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sleeping!!!??? HELP ME PLEASE

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 1:18 PM
  • 5 Replies

so Manfredo is now 15 months....and honestly since he's been born I really don't think I've slept through the night unless he's staying somewhere else. At around 5 months maybe he stopped waking up to eat...but since then he still randomly wakes up, just to cry or look for me or needs his binky...Here's the background, when he was born it was mainly me and him becuase his father worked all the time, so yes I did put him in bed with me a lot. I know that's bad...but when I was pretty much a single parent, I did not have the energy to go into his room and feed him and then put him back to bed in his crib...3 or 4 times a night. I know other parents to do it...I am just a very horrible person when I do not get my sleep. Anyways, i did start putting him in his crib and he slept and napped in it with no problem. Well we get to him being 6,7,8,9 10 months and we got our own apartment. It was a 1 bedroom, so Yes I did still have his crib, but he would not sleep through the night. He would wake up looking for me or my boyfriend(his father). Well we'd try to just let him sooth himself back to sleep,never worked...he would scream for 20 mins at least, then make himself throw up!! So then he knew i'd have to go in and get him. He would even do this if we laid him down a lot, whether he was half asleep, or asleep or  just tired...he would flip. So anyways when he actually did sleep alone, he'd wake up every hour or two looking for us and freaking, and he knew we were there since we all shared a room(big mistake). One of us would go over and sooth him,turn on his music, give him his binky...you know, we'd get him back to sleep and as soon as you move n go back to bed, BOOM, he's up screaming again. Well after dealing with this all the time,each night we said fine, he went to sleeping with us again!!! Even when he sleeps with us he has lil nightmares but not as bad, but he still wakes up sometimes. So now I try again a few weeks later with the crib at nap time, doesn't work, he ends up climbing out n falling right on his head!!! I still have no idea how, so forget it, crib is down!!!! We end up moving and now he has his own room and a toddler bed, hahaha toddler bed is in our room becuase he still will not sleep without one of us, mainly me!!! I have tried a few times, to put him in his bed when he is sleeping, he'll sleep in it for an hour or two,(just like he did with the crib) and wakes up as soon as he realizes we aren't next to him!!! So I go over, sooth him,give him his blanky,binky and lay him back down, say shhhh mommys here..he goes back to sleep and i sit next to his bed for a few minutes(as long as I can before I pass out on the floor) and I go back to bed when he goes back to sleep!!!! Now he wakes up again within 10 minutes...or sometimes he may actually sleep another hour or two before he wakes up screaming. So here I am again, soooo tired from not getting any sleep and I am sooo sick of waking up 4 times a night!!! now he is sleeping with me again...But here's the thing, he will nap in his bed!!! So please, mothers< any advice you have please share it.....I am at my wits end...I cannot deal anymore!!! PLEASE HELP

Love,Courtney & Manfredo

 

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 1:18 PM
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Replies (1-5):
courtneyln
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 7:05 PM

someone??? anyone

Love,Courtney & Manfredo

 

princesspalace
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 7:24 PM

Wow, I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time!  I know when I don't get enough sleep I am sooo cranky and it's hard to get stuff done through out the day.  Well I would say he's having some separation anxiety.  With having gotten used to sleeping with you and the moving and getting a new bed.  I think at this point you just need to be CONSISTENT!  Decide that he needs to start sleeping in his own bed and stick to it.  Get a routine started for him, same thing every night.... ie. bath, book/song, bed.  Maybe introduce a 'comfort' item- soft blanket or stuffed animal that he can sleep with every night.  It's going to take him some time to adjust but don't give up.  Make sure you're putting him in his bed before he's actually asleep so he can fall asleep by himself.  And when he wakes up wait a few minutes to go to him then soothe him if he's still crying.... but don't bring him into your bed!  It's not going to happen overnight but eventually he will see that you mean business and that you are still there when he wakes up.  Good luck- I hope things get better soon!  :)

jossie.marie
by on Jan. 22, 2009 at 6:13 AM

i have not had this problem myself but my friend did and she used technics recomment by a child minder.

it was heartbreaking to do but every night same time she would have her dd clean and in bed, the daughter could then pick on book and her mum would read to her for half and hour, once this was done, she would get a kiss tucked in and wished goodnight  and left the room

now this is where it got hard, the first time her daughter got out of bed she had to say, back to bed, and take her daughter right back, then walk out no matter how much her daughter cried or kicked off.

the second time her daughter got up she just said bed. and again matched her back, and all times after that she would say nothing and just put her back in bed.

the first night my friend was on the phone in tears, her dd just kept getting up was screaming so hard she was making herself sick and she was sure she couldnt do it.

but i told her to pursaveer, and she did.

eventually her daughter fell asleep, and did not wake up till morning which was unheard of before. for this little girl.

the next night it took half the time.

and every night after that it got easier and easier.

her little daughter is coming up for three now, and sleeps through the night and often sleeps till later in the morning than her mum.

she also gets a reward each morning for being good, which is a simple star on a reward chart, especailly for her sleeping and if she does a whole week of good nights she gets a  treat.

it really worked but it does take persaveranc and does mean you have to stay firm and not give in.

best of luck joss.

pagan 1

ConnorsMommy521
by on Jan. 22, 2009 at 7:40 AM

I agree with the previous posts.  You will have a few nights of frustration, but just think about the rewards of sleep you wil have.

I too have a hard time getting up to feed my little one and have put him in the bed with me.  DOn't feel bad about that.  Just be consistent, even if he is crying, he's not dying. 

Good Luck.

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tiffanysgirls
by on Jan. 22, 2009 at 8:47 AM
Well, I am a firm believer in cosleeping if a child needs it. My DD#1 needed to be slept with and we let her sleep with us until she was 4. It really was not difficult for us to get her to start sleeping in her own room. I honestly can't even remember how we did it! My DD#2 and DD#3 never wanted to cosleep and that was fine also. I believe you should let your children tell you what they need when it comes to affection or comfort. And, it didn't hurt our sex life.....you just get more creative! Also, I noticed that when we moved DD#1 out of her crib too early (18 months) it made it difficult for her to sleep on her own. Whereas....when we moved DD#2 out of her crib at a later age (she was nearly 3) we had NO problems with the transition.
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