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What do you do when Your toddler is Jealous of the new baby?

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 9:29 AM
  • 14 Replies

My 3 year old son is extremly jealous of his little sister. Since I brought her home from the hospital almost 3 months ago he has been horrible. Doing things he knows that he shouldnt be doing. I'm at my wits end with him. I've tried including him with caring for his sister like letting him hold her and letting him feed her (with my help of course!) and instead of napping when she does we have our time just him and I. but nothing I do seems to work. His behavior is escalating from bad to worse lately. please help!!

by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 9:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jupiter5
by Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 9:32 AM
I will cuddle him till he pushes me off lol I dono they will be 15 mo apart and my kid is really independent already :) I don't think there will be a problem
jakesmom323
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 9:32 AM
1 mom liked this
Just try to make him involved as much as possible. Try to do one on one things with toddler as much as possible. When you kiss in baby, kiss on him too. Just try to keep it even and talk about toddler with the baby so they can hear it and feel involved. It worked for me and there were moments but they are great friends now at 1 and 3;)
larissalarie
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 9:38 AM
Sorry, I've never had jealousy issues with my children. I'm sorry you're dealing with it :-(
Bump!
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mommyofthree91
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 9:39 AM

I do Jakesmom323. But it seems like any time I have her on my lap like when im feeding her or trying to get him to sleep he gets mad. I put him on my lap too even with her there to try and show him its ok for her to be on me too and he can still as well. just last night he pulled her off of me thank god i was on the floor and not up on the couch but i mean holy I cant let him hurt her. I didn;t have this problem with my oldest (hes 4) when my youngest son was born. Michael loved his little brother from the start. 

Junebaby18
by Nannerz on Sep. 1, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Do not let him hurt her. If he does, you need to discipline him for it. You need to have a talk with him while the baby is sleeping and ask him what he thinks of the new baby. Ask open ended questions instead of ones that can be answered yes or no.

http://babyparenting.about.com/od/training/f/jealousy.htm

http://www.everydayfamily.com/my-toddler-is-jealous-of-the-baby/

I will be using these soon when I have my baby comes in a few months.

Cheyennesmommy4
by Christina on Sep. 1, 2013 at 11:38 AM

My 3 year old (he was two when his baby brother was born 7 months ago) hated his little brother, wouldn't go near him, take pictures with him, etc...He's still going through it from time to time. I asked the same quesiton a few months ago.

expectantmom81
by Erin on Sep. 1, 2013 at 1:10 PM
Keep doing what your doing with involving him and maybe do something special with him like go out for an ice cream or something got being a big brother.
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SaraSnider
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Idk im trying to keep my 2year old from killing my 11month old lol. She was fine till he could try and get her toys or food
clairewait
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 4:01 PM
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3 years old was our first big boundary pushing time, with or without a new baby. (Never had the "terrible two's" but definitely suffered the terrible 3's.)

I have 3 children, so the first and second have had to deal with the adjustement of a younger sibling. Honestly, we didn't make it a big deal. We held our normal boundaries, and yes, we had to tighten things a bit during the transition, but the consistency won out in the end, and both my first two just got over it. And relatively quickly.

I wouldn't be surprised if the new baby is just his current excuse for pushing boundaries. I seriously think my kids were LOOKING for reasons to be naughty at three, just to see what they could get away with. With worse behavior, in our house, boundaries get smaller and stricter, then we ease up when we see an attitude change.

And generally speaking, my husband and I have tried (and continue to try) to reinforce the idea that everyone in our family is equally important and VERY important, and everyone has a different job, so selfishness really isn't going to fly.

Obviously, some weeks are better than others. But my kids are like puppies. Ultimately, they live to please and to be loved, and when they start to explore outside of an emotional or physical boundary, a swift correction every time typically does the trick.

FWIW: I don't worry so much about the "why" behind the boundaries until they learn to obey. When my kids show obedience, I explain why things work the way they do. 3 is a little young to expect them to think logically, though not too young to begin introducing them to independent thinking. It is a very delicate balance, but I typically fall on the side of demanding obedience first, explanation later.

Good luck. It is normal, but it doesn't just magically go away on it's own.

Claire Wait

My blog: TheUnderToad.com

KylersMom8-16-7
by Gold Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 4:06 PM
Three is a really tough age. He was used to being the center of attention, jealousy is very normal. Just be patient and give it time:-)
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