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Babies Babies

Ok fellow moms; I really need your help before the last train car in my brain enteres Crazytown.

Ever since my daughter was born (and she is 6 months now) she has been held a lot by other family memebrs (uncles, aunts, grandparents) etc.

Here is my problem:

Now, everytime I put her down anywhere, she has a fit, even if it is for a moment to unclasp my bra to breastfeed her.  She almost has a temper tantrum.

Is it possible she has been spoiled in the last few weeks by well-meaning family and friends but now she expects to be held all the time?

She does this all the time, whether she is hungry or not, sleepy or not or whatever.  I go through all the motions of trying to calm her and have even let her cry it out (which means she cries louder and harder and may or may not cry herself to sleep).

She kept me up till past 2:30 am on Tuesday night.

Please help.  Any and all advice would be welcome; I don't care how crazy it sounds.

I am loosing my mind!

babies

by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 5:00 PM
Replies (11-19):
Lady_Zanthia
by on Oct. 10, 2008 at 10:57 PM

I had a sling when she was a newborn but she is way too big (not to mention heavy) for it now.  I did buy a carrier (lkike a backpack but baby can sit and be carried hands-free) but even that hurts one's back and shoulders after an hour or so.  Granted, my hands are free, but other things, like dishes or making the bed, are pretty much impossible.

I know I will miss this when she doesn't wanna be held but it's really frustrating when we are all tired and she is used to be rocked and then held while she sleeps by others.

It's hard asserting myself when it comes to my daughter becuase family makes me out to be a bitch when all I am trying to do is look out for the well-being of my daughter.

Case in point: My SIL tried to feed my little one, chocolate frosting, pizza sauce and ice cream before she was 3 months old.  I and my mom had a fit and it came out (somehow) to be my fault.

I will keep working with my daughter on playing on the floor, etc.  After her fit today, she actually did very well playing in her bouncer for about a half hour by herself.

babies

sarelizt
by on Oct. 12, 2008 at 2:10 PM

Take a look at the Over The Shoulder Baby Holder beacause it accomodates much larger children (up to toddlers) and it is truly comfortable, although it can make you pretty warm depending on what your climate is like.

Lady_Zanthia
by on Oct. 12, 2008 at 11:46 PM

I'm in NW Ohio so it's getting cooler outside.  However, I am still a walking furnace most days.

She is getting a little better.  Once she has had 10 mins to scream by herself, she seems to calm down and be happy once again.  The fact that she is teething at long last doesn't help either, especially when she refuses to nap well and is cranky as all get out.

I guess I am still getting used to what all her cries mean.

babies

LogansMommy8608
by on Oct. 13, 2008 at 9:58 AM

u cannot spoil a new born. they just want you.

Danesmommy1
by on Oct. 13, 2008 at 11:14 AM

Infants don't have the mental capacity to be spoiled.  It's just not psychologically possible.  At 6 months it may be seperation anxiety.  Around that age is when babies want to be close to you all the time.  My boy is 7 months and doesn't like it if he can't see me.  If I leave the room I just take him with me so he doesn't get upset. 

Elke

Lady_Zanthia
by on Oct. 13, 2008 at 12:29 PM

I guess I wantr to know what all of you do when you have this situation?  There are times when I can't pick her up and when I have to leave her on the floor or in her crib, etc.

How do you ladies deal with those kinds of scenarios?  Do I jut need to grin and bear it until I can attend to her again or what?

babies

silvermoondust
by on Oct. 13, 2008 at 12:32 PM

At around the age of 6 months many babies experience separation anxiety. My little girl went through a phase of that when she was 6 months. She's now 8 months, and she's gotten a lot better about it, but sometimes she still wants to just be held and carried around.

Babies this age cannot be spoiled. Common sense really. Do infants really have the capacity to try to manipulate people? They can't. They can when they're toddlers, but not as infants.

Your baby just loves you and loves being held by you. She probably hasn't learned the concept of object permanence either. This is an intellectual skill in which babies recognize what is and isn't present, whether it be objects or people. How this ties into your situation is that your baby cries every time you put her down. All she knows is that you've left her but she doesn't understand that you will simply either pick her back up again or return to her later.

You can have her learn this by playing peekaboo a lot with her, or taking one of her toys and hiding it from her and letting her try to find it. You can even start teaching her how to say bye to you when you put her down or leave her with someone else. In time, she will learn that objects, and people, can be hidden, or "go away" from her but they return. And then she'll understand that essentially things that are not seen or go away from her still exists. Once she understands this perhaps she won't be so clingy. Give it time, she'll be fine.

Bobcatvalley
by on Oct. 13, 2008 at 12:36 PM

you cant always hold a baby and they have to learn how to self sooth.  make sure the fingernails are trimmed down for times they are crying it out, 

Quoting Lady_Zanthia:

I guess I wantr to know what all of you do when you have this situation?  There are times when I can't pick her up and when I have to leave her on the floor or in her crib, etc.

How do you ladies deal with those kinds of scenarios?  Do I jut need to grin and bear it until I can attend to her again or what?


silvermoondust
by on Oct. 13, 2008 at 12:44 PM

Oh and I second the sling or carrier. Get one that doesn't hurt your back, like something where you can hold her on your hip or something.

I've got a Bjorn carrier for when my daughter has one of those days when she wants to be held. And yes, it is hard to do things while carrying her in it (she's 20 pounds). But I wear it for 45 minutes to an hour at most and I'm able to get some things done.

Does she have a bouncy chair or seat or playpen you could keep nearby while you try to get stuff done? You could put her in one of these while you walk around the house and she can keep an eye on you. Keep talking to her and engaging her while you walk around and do what you have to do. This is what I do with my daughter. I just carry her little bouncy chair around or move her travel playpen so that I can plop her down and she can still see me while I'm walking around the house.

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