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My 7 year old is hitting.

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2008 at 5:55 PM
  • 6 Replies

I am having a problem with my 7yo. son, hitting my 19 mo. old son. He'll get mad at him for whatever reason, and hit him on his head, or slapping his arm, etc. Earlier, a few minutes ago, I left the room to go do some dishes. As I was walking out, I said... "Brayden, please pick up the room by the time I get back." He KNOWS I can't stand toys being everywhere... so he immediately goes and tries to blame it on the 19 mo. old. I just kept walking, and closed the door. I was standing outside the door to see what he was going to do, and all the sudden I hear... "GOD, NATHANAEL! *thwap*" And Nathanael started crying. I ran back in the room and said, "WHAT WAS THAT?!" & he goes... "I slapped him in the head..." as he started crying because he knew he was busted. So, my question is... this is going to start making my 19 mo. old act out when he gets mad, and start hitting my 6 mo. old. Which in turn, is going to cause me to have a nervous break down. I know boys will be boys, but this is absolutely unnacceptable. I want to try the time out thing, but I'm just not sure that is a firm enough punishment. The only other thing the kid does is watch TV or play outside, and I have taken both of those away for the next hour. The only thing he's got at the moment is a few toys  that's it. I don't know what else to do! We've had so many problems lately with him crying when we tell him something to do, or crying because we tell him no, for whatever reason. It's driving me to my wits end! I've got two babies, I can't handle a third - especially because he's almost seven! There's no reason for this.

Please help!

by on Oct. 3, 2008 at 5:55 PM
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Replies (1-6):
impulsive1
by on Oct. 4, 2008 at 12:16 PM

Many times children act out because something is bothering them. You might want to talk with him and ask where he has learned to act this way. They learn these bad things from people around them. I taught 1st grade last year and had to put my 3 year old in day care- worst mistake ever! He had manners and was very well behaved. Once he started in day care he started hitting, throwing tantrums, and completely forgot all manners.

On another note, my oldest son has a different dad than my other two children, after he gets back from his dad's he has changed behavior as well. I witnessed why his behavior changes today. He went to his dad's yesterday and then this morning he was being aggressive to my second son. When his dad came back over to pick him up for the weekend his dad was rather mean to him. When I intervened he told me to be quiet and that he would talk to his son the way he wants to. Anyone have suggestions for this one???

leyash
by on Oct. 5, 2008 at 10:55 AM


Quoting impulsive1:

Many times children act out because something is bothering them. You might want to talk with him and ask where he has learned to act this way. They learn these bad things from people around them. I taught 1st grade last year and had to put my 3 year old in day care- worst mistake ever! He had manners and was very well behaved. Once he started in day care he started hitting, throwing tantrums, and completely forgot all manners.

On another note, my oldest son has a different dad than my other two children, after he gets back from his dad's he has changed behavior as well. I witnessed why his behavior changes today. He went to his dad's yesterday and then this morning he was being aggressive to my second son. When his dad came back over to pick him up for the weekend his dad was rather mean to him. When I intervened he told me to be quiet and that he would talk to his son the way he wants to. Anyone have suggestions for this one???

I am in the same boat as you. My oldest son has a different father than my other two kids, and he is HORRIBLE when he goes to his dad's house. I figured out it's because his dad and his girlfriend fought HORRIBLY when he was over there - so he was just an ANGRY kid when he would get back. I put a stop to that by not letting him go over there as long as his girlfriend was around. They have since broken up, so it's not an issue anymore. But I wasn't going to tolerate that. He doesn't go to his dad's but once a month anyway, so I want it to be a good experience, not one where people are angry all the time.

kcook55
by on Oct. 6, 2008 at 8:10 PM

why would you leave a 19 month old in a room alone with a 7 year old when you know he hits him in the first place?

Bobcatvalley
by on Oct. 6, 2008 at 8:45 PM

There is something else going on.  Maybe he is feeling left out and needs some one on one time.  I wouldn't leave him alone with the smaller children though.  Thats dangerous.

leyash
by on Oct. 7, 2008 at 9:30 AM


Quoting kcook55:

why would you leave a 19 month old in a room alone with a 7 year old when you know he hits him in the first place?

Because I'm a horrible mother. -smile-

Atleast, I think that's what you were hinting at! :]

leyash
by on Oct. 7, 2008 at 9:33 AM


Quoting Bobcatvalley:

There is something else going on.  Maybe he is feeling left out and needs some one on one time.  I wouldn't leave him alone with the smaller children though.  Thats dangerous.

The thing is, I don't normally just leave them locked in a room together. It would happen anywhere. They'd be outside playing, and Nathanael would start crying, or whatever... etc. I never just said... "Here, beat up on your brother -walks out of the room-"

Anyway... things have since been looking up. We had a lengthy discussion about it... and I think he finally understands what's going on, and why he can't do stuff like that.

I got him one of those stress balls that he has to squeeze 10 times real hard when he gets angry... and if Nathanael does something to him (Nathanael hits him, too - and he's a rough little dude, I've got bruises on me from him hitting me!), Brayden just hits him back. So, it's an ongoing battle, it's not like Brayden is just beating up on him... it's a two sided circumstance... the only difference is that Brayden is old enough to know better by now... and Nathanael doesn't quite understand me sitting down lecturing him.

So, we're getting somewhere, we haven't had another problem since this happened... so we'll see.

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