Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Babies Babies

Really think about this... READ ME!!!!

Posted by   + Show Post

 Self soothing...

People say "oh he/she needs to learn to self soothe" Really? So let me ask you this then, When we are crying, hurting,upset can we self soothe w/out any intervention what so ever?  Wouldnt the comfort of someone being there,going for a walk, talking about it, getting a drink of pop, listening to music what ever the case may be... wouldnt that be the only way to really "get over it"  or help you?

sitting there crying and crying till you what,? fall asleep? think of something else? is that really how you can "self soothe" your self? who does this and they feel better? So why let your child do the same? CIO or whatever the case... B/c you know there is something that helps you when you are upset you dont just sit there and keep crying feling alone abandoned etc.. and magically you have "self soothed"???? Is there some prize we get for letting our children "self soothe" How can you be ok with your child needing you/ something and you are doing nothing? teaching them to "self soothe"

CMON y'all, REALLY????

This upsets me so much, I know I cannot be the only one who feels this way!!!

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 9:05 PM
Replies (21-30):
937mrsweaver
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:52 PM

 Thanks for the feedback!


Quoting harajukumoma:

I believe it can be used and work depending on the baby and the age. Not too young and not too long.


Quoting 937mrsweaver:

 


Agree, but how do YOU feel about it? What is your stance on it?


Quoting harajukumoma:

Their kid, their choice. Period

 


 



 

CafeMom Tickers
harajukumoma
by Silver Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I have a 5 y/o I didn't cio and she's attention crabbing all kids are! I don't think that claim has any bearing. All kiddos love attention


Quoting mama-smurf:

I agree too. I CIO with my son and now at 5 years old he's starving for attention. Acting up, and much more. My 2 year old I did cio and then stopped. She's very independent. I dont do cio with my 5 month old and she's independent too now. She self soothes without crying. If anything, I usually hold her 24 7, now she cries here and there to be put down and sleep and more. They'll self soothe when they're ready,




Quoting 937mrsweaver:

 



Thats pretty much my stance on it as well... Not everyone may do CIO like that but i am sure alot do.. no matter how it is done IMO it is wrong to do that to your child.



Quoting mama-smurf:

I use to agree with CIO but now I don't. Idk how expect tiny innocent babies to self soothe. They cant even hold their heads up or even talk. It's basically like theyre saying "I wanted u for 9 months but now ur on ur own. Cry yourself to sleep while I ignore your cries as I do as I please.





 



harajukumoma
by Silver Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:54 PM
"Crabbing!" Lol


Quoting harajukumoma:

I have a 5 y/o I didn't cio and she's attention crabbing all kids are! I don't think that claim has any bearing. All kiddos love attention




Quoting mama-smurf:

I agree too. I CIO with my son and now at 5 years old he's starving for attention. Acting up, and much more. My 2 year old I did cio and then stopped. She's very independent. I dont do cio with my 5 month old and she's independent too now. She self soothes without crying. If anything, I usually hold her 24 7, now she cries here and there to be put down and sleep and more. They'll self soothe when they're ready,






Quoting 937mrsweaver:

 




Thats pretty much my stance on it as well... Not everyone may do CIO like that but i am sure alot do.. no matter how it is done IMO it is wrong to do that to your child.




Quoting mama-smurf:

I use to agree with CIO but now I don't. Idk how expect tiny innocent babies to self soothe. They cant even hold their heads up or even talk. It's basically like theyre saying "I wanted u for 9 months but now ur on ur own. Cry yourself to sleep while I ignore your cries as I do as I please.







 




cabrandy03
by Brandy on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:08 PM

You always hear people say they wish they'd cuddled or held their children more when they were little....you never hear people say they wish they'd held and cuddled their children less.  It's such a short period of our lives so I really don't care if I have to get up several times a night to comfort dd.  This phase will pass and I'm sure that I will miss it when it's gone.  I do wonder sometimes about parents who complain their 4 month old wont sleep all night, I mean everyone knows babies wake up at night right?  Why have children if you don't want to parent them?

Quoting 937mrsweaver:


I know the world is full of different opinions and views.. thats what obviously makes the world go 'round etc.. But something like this, I feel it should pretty much be common sense, ya know?.. I wished everyone thought as we do, I bet there would be a lot more happy babies in the world which in return make the parents more happy.. so many parents are OMG I only got 5 hours of sleep... Im up 5x a night etc etc.. did they not know that was part of the territory?.. babies are full of suprises you never know what they are gonna do or who they will be.. Its shocks me to know some parents think their kid should automatically get the hang of something or do something right away while still  being so young!! they dont realize these days will be over soon and i bet some will look back and be like damn, i should have cuddled my child when they needed/ wanted me.. one day they wont be able to cuddle or hold and calm them just by being there..

I just wanna scream to the world "PICK YOUR BABY UP, LOVE THEM, STOP FREAKING IGNORING THEM, STOP BEING SO CRUEL AND ONLY WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SLEEP STOP BEING SO SELFISH"!!!!! B/C really thats what it boils down to.. selfishness.

Quoting cabrandy03:

I agree with you 100%.  I like to someone to talk to or to comfort me when I'm upset so of course my baby would also like to be comforted when upset. It seems neglectful to me to not give a baby or child some ammount of comfort when he or she is upset.




lismore
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
937mrsweaver
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:12 PM

 

Amen sista!

