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Sleeping habits gone exhausted!!

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 6:47 PM
  • 34 Replies
My name is Nicole and I am a first time mom. My daughter is almost 9 months and wears my husband and I out every night. In the very begin she slept with my husband on the couch for what reason I honestly don't remember and that lasted for about 2 months. We then had her sleep with us in our bed until about a couple months ago. We moved to a new place that has an extra bedroom for her. We have a routine for her every night. She has her dinner around 6pm then her last bottle at 7:30pm. At 8pm she will get a bath or a massage with the Johnson Bedtime stuff. We then lay her in her bed and read her a couple of stories then when shes asleep we leave the room. But not even about 10-15 mins shes up crying or talking and she will do this throughout the night. It might happen within a couple minutes to a couple of hours. She won't be happy until shes in bed with us. :-/ My husband and I need some help with advise and tips please!!
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 6:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SewingMamaLele
by Silver Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 6:54 PM
She's normal. Keep up the routine and bring her to bed when she wakes up. When she's over this stage she'll start sleeping better again for a while. Most kids don't get into really good, lasting sleep patterns until more like 2-3... Before then, it's all about survival and maximizing sleep for everyone.
emilysmom214
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 7:01 PM

Thanks. Our only problem with having her sleep with us in our bed is we can't sleep because we are afraid of rolling on-top of her. Plus she rolls like crazy.

JadeTigr7
by Silver Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 7:02 PM
1 mom liked this

My advice?  Do what gets you all sleep, if that's sleeping in the bed with you, then do it.

My 8 month old sleeps in the bed with me or the pack n play next to my bed.  I have two extra rooms she *could* use but she still wakes up to nurse at night and I'm a fan of getting sleep and that happens when she's with me. :)

I've done that with all my kids (my 8 month old is baby #5).  None of the other kids, ages 9 down to 4 sleep with me anymore, and all sleep fine in their own rooms. 

hemanclub
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 7:05 PM
2 moms liked this

I went through this with my son and if you want to put a stop to it then you have to let her cry.   I did what you were doing and the more I stayed with him until he fell asleep the more times he woke up expecting me to come back in and stay with him.  Co- sleeping is not my thing! He would kick me, move around too much and pull my hair.  What I had to do was put him to bed ( sleepy but not asleep) and literally close the door and not open it till the morning.  I'm not gonna lie, it isn't easy!  The first night he would sleep for a little and then cry for like 45 minutes, fall asleep, cry again and so on.  That good news is it only took 2 nights doing it this way to work.  Every now and then he tests me and I have to hold strong.  PS. Ear plugs helped.

clairewait
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 7:23 PM
Quoting Edenpeden:

This is ignorant and horrible!!!! Not open it until the! morning????? What the actual FUCK lady?!


Quoting hemanclub:

I went through this with my son and if you want to put a stop to it then you have to let her cry.   I did what you were doing and the more I stayed with him until he fell asleep the more times he woke up expecting me to come back in and stay with him.  Co- sleeping is not my thing! He would kick me, move around too much and pull my hair.  What I had to do was put him to bed ( sleepy but not asleep) and literally close the door and not open it till the morning.  I'm not gonna lie, it isn't easy!  The first night he would sleep for a little and then cry for like 45 minutes, fall asleep, cry again and so on.  That good news is it only took 2 nights doing it this way to work.  Every now and then he tests me and I have to hold strong.  PS. Ear plugs helped.


Wow. I understand disagreeing. But this response tends to eek itself into the disrespect category. We're all here for support. I'm not sure anyone is looking to just be flat out Internet slapped. I know there are forums on CM where that seems to be the culture. Can we leave it out of the "Babies" group? Come on...

To the original poster, I'll add: I can't say that anything about this had me raising an eyebrow. My kids also sleep through the night, all the way, in their own beds. All of them have pretty much done this from day one (aside from late night wake ups in the first 6 weeks) so I didn't have any bad habits to break. But I'm all for ripping off the bandaid of a bad habit swift and soon. My motto tends to be, "This is only going to get harder the longer I let it go on."

That said, you gotta figure out something that works for you.

I found some really great nuggets of advice from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It doesn't have to be a cry it out situation. This guy is all about finding the sleep window and that when you hit it right, the kid really won't cry much (if at all). I'm not anti-cry it out, but my kids really don't do it.

