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Anger

Posted by on Aug. 22, 2008 at 7:13 PM
  • 7 Replies

My oldest is 2 1/2 and I'm still having trouble making this mom thing work. I constantly mess something up or lose something or throw away something, can you believe I'm still having intamacy issues with my man? And my kids seem to never stop getting in trouble. I know they are just kids and  life's not nearly as bad as it could be but I just get so angry that nothing goes well. Does anyone else feel like this?

by on Aug. 22, 2008 at 7:13 PM
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Replies (1-7):
imtheonlysane1
by on Aug. 22, 2008 at 7:39 PM

I sure did feel like that but the main thing to remember is that you have to relax. If you are stressed out and in a chaotic state then your kids will be also. They can sense everything that you feel. Since I have learned to keep my home and my mind in a non chaotic state my children behave.


junebug082
by on Aug. 23, 2008 at 1:42 AM
Oh do I ever understand how you feel!! I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old. I love my babies with everything, but so many days seem to be so very trying! It has taken me a while, but I've finally learned when I really need to get some help in.. whether it be to call my mom or whoever. My son (2 yrs), same thing, always seems to be getting into something.. but as you know, thats what they do at this age.. not that knowing that makes dealing with it any easier. Intimacy issues.. yeah.. often I'm just "going along" and rarely ever can I really get into it. Talking to my husband hasn't honestly helped much as he really doesn't understand and then therefore only frustrates him, adding to a nasty cycle. Call on your girlfriends. Tell your DH you need a night out and just go be a female again for a couple hours. You'll still come back to a possible hair-pulling situation, but you'll feel somewhat refreshed and a bit relaxed, which in turn *should* help your 2 1/2 yr old to relax as the other reply stated (in they sense you being stressed). Or, just ask someone to watch for a few hours while you go out on your own, even if you do nothing. It really can make a difference. Worst case if I can't anything else, I've just had my son play in his room for 15 minutes or so, simply so that I could collect my thoughts and gain some sense of inner balance again. Best of luck to you. We are all here to help :)
smartty1
by on Aug. 23, 2008 at 8:54 AM

Hang in there!  Sometimes I get overwhelmed too.  I don't know what your situation is but if you can afford to try to put your 21/2 year old in some kind of preschool or just a drop off childcare for a few hours.  My son is 4 and he has been if preschool since 18 months.  He needs the interaction and routine.  This summer has killed me bc I have a new baby also.  Also if a child can't get positive attention they will definately take negative.  Make a big deal out of all good things and be consistent with your discipline.  Good luck!

butterfly

lverdone
by on Aug. 23, 2008 at 1:28 PM

I was just reading parents or parenting magazine.  They had a blurb from a mom who runs her own moms web site and her motto is "I'm still figuring this out too" -- I don't know that anyone has everything figured out.  Raising kids is hard.  Just when you think you have it figured out, the kids change the rules. 

You're kids are also at the age where they are testing boundaries and exploring everything - which leads to trouble/mischevousness.  Is there something that calms you down? 

Yes, I can believe you have intimacy issues - personally, after a day of my daughter hanging all over me and not letting me out of her sight, the last thing I want is my DH all over me, lol.

frndlyfn
by on Aug. 23, 2008 at 2:28 PM

i agree with you. I am also the house's pillow....... bf, cat and 2 1/2 yr old daughter all think i need someone on top of me when i sit  LOL

Quoting lverdone:

I was just reading parents or parenting magazine.  They had a blurb from a mom who runs her own moms web site and her motto is "I'm still figuring this out too" -- I don't know that anyone has everything figured out.  Raising kids is hard.  Just when you think you have it figured out, the kids change the rules. 

You're kids are also at the age where they are testing boundaries and exploring everything - which leads to trouble/mischevousness.  Is there something that calms you down? 

Yes, I can believe you have intimacy issues - personally, after a day of my daughter hanging all over me and not letting me out of her sight, the last thing I want is my DH all over me, lol.


ampinquoch
by on Aug. 26, 2008 at 12:41 AM

Its hard going from being Mommy all day to the Sex Kitten at night. Men usually don't get it. My libido finally started kicking back in recently, and my daughter turns one on Wednesday. As far as the mischevious toddlers, I don't have experience there yet! I wish you all the luck tho.

Jessica604
by on Aug. 26, 2008 at 9:33 AM

I have a 2 yr old and a 1 month old. Since I am home with them all day a couple of times a week I ask my husband to sit with them so I can go do things for me when he gets home from work, whether it is just going to the store to browse or run errands that would otherwise be next to impossible with both kids, it gives me a little time to myself to regroup and relax. I make sure my toddler has a snack and the baby has milk and he is all set.  My parents also take my 2 yr old every Wednesday for a couple of hours and he spends every other weekend with them, of course this is their choice and I miss him terribly when he goes but it gives me and my husband time to focus on each other and essentially takes alot of stress off of me. And I lose almost everything, if I have misplaced or accidentally gotten rid of a favorite I make a new one. If my toddler makes a mess of something I make him help clean the mess. And when he has one of his tantrums, as long as he is not doing anything to hurt himself, I ignore him. I simply say to him that he is not behaving properly and I am not tolerating that behavior. He usually calms down within 10 minutes and has a more pleasant attitude. It is usually all about attention, whether they attract it being good or bad does not matter to them as long as they are getting it.

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