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Babies Babies

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 Self soothing...

People say "oh he/she needs to learn to self soothe" Really? So let me ask you this then, When we are crying, hurting,upset can we self soothe w/out any intervention what so ever?  Wouldnt the comfort of someone being there,going for a walk, talking about it, getting a drink of pop, listening to music what ever the case may be... wouldnt that be the only way to really "get over it"  or help you?

sitting there crying and crying till you what,? fall asleep? think of something else? is that really how you can "self soothe" your self? who does this and they feel better? So why let your child do the same? CIO or whatever the case... B/c you know there is something that helps you when you are upset you dont just sit there and keep crying feling alone abandoned etc.. and magically you have "self soothed"???? Is there some prize we get for letting our children "self soothe" How can you be ok with your child needing you/ something and you are doing nothing? teaching them to "self soothe"

CMON y'all, REALLY????

This upsets me so much, I know I cannot be the only one who feels this way!!!

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 9:05 PM
Replies (31-40):
Tckosdk.2012
by Silver Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 11:24 AM

I don't do the CIO either. I can't imagine just letting my baby cry so she knows I'm not there for her or so she thinks she's all alone. It just dosn't sit well with me. To each their own but I can't do that.

Mom2Just1
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:51 PM
1 mom liked this
We don't CIO. It's mean.
angiejones256
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 8:37 PM

well, i let my kids cry it out not becuz i dont care, cuz trust me i do. it really KILLS me to hear them. BUT!!i only let him cry it out for about maybe 30 mins before i go in there and make sure hes okay but i dont give him a bottle cuz hes 7months we stopped that last month. 

MaliyahsMommy23
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 8:40 PM

I don't let my daughter cry but I do let her fuss herself to sleep after I have tried soothing her. It's just how she falls asleep. I do not let her actually cry, it breaks my heart lol.

brittany208
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:37 AM

 and you said in an earlier reply that you arent being judgmental? ........

"self soothe" does not mean you leave your baby in the crib screaming for an hour wil you go have a glass of wine. it can just mean, after you have comforted and calmed baby almost to sleep, that they learn how to fall asleep on their own. or if they wake up a little in the middle of the night,that they can fall back asleep on their own without needing you. everyone wakes in the middle of the night and goes back to sleep without even realizing they were awake.

and babies arent expected to just do it on their own from birth. you help them to do it. you teach them how gently.

IMO, its selfish(?) dumb (?) foolish (?) to start bad habits that one year from now you (general you) are going to be in here asking how do i get my baby to sleep????????" noting wrong with snuggling your baby. im snuggling mine right now. but part f being the parent is giving them the skills they need as they grow up. i try to always make my parentingdecisions with the end result in mind.

and just for the record....my 7wo barely has a CHANCE to cry bc I hold him/take care of him. and sometimes he sleeps in bed with me, but he is CAPABLE of sleeping by himself in his own bed. he slept 7 hrs last night nursed real fast, then fell asleep next to me bc  fell asleep too


Quoting 937mrsweaver:

 

I know the world is full of different opinions and views.. thats what obviously makes the world go 'round etc.. But something like this, I feel it should pretty much be common sense, ya know?.. I wished everyone thought as we do, I bet there would be a lot more happy babies in the world which in return make the parents more happy.. so many parents are OMG I only got 5 hours of sleep... Im up 5x a night etc etc.. did they not know that was part of the territory?.. babies are full of suprises you never know what they are gonna do or who they will be.. Its shocks me to know some parents think their kid should automatically get the hang of something or do something right away while still  being so young!! they dont realize these days will be over soon and i bet some will look back and be like damn, i should have cuddled my child when they needed/ wanted me.. one day they wont be able to cuddle or hold and calm them just by being there..

I just wanna scream to the world "PICK YOUR BABY UP, LOVE THEM, STOP FREAKING IGNORING THEM, STOP BEING SO CRUEL AND ONLY WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SLEEP STOP BEING SO SELFISH"!!!!! B/C really thats what it boils down to.. selfishness.

Quoting cabrandy03:

I agree with you 100%.  I like to someone to talk to or to comfort me when I'm upset so of course my baby would also like to be comforted when upset. It seems neglectful to me to not give a baby or child some ammount of comfort when he or she is upset.

 

 


 

ceckyl
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:43 AM
2 moms liked this
Oh My good lord, 30 mins?!? That's disgusting.



Quoting angiejones256:

well, i let my kids cry it out not becuz i dont care, cuz trust me i do. it really KILLS me to hear them. BUT!!i only let him cry it out for about maybe 30 mins before i go in there and make sure hes okay but i dont give him a bottle cuz hes 7months we stopped that last month. 


angiejones256
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 7:58 PM

you guys can do what u want but u r flippin rude i will do what i WANT with my kids in fact it is NOT cruel their doctor told us to do this. u voiced ur opinion. i really dont care what u think i wasnt asking u if ur ok with this i was telling u what i do,. and toward the mom up there that said that mothers only let their babies cry them selfs to sleep cuz there selfish, whatever u have NO IDEA what we do and i really dont need u to bash MY mothering when i can grantee u when our kids 5 or something MY kids wont be brats so u wanna try me. 

Quoting ceckyl:

Oh My good lord, 30 mins?!? That's disgusting.



Quoting angiejones256:

well, i let my kids cry it out not becuz i dont care, cuz trust me i do. it really KILLS me to hear them. BUT!!i only let him cry it out for about maybe 30 mins before i go in there and make sure hes okay but i dont give him a bottle cuz hes 7months we stopped that last month. 




Hi_Rae
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:02 PM
We don't CIO. It is simply not something our family is comfortable with.
Jessicamarquez
by Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:04 PM
I let my baby reflect when's she's flustered no contact just my voice to talk her through what ever it may be she calms down and then I pick her up I hope it will show her that we talk and then get physical comfort after we communicate effectively. I realize she's only six months and people in my life think I'm nuts coddle her but I rather have her hear words when she cry's then receive physical comfort
KatieFlower
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:04 PM
I agree.
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