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how do u keep from goin crazy

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i have a 3 yr old 1 yr old and a 7 wk old. my boys dont listen no matter what i do, i've tried spanking, time outs, the corner, u name it i did it. except abuse of coarse. i just cant get them to listen to me. they hit each other, throw things, jump on my couch. u name it if its bad they do. i know i have to realize they r just kids but a mom can only take so much. jamie wakes up every couple hours to eat, does it for about 30 min falls back asleep then i fall asleep 45 min later then turning around and wakin up again. whats the secret. what do i do. im afraid i'm goin to snap one of these days. i would never hurt my kids or nothing but i think i will pull my hair out.

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by on Sep. 10, 2008 at 4:17 PM
Replies (11-15):
by on Sep. 17, 2008 at 4:17 PM

I have a 4yr and 2 yr and there are days that I would like to just run away!! I don't really know what to tell ya. I have a few suggestions that may or may not work. If things are really chaotic, I would suggest a schedule ( if you don't have one already). wake them up at the same time, take a nap at the same time (if no nap, then lay a watch a movie queitly), eat at the same time, bath, bed time, etc. Sometimes having a daily routine helps.

As far as the discilpine, well you just have to keep trying. What ever you try (time outs, taking toys away) you have to be consistent!! I've tried a little of everyting, timeouts, taking toys, spanking. To be honest I still do a little of all of it. Ex. if toys are being thrown, i give a warning then I take away. Same with time outs, first I warn then you go to time out. Now something you should know about timeouts... the first time my 2 yr old went to time out, it took almost 45 min for her just to sit for 2 min straight. she would get up and i would put her right back. And I always make sure they know why they are in time out and then I make them apologize for what they did and to who they did it to! It is soo hard sometimes, but you just have to hang in there. In the end its whats best for you and for them. And the spankings, I usually only do that when its something extreme. Ex. going outside with out me knowing, not staying with me in the store. We have a steep front yard/drive way and we have a line thats called "the line of death" if they cross it they get a spanking. We live on the main rd to our neighborhood, alot of speeders.

And on terrible days I like to take a nice hot shower or bubble bath. Something to help me relax for a few min. We may not get paid for being a mommy, but we deserve to be rewarded for all of our hard work!

good luck and hang in there

by on Sep. 17, 2008 at 4:34 PM

As a mother of a 2 year old and 7 weeks old, I wish there was a magic answer to all this. I understand how you feel. I am new to being a stay at home mom, so this is a learning experience for me. Having three must really be a challenge! The best advice I can give is just to take it one moment at a time. I always felt like I had a lot of patience, but energetic & needy little boys can definitely put that to the test! First of all, pray each day for patience and strength. God can get you through anything. And when you feel your lonliest through all this - remember He is there right beside you all the way! Second, the best thing I have found is to find things to keep your older ones entertained - books, painting, playdough, drawing, listening to music, building blocks, puzzles, even playing in the bath for a 1/2 hour. This holds their attention while you attend to the baby's needs. I find my older son tends to get a little out of hand when he is bored with the same old same old. So, I am trying to figure out ways to change our routine up a bit. I recently joined a mom's club in my area and am doing my best to get out of the house atleast once or twice a week. These activities give your kids a chance to play with others and you a chance to talk with other moms and destress a little. Hang in there. I am constantly told that having little ones so close together is so hard at first, but it will get better. I'll be praying for you.

by on Sep. 17, 2008 at 10:56 PM

I know exactly what you are going though. I have a 5 month, 2 yr old, 4 yr old, and 7 yr old. Right after my last was born Gage (2 yr old) changed completely. He wouldnt listen for anything. He would tell me no, pick up very heavy things and throw it on his sisters head constantly hit them and so on. I went a very long time with being in the worst mood ever. I did alot of yelling and realized that didnt work. i could spank him all the time and then he would act like he would hit me so I finally spanked him and made him stay in bed until he quit crying. It was a very long process and he's just now started to straighten up. If you ever need someone to talk to mail me. Trust me with such 4 young kids I've been through it all not to mention I''m a stay at home mom and never can get out I have no free time!!!!! lol

by on Sep. 18, 2008 at 2:15 PM

I feel for you.  I have a 6 yr old, 5yr old, 3 yr old, and 11 month old.  My 11 month old requires alot of time because she was born with a congential heart defect, has had open heart surgery, and has home health care, doctors appts, etc.  We are constantly on the run, and crazy busy but I try my best to stick to a strick schedule, because CONSISTENCY is the biggest thing to make your life simplier.  My 3 year old goes to half day preschool in the next county (25 miles from our house) because it was the best preschool in the area, and it is from 7:30 to 11:30 am.  Luckily, my mom drives by the preschool on her way to work so she picks her up and takes her.  I get both her and my 6 year old up at 6:15 in the mornings to get them ready for school.  Around  6:30 the baby wakes up and I make her a bottle, and change her.  I get the older kids breaskfast made while the baby is drinking her bottle.  The bus and my mom are at my house at 7 am.  I play with baby, get my 5 year old up, fed, dressed, etc, and whatever cleaning I need to get done between 7-10:45.  I also, but baby down for a nap at 9:30 everyday (and I take my shower/bath during this time so I can relax a little), unless we are at a doctors appt.  10:45 we load up in the car, and head to pick 3 yr old up at preschool, then turn right around and hurry back to get 5 yr old to Kindergarten by 12:05.  Come back home, and I get baby, 3 yr old and myself lunch.  I run all my errands during this time as well, if I have any to run that day.  I check my email, work on laundry, etc.  The older two get home around 3:30, and they eat a high protein snack, and we do homework.  Once homework is done, then they are allowed to play.  Around 5, I start supper. And we eat about 5:45-6, once the DH gets home from work.  He plays with the kids while I clean up the supper mess.  Then most of the time all of us will go outside and play a game, or ride bikes, etc.  Unless we have an activity to do that night (MOPS, girl scouts, cub souts, soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, or art studio) and then we go to those.  8pm get the girls in the tub, and DS in the other shower.  Kids are in bed by 8:30-8:45 every night, and then the DH and I have time to talk, watch a movie, etc.

It can be overwhelming at times, but once you get a schedule in place, and follow it, things will flow alot more smoothly, and you will feel a TON LESS stressed.

As far as discipline, kids WILL test your patience.  But if you are consistent with that as well, eventually they will understand YOU are in CONTROL, and NOT them.  I have learned if you are not consistent then they don't take you seriously.  They think, oh I can get away with this, because mom really isn't going to do anything about.  CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCy, CONSISTENCY is the KEY!!!!  Good Luck!

by on Sep. 18, 2008 at 2:24 PM

Sorry you're going through this! I may be able to help. I have 9 younger siblings and I am a mom of 2. Best thing I've found that works is not the timeout or the spanking method, however, I have used those when necessary, which is rare. I speak to my children like they're adults. I don't just say "no" I tell why not to do something. If asked why, I give a reasonable explanation, "because I said so" is not in my vocabulary because I remember I HATED that so much when I was a kid.  Never threaten and don't follow through. If you say, "If you do it one more time, you're going to your room" do it. They'll eventually learn your threats are not just threats, you are going to follow through. Also talk to them. Tell them that when they do those things they make you sad. Open communication is key I've found.

My mother was over my house one day and my mom was going crazy pleading with my daughter over and over to stop running through the house (we live in an apartment with people below us and it disturbes them). She couldn't get her to stop so I pulled her aside gently and I explained to her that her feet make a lot of noise and it is loud to the people downstairs. Her reply was "Oh, ok. Sorry Mommy" and she stopped running. My mom's jaw about hit the floor!

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