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SCREAM **2nd update in purple!**

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I had my daughter on Monday, and so far I have HATED every minute of it. I have never wanted to be a mom, and now that feeling has really hit me. I am not saying that I don't feed her and what not, I just don't want to. I hate when I hear her cry, and hate having to go to her. I want life the way it was. When I found out I was prego I considered all my options, and was to afraid to have an abortion. I think mainly because I thought it would end my marriage. Now, I wish I would have. I am hoping this feeling will go away. But I don't know. I get the feeling of wanting to run, and I don't want to because I cant live without my best friend, my husband. What do I do? I am getting so depressed, and  i am seriously starting to hate life. I am crying as I write this. Please, I beg you all to have a heart and help me, and not bash me.

So I went to the doctor today, and she told me that I do have PPD. She also decided to put me on some medication, which she said will help. I have also been instructed not to be alone with the baby, so my husbands family (mainly his mom) is going to help me with this while he works. I am still unclear about being alone by myself, but we will see as time goes. I also was given my doctors cell number, she said if I ever needed her, to call. She wants me to call with updates on how I am doing and such. Whether its me or my husband who calls. She also wants me to call before I do anything stupid. I am glad I have such a nice doctor. Thank you all for all of your advice and support. I hope to be doing better sometime soon. For now, its a waiting game.

OK, so I thought I would give another update. My depression had gotten worse, and the type pf medication the Dr put me on was one of the causes. Also, many other negative things happened in the same month. I lost my grandmother, my job, my car, and my health. Well things have started to turn around. I got my job back, with a better paying position, and I am on a medication that is helping. Also, I have started counseling which has done wonders so far! I am now looking forward to each day, and not so afraid of it. Also, I have been able to spend a little more time with my daughter each day, so that's good. I am still working on my bond with her, but I know it will get here one day; hopefully sometime soon! Thanks to all who was there for me!@

baby

Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker
by on Nov. 8, 2008 at 7:47 PM
Replies (31-40):
mama2jarednrae
by on Nov. 11, 2008 at 5:32 PM

Well Im glad you got help that you needed!!!  I wish you the best!! 

in love       ice cream   baby in sling


*Wife to Mike*               *SAHM to Jared and baby Raegen*

firedragoneyes
by on Nov. 11, 2008 at 5:41 PM

i am glad to hear you are doing better.  good luck things do get better.  Hugs to you

ashleighmcg
by on Nov. 11, 2008 at 5:44 PM

im glad you went and got help. with the medication and time things will get better. i have heard it takes some moms awhile to get used to having a baby. my dr told me all about this subject.

good luck!


hmdfeather
by on Nov. 11, 2008 at 5:56 PM

Im really proud of you! You are soooo brave! Please keep us updated on how things are going.. and screw anyone who says anything bad at all! I was not one of those moms who was head over heals in love w/ my daughter right at first. I love her more than anything in the world now... but it can be such a life change that you go into panic mode. I wish you the best of luck and hope things get better really really really fast!!! Again.. if you need anything at all let me know :  ) I will never judge and can be very supportive!

shortie01
by on Nov. 11, 2008 at 8:59 PM

I glad to hear that your doing better. I have the same thoughts after I had my second LO. He would be crying and his sister would start and all I would want to do is jump out the window. Lucky for me my mom stay with us for three weeks after I had him. It really helps to have someone to talk to. Hang in there and remember to take things one day at a time.

I'm the mother of two kids under 2 years old. I must be crazy. LOL

Efry
by on Nov. 11, 2008 at 9:30 PM

I'm so glad you talked to your doctor....take your meds, take advantage of MIL, get some sleep every chance you get, and relax....it will get better with time.

lverdone
by on Nov. 12, 2008 at 12:16 PM

I am glad  that the doctor and your family are supportive.  You need their help and will hopefully get better soon. 

athenaheim
by on Nov. 12, 2008 at 1:59 PM

Thats great I am glad that you were able to go in and get some help. That shows real character. Be sure to keep us updated occasionally.

Junecleo
by on Nov. 12, 2008 at 4:54 PM

  Good job!  We all know you're a good mommy, because you reached out and got help when you needed it!

 The meds will take awhile to really take effect, but take advantage of help now and try to relax.  Exercise helps...just get out and take a little walk or something every day.

  Stay in touch with your Dr.  Some meds don't work for some people, but there are several to try.  So if the first one doesn't work, let the Dr. know.

  Hang in there...things will be great, soon!

alliesmom81
by on Nov. 12, 2008 at 10:55 PM

I hope the meds help : ) Good luck and im so happy you got help !

cornucopia

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