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Do you ever feel like you NEED to be in total control of the baby sometimes?

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 8:08 AM
  • 29 Replies
1 mom liked this
My 6 week old has his nights and days flipped upside down. So I started having more awake time during the day, making sure he doesn't nap too long, yada yada. Well he started finally going right back to sleep after he awakes for his night feeds, which is all I want. Waking to eat overnight is no problem for me, but staying up for 4 hours after IS. Anyway, so my husband was off for the past couple of days, and here he comes disrupting things. He picks him up 20 minutes after he goes down for a nap which throws everything off and makes the baby so tired he naps in the evening which makes him wired at night. So last night, he was up from 1-5am. The night before, 1-4am. My hubby wants to help but doesn't remember to turn his fan and night light on when he puts him down overnight, changes and feeds him with the lights on, and of course during the day he pish poshes the schedule. He's only here a few nights a week bc of his work schedule so I'm the one up w baby each night. He wants to help and that is great, but he's NOT HELPING. He doesn't do these things to be difficult or anything. But you know men, it's difficult to explain and then he feels like he can't do anything right w baby. And I understand but sometimes I just want to do it all myself. It would be hard but at least consistent. Anyone else ever feel like this?
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 8:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PeachySweet2007
by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 8:38 AM
Bump!
Randi02
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:13 AM
I breastfeed, so my husband never did any feedings. He might help change a diaper in the middle of the night, or grab me a drink/rub my back while I nursed etc.
We also co sleep, so I never felt like that lol
PeachySweet2007
by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:16 AM
What did you do when/if baby was up for hours after a feed?

Quoting Randi02: I breastfeed, so my husband never did any feedings. He might help change a diaper in the middle of the night, or grab me a drink/rub my back while I nursed etc.
We also co sleep, so I never felt like that lol
dreamarrow
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:17 AM
My boys slept in our room till they were about 4 months and my SO was on third shift pretty much the entire time. It was easy for us to get into a routine together that way. Have you tried to do bedtime/nighttime together so hubby gets the chance to help out but also knows what to do?
PeachySweet2007
by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:23 AM
He watches his bath and stuff, and knows his bedtime routine. I'm having a problem w daytimes mostly. He will go to our son and pick him up in the middle of his nap and I explain to him that he needs to sleep so he can have proper awake time, otherwise he is up all night. To which he responds "I'll stay up w him tonight". But that's not the point. He adores the kid, and so do I. But consistency is key, you know?

Quoting dreamarrow: My boys slept in our room till they were about 4 months and my SO was on third shift pretty much the entire time. It was easy for us to get into a routine together that way. Have you tried to do bedtime/nighttime together so hubby gets the chance to help out but also knows what to do?
PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:28 AM

Put a reminder check off list on the bedroom door so he sees it as soon as he goes in.  And if he disrupts the baby's schedule, make him get up with him during the night.  

YzmaRocks
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:32 AM
The only time this ever happened to me for any length of time (my daughter did it twice when she was 9 months) was when we didn't bed share. My oldest son did exactly what you are describing and he didn't start sleeping in our bed at all until he was several months old. Once he came in our bed, he started sleeping a little better. I would put him down in his crib at night and he would stay there until he woke up for his night feeding. I nursed him in bed then and would put him back in his crib a couple hours later. This usually worked well to keep him on a good day/night routine and helped him sleep. He never was (still isn't) a good sleeper but I think that helped him keep his days and nights straight. My other three stayed in our bed from the beginning and immediately had their days and nights straight. My only other child to stay up at night did it twice, two nights in a row, and that was it. I am a firm believer that sleeping with an infant helps regulate their slaps schedules naturally :)

Quoting PeachySweet2007: What did you do when/if baby was up for hours after a feed?

Quoting Randi02: I breastfeed, so my husband never did any feedings. He might help change a diaper in the middle of the night, or grab me a drink/rub my back while I nursed etc.
We also co sleep, so I never felt like that lol
PeachySweet2007
by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:33 AM
Love the schedule idea. I'm gonna do that. He'll get up w him at night if he's here! But he works nights often so he undoes all my hard work when he upsets the schedule, you know?

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Put a reminder check off list on the bedroom door so he sees it as soon as he goes in.  And if he disrupts the baby's schedule, make him get up with him during the night.  

PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:39 AM

Yeah, I understand.  When my daughter was around 3, she stopped taking naps altogether.  "Naps are for babies!" she insisted.  So she was a holy terror for 2 days and then she would collapse from shear exhaustion on the 3rd day around 4:30.  Hubs would come home around 5:30-6pm and want to wake her up so she wouldn't disrupt her sleep schedule at night.  At that point I didn't care because I was home with a devil child all day. I told him that he better not wake her unless he had a death wish!  As I recall, we really didn't have  much of a problem getting her back down to sleep at bedtime.    

Quoting PeachySweet2007: Love the schedule idea. I'm gonna do that. He'll get up w him at night if he's here! But he works nights often so he undoes all my hard work when he upsets the schedule, you know?
Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Put a reminder check off list on the bedroom door so he sees it as soon as he goes in.  And if he disrupts the baby's schedule, make him get up with him during the night.  


PeachySweet2007
by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:40 AM
Mmmm, I can see your point in that theory.

Quoting YzmaRocks: The only time this ever happened to me for any length of time (my daughter did it twice when she was 9 months) was when we didn't bed share. My oldest son did exactly what you are describing and he didn't start sleeping in our bed at all until he was several months old. Once he came in our bed, he started sleeping a little better. I would put him down in his crib at night and he would stay there until he woke up for his night feeding. I nursed him in bed then and would put him back in his crib a couple hours later. This usually worked well to keep him on a good day/night routine and helped him sleep. He never was (still isn't) a good sleeper but I think that helped him keep his days and nights straight. My other three stayed in our bed from the beginning and immediately had their days and nights straight. My only other child to stay up at night did it twice, two nights in a row, and that was it. I am a firm believer that sleeping with an infant helps regulate their slaps schedules naturally :)

Quoting PeachySweet2007: What did you do when/if baby was up for hours after a feed?

Quoting Randi02: I breastfeed, so my husband never did any feedings. He might help change a diaper in the middle of the night, or grab me a drink/rub my back while I nursed etc.
We also co sleep, so I never felt like that lol
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