Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Calling all moms!

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:00 PM
  • 19 Replies

Ok fellow moms; I really need your help before the last train car in my brain enteres Crazytown.

Ever since my daughter was born (and she is 6 months now) she has been held a lot by other family memebrs (uncles, aunts, grandparents) etc.

Here is my problem:

Now, everytime I put her down anywhere, she has a fit, even if it is for a moment to unclasp my bra to breastfeed her.  She almost has a temper tantrum.

Is it possible she has been spoiled in the last few weeks by well-meaning family and friends but now she expects to be held all the time?

She does this all the time, whether she is hungry or not, sleepy or not or whatever.  I go through all the motions of trying to calm her and have even let her cry it out (which means she cries louder and harder and may or may not cry herself to sleep).

She kept me up till past 2:30 am on Tuesday night.

Please help.  Any and all advice would be welcome; I don't care how crazy it sounds.

I am loosing my mind!

babies

by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:00 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LavenderMom23
by Member on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:02 PM

Sounds spoilied to me.

SkysMom3808
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:10 PM

Just hang in there. It's hard I know. My son still likes to be held alot. He is getting better about playing in his walker or jumparoo.

gaalar
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:18 PM

Here's the thing.  My little guy is only 3 months and you are going to get lots of feedback about this.  If you feel that she is being to "clingy' than I would research that and talk to your doctor.  He will have some ideas.  The hardest thing to do is to let her cry it out.  They say that the first night can take a couple hours but it does get better.  I am in nursing school and everyone thinks differently on this subject.  I feel that the younger they are the better so you might want to start getting her out of the habit now.  Talk to your doctor though and see what he/she suggests. 

hannahridder
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:20 PM

If you put her down and try and play with things with her...what does she do? I use to lay on my back with my son and play with him with his floor mat thing. Maybe if you do it a little more time every day she can see playing is more fun than being held?? I dont really know, but you could try it. smile mini But it does get better, they dont want you to hold them once they get going!! LOL

baby boy *~Hannah~*

Lady_Zanthia
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:26 PM

Even when I get down and play with her, like on the floor, after we are done nursing (in my bed), she has a fit but not as bad.  If I am close she fusses but doesn't throw a tantrum.

When I first posted this a few minutes ago, she was screaming in her swing, so I calmly picked her up, put her in her crib and shut the bedroom door and let her cry it out.  Sif she thrashes around in there she won't get hurt.

After about 10 minutes, she had calmed down, so I went back in there and held her just for a few and talked to her.  Told her how much I loved her and stuff and then set her back down.  She fell asleep.

Is that a start?  I mean, is it okay to "reward" her after she has calmed down?  I know she is not that old.  I have heard that is more typical of how to deal with toddlers.

Also, what should I start saying to family.  My MIL thinks the reason she stayed up late was becuase of gas, which I totally don't buy.  His mom thinks that a baby can't be held to much so she holds my daughter even when she falls asleep on her, rather than pout her in bed, which irritates the crap outta me.

By the way, she is like Marie from Everybody loves Raymond.

Please keep the adivce coming.  I will speak to her doctor when I see her next, as she is due for shots soon anyway.

babies

zillionaire
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 6:28 PM

I am of the opinion that you not onIy cannot spoiI a baby, 10 years from now you won't even be abIe have a conversation with her without her roIIing her eyes and thinking you are a moron.  There are more important things to worry about than whether your daughter is getting too much Iove.

But to encourage her independance a IittIe bit, start by putting her on the fIoor near you with some interesting toys.  If she gets fussy, taIk to her and encourage her.  Soon she wiII reaIize that there are much more interesting things in the worId than her mother, and you'II be begging her to Iet you hoId her.

M.A.D.
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 6:40 PM

give it some time....i will not happend overnite, but yes, she got spoiled from all the people carrying her around...trust me do this now and give yourself and her time because if you don't do this now, you'll have a little girl like my niece who is 3 years going on 4 years in 03/09 who fights the babies just so she can be carried.....and now my sister-in-law regrets that she never got her used to being on her own

Quoting hannahridder:

If you put her down and try and play with things with her...what does she do? I use to lay on my back with my son and play with him with his floor mat thing. Maybe if you do it a little more time every day she can see playing is more fun than being held?? I dont really know, but you could try it. smile mini But it does get better, they dont want you to hold them once they get going!! LOL

 

leyash
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 6:43 PM

Yep.. spoiled.

My family did that to my second - because he was the first baby in a few years... so they spoiled him ROTTEN. & so did we.

I just had to let him cio (granted, he was 14mo. old by the time this started happening)... BUT, he became quite a bit more independant when he started crawling/moving around....

hot_momma88
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 6:58 PM

Infants can't be spoiled. They lack the mental capacity to cry simply for manipulation. Most babies get into a phase when they want to have constant attention and be held all the time. Don't fret, it will pass, and soon she won't have anything to do with you. My daughter is currently in this phase, and my best friends daughter is just coming out of it. She has a FIT if her mom trys to hold her, always wants to be on the ground or in her play pen, just crawling around or playing by herself.

My whole life in one smile. May 29, 2008 I became a mom.

sarelizt
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 8:21 PM

I agree that you can't spoil infants. 

Have you tried a sling?  I used this a lot and it lets you be more comfortable and still able to do other things while you are holding her.  The book I found helpful on this subject is The Baby Book by Dr. Sears.  The book goes into a lot of detail about "attachment parenting" and the distinction between this parenting style and "spoiling" your child.  I used the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder sling, which was fantastic.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)