For what it's worth, we try to check on them on our way to bed every night, but there are plenty of nights when we don't, so I guess that would mean the door remains closed from 8pm until 7 the next morning.

And all my babes are happy, healthy, well-adjusted, and mostly well-behaved kids. If it helps to hear it. Good luck, mama. Stressful sleep stuff is the opposite of fun....


Claire Wait

My blog: TheUnderToad.com

AutymsMommy
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 7:28 PM

That is cruel and unsafe. Ear plugs? How can you tell if baby's cries change to hurting cries?!

OP - do not allow your child to cry it out. Your baby isn't learning to self soothe by crying-it-out; they're learning that they can't count on you. You - the one person they should always be able to count on. How would you feel if your husband was sick of your tears one day, tossed you in a bed, and left you alone to cry yourself to sleep? Eventually you would stop crying, but not because you drifted off peacefully - you would stop crying because you either exhausted yourself or because you finally realized nobody was coming to comfort you. When babies cry, their body goes through the same things ours does - their little heads ache, their mouth dries, they get the hiccups, they may feel sick.

Have you read The No Cry Sleep Solution? Buy it. Read it.

Oh - and your husband NEVER should have been co-sleeping on the couch with an infant! Very, very dangerous. In fact, there is a mom here on CM who lost her dd that way, I believe.


Quoting hemanclub:

I went through this with my son and if you want to put a stop to it then you have to let her cry.   I did what you were doing and the more I stayed with him until he fell asleep the more times he woke up expecting me to come back in and stay with him.  Co- sleeping is not my thing! He would kick me, move around too much and pull my hair.  What I had to do was put him to bed ( sleepy but not asleep) and literally close the door and not open it till the morning.  I'm not gonna lie, it isn't easy!  The first night he would sleep for a little and then cry for like 45 minutes, fall asleep, cry again and so on.  That good news is it only took 2 nights doing it this way to work.  Every now and then he tests me and I have to hold strong.  PS. Ear plugs helped.



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















Edenpeden
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 7:37 PM
I agree, I take back the explative. Saying its horrible and ignorant is still accurate in my opinion, although still disrespectful. Ive seen a lot on here and never once have I had such strong words that I chose to express. But holy crap, I have never heard of such a thing! What about changing, cuddling re assuring. What if baby crawls out of crib or is vomiting or hungry??? Maybe I should have responded better, too late now.


Quoting clairewait:Quoting Edenpeden:This is ignorant and horrible!!!! Not open it until the! morning????? What the actual FUCK lady?!


Quoting hemanclub:I went through this with my son and if you want to put a stop to it then you have to let her cry.   I did what you were doing and the more I stayed with him until he fell asleep the more times he woke up expecting me to come back in and stay with him.  Co- sleeping is not my thing! He would kick me, move around too much and pull my hair.  What I had to do was put him to bed ( sleepy but not asleep) and literally close the door and not open it till the morning.  I'm not gonna lie, it isn't easy!  The first night he would sleep for a little and then cry for like 45 minutes, fall asleep, cry again and so on.  That good news is it only took 2 nights doing it this way to work.  Every now and then he tests me and I have to hold strong.  PS. Ear plugs helped.
Wow. I understand disagreeing. But this response tends to eek itself into the disrespect category. We're all here for support. I'm not sure anyone is looking to just be flat out Internet slapped. I know there are forums on CM where that seems to be the culture. Can we leave it out of the "Babies" group? Come on...To the original poster, I'll add: I can't say that anything about this had me raising an eyebrow. My kids also sleep through the night, all the way, in their own beds. All of them have pretty much done this from day one (aside from late night wake ups in the first 6 weeks) so I didn't have any bad habits to break. But I'm all for ripping off the bandaid of a bad habit swift and soon. My motto tends to be, "This is only going to get harder the longer I let it go on."That said, you gotta figure out something that works for you.I found some really great nuggets of advice from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It doesn't have to be a cry it out situation. This guy is all about finding the sleep window and that when you hit it right, the kid really won't cry much (if at all). I'm not anti-cry it out, but my kids really don't do it.For what it's worth, we try to check on them on our way to bed every night, but there are plenty of nights when we don't, so I guess that would mean the door remains closed from 8pm until 7 the next morning.And all my babes are happy, healthy, well-adjusted, and mostly well-behaved kids. If it helps to hear it. Good luck, mama. Stressful sleep stuff is the opposite of fun....

