will be better for your relationship in the long run, get counseling if you can for the loss. *hugs*

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