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 Self soothing...

People say "oh he/she needs to learn to self soothe" Really? So let me ask you this then, When we are crying, hurting,upset can we self soothe w/out any intervention what so ever?  Wouldnt the comfort of someone being there,going for a walk, talking about it, getting a drink of pop, listening to music what ever the case may be... wouldnt that be the only way to really "get over it"  or help you?

sitting there crying and crying till you what,? fall asleep? think of something else? is that really how you can "self soothe" your self? who does this and they feel better? So why let your child do the same? CIO or whatever the case... B/c you know there is something that helps you when you are upset you dont just sit there and keep crying feling alone abandoned etc.. and magically you have "self soothed"???? Is there some prize we get for letting our children "self soothe" How can you be ok with your child needing you/ something and you are doing nothing? teaching them to "self soothe"

CMON y'all, REALLY????

This upsets me so much, I know I cannot be the only one who feels this way!!!

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 9:05 PM
Replies (41-50):
noonelikeme564
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:15 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with you 100% as well! I just couldn't hear my baby cry and not do anything! To me that means he needs me, his feelings are hurt, he is tired, he is hungry, HE IS A BABY!! That's his only way to communicate with me...and as his mother it is my responsibilty to nurture him and make him feel as though mommy is here for you always;-)!!!

Baby_Avas_Momma
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:30 PM
2 moms liked this
CIO is something that has never and will never be an option in this family. :)
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ceckyl
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:37 PM
I couldn't even make out what half of that poorly written jibberish meant.


Quoting angiejones256:

you guys can do what u want but u r flippin rude i will do what i WANT with my kids in fact it is NOT cruel their doctor told us to do this. u voiced ur opinion. i really dont care what u think i wasnt asking u if ur ok with this i was telling u what i do,. and toward the mom up there that said that mothers only let their babies cry them selfs to sleep cuz there selfish, whatever u have NO IDEA what we do and i really dont need u to bash MY mothering when i can grantee u when our kids 5 or something MY kids wont be brats so u wanna try me. 


Quoting ceckyl:

Oh My good lord, 30 mins?!? That's disgusting.







Quoting angiejones256:

well, i let my kids cry it out not becuz i dont care, cuz trust me i do. it really KILLS me to hear them. BUT!!i only let him cry it out for about maybe 30 mins before i go in there and make sure hes okay but i dont give him a bottle cuz hes 7months we stopped that last month. 







PrincessGemini
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:37 PM

I know what you mean! I hate how so many people are conditioned to think that babies need to learn to self soothe. 

jridgill
by Sapphire Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:29 PM
The great thing about being parents is having the ability to raise your children the way you want them to be raised.

Do you vaccinate? Hope not. Many don't agree with that.

Circumcision? Oh no.

Formula? You better not.

Breastfeed in public? How dare you.

Forward face in a carseat at 1? Seriously? What were you thinking.

Medicated child birth? OMG

I think you probably get the point by now. We are all different.
brittany208
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 11:03 PM

 you can want to parent your children without wanting to be with them literally all morning, noon, and night. there is nothing wrong with wanting enough sleep so you can be half-way functional the next day


Quoting cabrandy03:

You always hear people say they wish they'd cuddled or held their children more when they were little....you never hear people say they wish they'd held and cuddled their children less.  It's such a short period of our lives so I really don't care if I have to get up several times a night to comfort dd.  This phase will pass and I'm sure that I will miss it when it's gone.  I do wonder sometimes about parents who complain their 4 month old wont sleep all night, I mean everyone knows babies wake up at night right?  Why have children if you don't want to parent them?

Quoting 937mrsweaver:

 

I know the world is full of different opinions and views.. thats what obviously makes the world go 'round etc.. But something like this, I feel it should pretty much be common sense, ya know?.. I wished everyone thought as we do, I bet there would be a lot more happy babies in the world which in return make the parents more happy.. so many parents are OMG I only got 5 hours of sleep... Im up 5x a night etc etc.. did they not know that was part of the territory?.. babies are full of suprises you never know what they are gonna do or who they will be.. Its shocks me to know some parents think their kid should automatically get the hang of something or do something right away while still  being so young!! they dont realize these days will be over soon and i bet some will look back and be like damn, i should have cuddled my child when they needed/ wanted me.. one day they wont be able to cuddle or hold and calm them just by being there..

I just wanna scream to the world "PICK YOUR BABY UP, LOVE THEM, STOP FREAKING IGNORING THEM, STOP BEING SO CRUEL AND ONLY WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SLEEP STOP BEING SO SELFISH"!!!!! B/C really thats what it boils down to.. selfishness.

Quoting cabrandy03:

I agree with you 100%.  I like to someone to talk to or to comfort me when I'm upset so of course my baby would also like to be comforted when upset. It seems neglectful to me to not give a baby or child some ammount of comfort when he or she is upset.

 

 



 

angela.bouchard
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:05 AM

I agree with you.

wolfybaby
by Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:30 AM

and this is the psychological approach. i wish more people would accept this science of human behavior. 

937mrsweaver
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 6:37 PM

 

30 min BEFORE going in there?

wow! poor lil baby :( he is still soooo young and may even need a bottle still!!! so if it "kills" you so bad then why let your child feel abandoned and cry for 30 min.. thats awful IMO, I am so sad for your BABY.

Quoting angiejones256:

well, i let my kids cry it out not becuz i dont care, cuz trust me i do. it really KILLS me to hear them. BUT!!i only let him cry it out for about maybe 30 mins before i go in there and make sure hes okay but i dont give him a bottle cuz hes 7months we stopped that last month. 


 

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937mrsweaver
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 6:47 PM

 

Why do you "want" to do those things? as want was capitialized... It is not rude it is NEVER ok to let baby CIO that long before checking on him. Whatever "doc" told you that is a crock-o-sh***

You're right your kid wont be a brat b/c he will be so starved for attention he will be good as gold to whoever pays him any mind.. What you are doing IS distgusting and nothing but cruel!! You are hurting your child, you need to stop!  

Quoting angiejones256:

you guys can do what u want but u r flippin rude i will do what i WANT with my kids in fact it is NOT cruel their doctor told us to do this. u voiced ur opinion. i really dont care what u think i wasnt asking u if ur ok with this i was telling u what i do,. and toward the mom up there that said that mothers only let their babies cry them selfs to sleep cuz there selfish, whatever u have NO IDEA what we do and i really dont need u to bash MY mothering when i can grantee u when our kids 5 or something MY kids wont be brats so u wanna try me. 

Quoting ceckyl:

Oh My good lord, 30 mins?!? That's disgusting.



Quoting angiejones256:

well, i let my kids cry it out not becuz i dont care, cuz trust me i do. it really KILLS me to hear them. BUT!!i only let him cry it out for about maybe 30 mins before i go in there and make sure hes okay but i dont give him a bottle cuz hes 7months we stopped that last month. 


 

 


 

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