Edenpeden
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:01 PM
Also, she says ear plugs are needed. Her kids are not sleeping through the night


Quoting Edenpeden:

I agree, I take back the explative. Saying its horrible and ignorant is still accurate in my opinion, although still disrespectful. Ive seen a lot on here and never once have I had such strong words that I chose to express. But holy crap, I have never heard of such a thing! What about changing, cuddling re assuring. What if baby crawls out of crib or is vomiting or hungry??? Maybe I should have responded better, too late now.





Quoting clairewait:Quoting Edenpeden:This is ignorant and horrible!!!! Not open it until the! morning????? What the actual FUCK lady?!





Quoting hemanclub:I went through this with my son and if you want to put a stop to it then you have to let her cry.   I did what you were doing and the more I stayed with him until he fell asleep the more times he woke up expecting me to come back in and stay with him.  Co- sleeping is not my thing! He would kick me, move around too much and pull my hair.  What I had to do was put him to bed ( sleepy but not asleep) and literally close the door and not open it till the morning.  I'm not gonna lie, it isn't easy!  The first night he would sleep for a little and then cry for like 45 minutes, fall asleep, cry again and so on.  That good news is it only took 2 nights doing it this way to work.  Every now and then he tests me and I have to hold strong.  PS. Ear plugs helped.

Wow. I understand disagreeing. But this response tends to eek itself into the disrespect category. We're all here for support. I'm not sure anyone is looking to just be flat out Internet slapped. I know there are forums on CM where that seems to be the culture. Can we leave it out of the "Babies" group? Come on...To the original poster, I'll add: I can't say that anything about this had me raising an eyebrow. My kids also sleep through the night, all the way, in their own beds. All of them have pretty much done this from day one (aside from late night wake ups in the first 6 weeks) so I didn't have any bad habits to break. But I'm all for ripping off the bandaid of a bad habit swift and soon. My motto tends to be, "This is only going to get harder the longer I let it go on."That said, you gotta figure out something that works for you.I found some really great nuggets of advice from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It doesn't have to be a cry it out situation. This guy is all about finding the sleep window and that when you hit it right, the kid really won't cry much (if at all). I'm not anti-cry it out, but my kids really don't do it.For what it's worth, we try to check on them on our way to bed every night, but there are plenty of nights when we don't, so I guess that would mean the door remains closed from 8pm until 7 the next morning.And all my babes are happy, healthy, well-adjusted, and mostly well-behaved kids. If it helps to hear it. Good luck, mama. Stressful sleep stuff is the opposite of fun....




hemanclub
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 11:14 PM

Relax ladies!  The ear plugs only reduce the sound, not eliminate it.  And doing this teaches my kid has been abandoned by me is bullshit!  You can read all the books you want on that subject but you don't know what you haven't seen.  My kid is one of the happiest children many have ever seen!  When he falls down or something scares him, he comes running right to me.  When he wakes up in the morning, I can hear him happily playing in his crib and when I go in there to get him, his smile is huge!  I have tried it different ways and every child is different.  My first was a piece of cake, a slept through the night at 6 weeks.  Second, I tried all the methods except refusing to open the door until the morning, and the boy did not sleep through the night until he was 3!  Third child, I nipped it in the bud so it wouldn't be till he was 3 to get a good nights sleep.  By the way, I do not sleep with ear plugs every night, it was just the first night because yes, it was difficult not going in there and comforting him.  Also, this method is what 3 other moms told me they did.  Maybe I am just the only one to admit it!  And another thing, they write books on the crying out method as well, so who is to says which one of the million books have it right.  Just so you know, the second child, the one I comforted for 3 years is my least independant, clingy, and cries the most.  By some of your standards, shouldn't he be the opposite since I did not "abandon" him?  PS. I had c-sections, formula fed, did not do organic, and I vaccinated all my children! 


JaimieSchuss
by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this
My son did this for a very short amount of time. I bought him this bear from target that plays soft melodies for 20min straight. I started playing it every time I laid him in his crib at bed time. Then if he woke up i would press it again and give his a quick kiss and I love you and give him ten minutes. If he still cried after that I'd lay down with him until he fell asleep and put him right back down. He associates the noise with sleep. If you don't already have one I would invest in a sound machine. Some babies take longer to self sooth. Hang in there. Also idk if you use Pinterest but they have amazing baby sleep plans that are 24 hour guides to a better nights sleep for mommy and baby. Reading them helped me early on.
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