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Sorry if TMI, whats wrong with me?

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 8:02 PM
  • 16 Replies
My son is now six months old and I still have no real desire to have sex. I go through the motions to keep hubby happy but just have no sex desire whatsoever and do not really enjoy it. This is my second child. My oldest is 6 and I did not really have this problem after I had her. However I was 23 when I had her and now I am goin to be 30. Is this just an age thing? I don't want to say to my hubby that I do not desire sex any longer and get him upset. I am much more out of shape now than when I had my daughter and myself esteem really sucks. Been really struggling to drop the weight. Has anyone else gone through this? I just want to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I will enjoy it again someday.... Not sure if it matters but I had a C-section with both and a D & C in between for a miscarriage
by on May. 4, 2014 at 8:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
la_bella_vita
by Bella on May. 4, 2014 at 9:17 PM

I know this is perfectly normal. I can't say I went through this personally. My sex drive has remained the same through pregnancy and post pregnancy but I know from my friends it's normal for the desire to drop. If you are insecure, that could keep you from enjoying it. If it's a hormone thing, you could see your doctor. Good luck and I hope someone else can give you some better advice!

christina122952
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:46 PM
Its normal.
expectantmom81
by Erin on May. 4, 2014 at 10:29 PM
It's normal.
KylersMom8-16-7
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2014 at 12:11 AM
You're definitely not alone. After my third was born we had no sex for the first 3 months. The very thought actually made me sick. I never really got my sex drive back when I got pregnant again. My youngest is almost 4 months and I definitely still have issues. My fiance sometimes wakes me up in the middle of the night and whispers how much he wants me; gets me every time. It's exciting, my heart pounds, I get this crazy rush, and it feels even more amazing.
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AbbeysMom2013
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2014 at 12:20 AM
My dd turned one yesterday, dh and I have not had sex since she was born. I honestly just have no desire.
NDADanceMom
by on May. 5, 2014 at 12:43 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't think it's normal or ok! I heard a great quote once. A good sex life is 30% of a good marriage and bad sex is 80% of a bad marriage. Sex becomes a huge issue if it's not a good place in your marriage. There can be many legitimate reasons to not want sex but you should resolve them. Is your husband not helpful? Do you worry about pregnancy? Are you overwhelmed? Figure it out and fix it. I'm 41, with a 6 month old and i love sex! It should always be a great thing you look forward to.
Eternity807
by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:29 AM

I'm not sure if it's normal but I definitely have the same problem.  My DD is 6.5 months old and I just don't want it at all.  I do it, but I'm never horny and would be happier if I never had to.  My DH wants it all the time.  :(

ohbabygirl40
by on May. 5, 2014 at 10:18 AM

I have to agree with this. And I'm 40 with a 6 mo old and I love it, too!

But I have to add, getting in shape years ago definitely helped me. (I used to be 70 lbs heavier.) I just FELT better when I started taking care of myself and that reflected in every aspect of my life. I encourage you to do the same - just for you. Nobody ever said, "Man, I felt better before I got into shape." You won't regret it and you're worth it!

Quoting NDADanceMom: I don't think it's normal or ok! I heard a great quote once. A good sex life is 30% of a good marriage and bad sex is 80% of a bad marriage. Sex becomes a huge issue if it's not a good place in your marriage. There can be many legitimate reasons to not want sex but you should resolve them. Is your husband not helpful? Do you worry about pregnancy? Are you overwhelmed? Figure it out and fix it. I'm 41, with a 6 month old and i love sex! It should always be a great thing you look forward to.


bopeeps_mom
by on May. 5, 2014 at 1:10 PM

I had the same issue after my first was born, had gained a ton of weight due to birth control. After I took out the implanon I had a great sex drive. Hormones being out of control are probably your biggest issue with weight and not self esteem, I would see your Dr and explain whats going on. I know its tough to exercise with kids or even find the time to do something for just you. My SO takes the girls so that I can spend a few hours getting my nails done or even just shopping without them. It really helped me to get out for a few hours without kids and not having to worry about them, time to work on yourself is very important even if its just a breather to have coffee wih a friend. 

cabrandy03
by Brandy on May. 5, 2014 at 2:04 PM
I had the same problem after dd was born (I was 25). It took over a year for it to become enjoyable for me again but it did eventually happen.
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