Quoting cabrandy03:

You always hear people say they wish they'd cuddled or held their children more when they were little....you never hear people say they wish they'd held and cuddled their children less.  It's such a short period of our lives so I really don't care if I have to get up several times a night to comfort dd.  This phase will pass and I'm sure that I will miss it when it's gone.  I do wonder sometimes about parents who complain their 4 month old wont sleep all night, I mean everyone knows babies wake up at night right?  Why have children if you don't want to parent them?

Quoting 937mrsweaver:

 

I know the world is full of different opinions and views.. thats what obviously makes the world go 'round etc.. But something like this, I feel it should pretty much be common sense, ya know?.. I wished everyone thought as we do, I bet there would be a lot more happy babies in the world which in return make the parents more happy.. so many parents are OMG I only got 5 hours of sleep... Im up 5x a night etc etc.. did they not know that was part of the territory?.. babies are full of suprises you never know what they are gonna do or who they will be.. Its shocks me to know some parents think their kid should automatically get the hang of something or do something right away while still  being so young!! they dont realize these days will be over soon and i bet some will look back and be like damn, i should have cuddled my child when they needed/ wanted me.. one day they wont be able to cuddle or hold and calm them just by being there..

I just wanna scream to the world "PICK YOUR BABY UP, LOVE THEM, STOP FREAKING IGNORING THEM, STOP BEING SO CRUEL AND ONLY WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SLEEP STOP BEING SO SELFISH"!!!!! B/C really thats what it boils down to.. selfishness.

Quoting cabrandy03:

I agree with you 100%.  I like to someone to talk to or to comfort me when I'm upset so of course my baby would also like to be comforted when upset. It seems neglectful to me to not give a baby or child some ammount of comfort when he or she is upset.

 

 



 

CafeMom Tickers
937mrsweaver
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Bump for the 40yr old FTM

:)

ChristyG2012
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:08 AM
This pretty much sums it up for me as well.

You may picture evil moms sipping wine with the tv volume jacked up while little Timmy has been screaming for half an hour, but that is not what it is, if done properly.

You see that the baby's needs are met, cuddle & kiss them, & then put the baby back to bed. In the beginning you go in every few minutes to assure the baby he's not been abandoned & after a lil bit they learn to go to sleep without all the unnecessary attnetion. It took my daughter one day. She may cry every now & then, never more than a few minutes. Sometimes if she's having a bit more trouble than usual I'll even stand outside her door singing lullabies for a few minutes so she doesn't feel alone.




Quoting ELFs_Mommy:

I disagree. We used the CIO/self soothe method with both of my DDs starting at about 6 months. We made sure they were fed, had a clean diaper, not in any obvious pain, etc. But there is only so much you can do for them, and only so much screaming and crying a same individual can take before they start losing it. We would always check on them every 5-10 minutes so they knew we hadn't left them and to make sure they were still safe, but we also found that the more we tried to help them calm down, whether is be through holding, talking, singing, walking, or what ever your favorite 'trick' might be, the longer and harder they cried. My kids are 7 and 4 now, and are very independent and happy. If we need to, we will use the same methods for baby #3, who is due in about a month.

expectantmom81
by Erin on Jul. 13, 2013 at 8:46 AM
I believe there is a right and wrong way to self soothe. We did CIO with our kids but I would check on them every 10 minutes and it was only at bed time (the doctor recommended it) and would never just let them cry just because I didn't want to deal with them.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
harajukumoma
by Silver Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:14 AM
See my dd unfortunately never since birth liked to be cuddled, when she's upset and tired- cuddles and holding her actually makes it worse- she just wants put down with her bottle and then she'll be fine. I wish she would let me cuddle her! So we did cio w her... My first born though it wouldn't of worked for cuz she loved cuddles


Quoting cabrandy03:

You always hear people say they wish they'd cuddled or held their children more when they were little....you never hear people say they wish they'd held and cuddled their children less.  It's such a short period of our lives so I really don't care if I have to get up several times a night to comfort dd.  This phase will pass and I'm sure that I will miss it when it's gone.  I do wonder sometimes about parents who complain their 4 month old wont sleep all night, I mean everyone knows babies wake up at night right?  Why have children if you don't want to parent them?

Quoting 937mrsweaver:



I know the world is full of different opinions and views.. thats what obviously makes the world go 'round etc.. But something like this, I feel it should pretty much be common sense, ya know?.. I wished everyone thought as we do, I bet there would be a lot more happy babies in the world which in return make the parents more happy.. so many parents are OMG I only got 5 hours of sleep... Im up 5x a night etc etc.. did they not know that was part of the territory?.. babies are full of suprises you never know what they are gonna do or who they will be.. Its shocks me to know some parents think their kid should automatically get the hang of something or do something right away while still  being so young!! they dont realize these days will be over soon and i bet some will look back and be like damn, i should have cuddled my child when they needed/ wanted me.. one day they wont be able to cuddle or hold and calm them just by being there..


I just wanna scream to the world "PICK YOUR BABY UP, LOVE THEM, STOP FREAKING IGNORING THEM, STOP BEING SO CRUEL AND ONLY WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SLEEP STOP BEING SO SELFISH"!!!!! B/C really thats what it boils down to.. selfishness.


Quoting cabrandy03:


I agree with you 100%.  I like to someone to talk to or to comfort me when I'm upset so of course my baby would also like to be comforted when upset. It seems neglectful to me to not give a baby or child some ammount of comfort when he or she is upset.







Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)