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I have PPD and I'm scared!

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2015 at 10:42 PM
  • 43 Replies
My son is two months old he is my first baby. His birth was an emergency c-section and was terrifying for me it caused a lot of trauma. I could not breast feed my son was tied so bad that he wouldn't latch. I pumped for a month and a half and then quit because the thought of his meals being put square on my shoulders gave me so much anxiety. Then when he was a week old we were told my husband was loosing his job and our insurance. I became very depressed my husband got really worried at points. But slowly thing started to work out he got a new job, we got into a routine. I was getting better or so I thought but then the violent thoughts started. Thoughts of suffocating my baby or drowning him! I would never hurt him I don't know why this is happening to me! I have never been a violent person I don't feel like me! I have never had mental health issues. Well tonight I did something I thought I would never do I pinched my baby he was crying I got so flustered it happened quick and as soon as it happened I felt horrible! He wouldn't come near me after that he cried if I touched him my husband had to put him to bed.

I came clean to my husband about my struggle and I'm going to get help. I feel broken I don't understand what is wrong with me.

Please tell me others have gotten through this. I feel lost.
by on Nov. 16, 2015 at 10:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Azure
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2015 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Postpartum depression can be a horrible thing to go through. I've never had it, but I've seen others suffer. I'm so glad you realized what's happening and are reaching out for help. Silence only adds to the suffering and sometimes has catastrophic results.

Here is a site that might help a bit: http://www.1800ppdmoms.org/

You will get through this. You are not alone. Please feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. I'm not always online, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Sending you and your family lots of positive thoughts.

Mom2Just1
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2015 at 12:42 PM
You bed to seek help.
Mom2Just1
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2015 at 12:42 PM
Need*
momofsixangels
by on Nov. 17, 2015 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I had it with my last child. I had to go on meds. PLease call your dr asap

mrswillie
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2015 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Aww...seeking help is good.
mrswillie
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2015 at 1:17 PM
Talking to her dh was the first step. Op stated she is going to get help.

Quoting Mom2Just1: You bed to seek help.
HunnyBabie
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2015 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, it's PPD and you do need help.  Talk to a dr; any dr can Rx you an anti-depressant.

If you want to try a natural route first, then St. John's Wort is the way I've gone.  Also, since hormones are involved, black cohosh might help.

I started taking black cohosh and then it kind of stopped working and I upped the dose until I read the bottle and discovered that I was taking twice the recommended maximum and it wasn't helping.  I started switching back and forth between one bottle (about a month) of St. John's Wort and one bottle (about a month) of black cohosh; that helped me while I needed the support for my hormones and brain chemistry to get straightened out after a m/c at 17 weeks.

I have also been on a generic for  Zoloft (which my mother took successfully) and it worked really well for me.  It helped me feel more like myself but didn't make me feel drugged or anything.  KWIM?

(((hugs)))

LaniBee
by on Nov. 17, 2015 at 1:27 PM

Call your doctor and discuss your options for treatment. There's no need to be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. 

IsaidsothatsY
by on Nov. 17, 2015 at 1:32 PM
Big hugs mama! I got ppd after all 3 of my kiddos. Once you see your doc and start taking meds/counseling you WILL feel better.
mama2b100808
by on Nov. 17, 2015 at 2:05 PM

I didn't have this but if I was you I would go see someone right now. You don't need your baby scared of you. 

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