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HELP--I can't stand it!

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2008 at 10:59 PM
  • 7 Replies

My 4 year old seems to constantly be whining about every single thing...she even has a new fake cry.  I don't know what to do....it gets my blood and my husband's boiling quicker than anything.  Whether it's for a toy in the store or to watch a certain tv show or whatever, it's just this instant whining...HELP!

~Bobbi~

by on Sep. 18, 2008 at 10:59 PM
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Replies (1-7):
rainmaker6888
by on Sep. 18, 2008 at 11:16 PM

As hard as it is... and much easier to say than to do... ignore her - intentionally - and let her know it.

In the store - leave.  Just scoop her up and go out to the car.  If it is a must shopping trip then you or your husband walk out with her and the other finish up.  If you are at home, make it a point to pass her by so that she can see that you can't 'hear' her.  When she calms down and talks to you normally then do the old 'oh, did you want something?'   You may be able to start to compromise instead of giving up or giving in.  She will also learn that there are possible alternatives.

They all know what buttons to push and they push them all right.  If you think it is bad now - just wait for the teenage years - Urghhhh.

Danesmommy1
by on Sep. 19, 2008 at 11:48 AM

I agree with the first response.  Ignore her.  If in public, leave.  Don't respond, don't talk to her, except to say we're leaving.  Kids only do what works, she's getting a reaction, remove the payoff she gets and she'll quit.

Elke

MyTwoAngels0608
by on Sep. 19, 2008 at 12:15 PM

Bingo to the two previous posts.  I agree 100%.  She'll learn that if she wants to go to the store, she has to behave herself and whining is not acceptable.

jjessers
by on Sep. 19, 2008 at 12:36 PM

I agree totally!  Wether it is whining or tantrum throwing...don't give in to it.  Also...children know when you are patronising them. Just be firm and stick to your plan.  :)

Quoting rainmaker6888:

As hard as it is... and much easier to say than to do... ignore her - intentionally - and let her know it.

In the store - leave.  Just scoop her up and go out to the car.  If it is a must shopping trip then you or your husband walk out with her and the other finish up.  If you are at home, make it a point to pass her by so that she can see that you can't 'hear' her.  When she calms down and talks to you normally then do the old 'oh, did you want something?'   You may be able to start to compromise instead of giving up or giving in.  She will also learn that there are possible alternatives.

They all know what buttons to push and they push them all right.  If you think it is bad now - just wait for the teenage years - Urghhhh.


Hallmomma
by on Sep. 19, 2008 at 3:31 PM

its soooo the age.  My almost 4 year old does it like crazy.  We finally kept explaining that when he talks in that way, we will always say no to whatever he is asking.  We tell him everytime to stop whinning and stop talking that way...it got better a lot.  He never did it in the store though.

affamily146
by on Sep. 19, 2008 at 5:00 PM

My 4 year old does the same thing and i never gave her what she wanted until she asked and it was a clear question.  If she wined about it I would either ignore her give her a consequence for the whining or say i dont understand you so try again.  it has actually worked and her whining isnt as bad but every now and then she whines and i just keep up with it. 

michiganmom5150
by on Sep. 19, 2008 at 5:41 PM

My son did this when my second one was born. i think he wanted attention, but we ignored it. I told him I couldn't understand his whiny voice, so unless he could talk to me in his regular voice, I wasn't going to answer him because I didn't understand what he wanted. It lasted about 2 weeks more, ona dn off and he eventually realized that he wasn't getting anywhere with that.

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