Ok so.. My boyfriend and I have a beautiful 3month old baby girl. I am currently a sahm (I breastfeed, my car is broke down, and it's way cheaper than childcare) and he works from 7 -3:30 Mon-Fri. When he gets home and he holds her, she usually starts getting fussy or starts crying. He feels sad about it because he can't ever seem to calm her down. He has even said "she doesn't like me" and "she acts like she doesn't know who I am" ... I'll add that he and I got into a bit of an argument a few weeks ago- he always wants to leave Friday night or Sat night and get out of the house. And its not that I mind so much, but when I'm stuck in a house all alone during the day I like to see my partner when I can plus I could really use his help with things. I asked him when he's going to slow down a little. He said that since I'm breastfeeding she only wants me and there is nothin much for him to do .. he'll slow down more in a yr or so when she knows who he is and they can talk and play together. I told him we're supposed to me a team and I can't wait for a yr for him to want to be home with his family and that there tons of websites to find out how to bond with baby that don't require feeding. End result, he left anyway. I sent him like 8 links of different websites on ways for dads to bond with baby. (Probably shouldn't have done it while I was mad, I admit.) But he is still saying she doesn't like him and sometimes feels she doesn't know him. I asked if he read any of the links. He said, "I don't need an article to tell me how to be a dad." Then he proceeded to ask me if I read articles and I said, as a matter of fact, I do. He said he doesn't need to read them. I told him it's not telling him how to be a dad, it's offering ways to bond with a baby, because she needs that. She does ok with him when she spends long periods of time with him but it really is almost as if she doesn't know who he is sometimes. And I know it's because they need to bond and because she obviously sees me more than she sees him. But what can I do to help them bond without it seeming like I'm nagging (since he feels like he is above reading articles)?
on Aug. 31, 2013 at 9:31 AM