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Thinking about having another baby....

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:32 AM
  • 12 Replies

Okay so I currently have an 11 month old who will be 1 on aug husband is currently deployed to Iraq and he'll be home in 3 months...I have an appt to get back on birth control but I kinda wanna have another baby. I know my husband wants another and he's all for it..hell he wanted me to get pregnant as soon as we had  I'm thinking this one will be my last baby so if we happen to get preg not long after he comes home then Collin will be a little older than 2 yrs old when the next one would be born..Im wondering for moms who have done this how tough is it to have a 2 yr old and a baby. I'm hoping my husband wont deploy again in a year bc there is talk about changing the time they have to be home before they can leave again to 20-36 months but if they dont then he could be deployed again in a year so I could be doing this all by myself!!! I'm curious too if I have them 2 yrs apart how does that do as they grow older. Basically I'm curious is it better to have them closer together or farther apart or does it really matter? So far Collin is an awesome little boy who pretty much never cries and does his own thing alot so I"m hoping the terrible twos wont be so terrible but I'm sure he'll have his moments...anyways what do you think I should do? Have another one sometime in the next 6 months or wait a year or more?

Thanks ladies

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:32 AM
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by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:45 AM

well I cant help out to much cause im not there yet. but I got pregnant when my DD was 1. She is 16 months and I am 21 weeks pregnant with our second. My husband will also be deploying shortly after the baby is born.....we dont know due in december and he is going to deploy anywhere from jan-may lol but we dont know when.  I personally grew up very close in age to my brothers. Im talking my mom popped 3 out in 3 years hahahahahaha. I loved being that close in age to my brothers and my cousins and stuff. my 3rd child will be a little bit further apart just because we are wiating to see how the military and economy is gonna be. anyway good luck with your decision!!!!! sorry if I didnt help much.

by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 9:48 AM

I have two girls who are 20 months apart and it's definitely not easy.  My hubby works one full time job and a part time job so he's gone a lot of the time and taking care of a baby and a toddler plus dealing with housework, grocery shopping, etc. is not easy alone!  If your hubby does get deployed, I hope you have someone to help you!!  I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom but there are days that my sanity is gone.  I'm sure I will be glad when they're older that they are close in age and hopefully they will be close as sisters but it's definitely not easy!!  Both are very needy and want your attention all the time.  Having kids close together or far apart both have their pros and cons I guess.  Good luck with your decision!

by on Aug. 9, 2009 at 9:07 PM

My son will be 5 months tomorrow and we are thinking about having another.  My sisters and I were all 18 months apart and we get along great. I have friends that are years apart from their siblings and it is the same way, when they are older of course.  About your hubby possibly being deployed at the time it will be hard.  My hubby had to go to training for a month 10 days after I gave birth and it was extremely hard but you can do it.  If you have help around that would be a big plus.

by on Aug. 10, 2009 at 10:24 AM

I have 3 boys ages 4, 3 and 15mo.  My middle son was born with Down Syndrome and did not walk until he was 21/2.  It is challenging but well worth it. I am a SAHM and am with the boys all the time.  I don't have family around here to help me out, but do look forward to going to visit my parents in MI for a break twice a year.  My DH works 2 jobs so i hardly get to spend time with him.  I just know that the boys won't be this young forever and soon i will have 3 helpers!!! I say go for another child if that is what you and your hubby want.  I know i want one more child, but i plan to wait a little while.  I think the rewards of raising children outweigh the challenges and hard times.

by on Aug. 10, 2009 at 12:55 PM

My daughter was due the day my son turned 2 ½ (she came 4 days earlier thou) and it’s perfect for us…my son is fighting us on potty training so I have two in diapers (he’ll be 3 on the 30th of Aug and she is almost 6 months now), but honestly, I love having them this close…it can be a hassle sometimes because he is a mama’s boy and wants my attention when I’m feeding or changing the baby, but as long as I let him “help” me, he is really good…I actually would’ve gladly had them closer together (1-2 yrs apart rather then 2 ½ yrs), but DH was putting it off…good luck! :) 

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by on Aug. 10, 2009 at 12:59 PM

My mom had 4 children, all 2.5 years apart and then there was a 9 year gap between the 4th and 5th. I always wanted mine to be no more than 2 years apart. I can' say how hard it will be raising them, but growing up close is so much more fun!

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by on Aug. 11, 2009 at 9:50 PM

hey,when my daughter was 1 year old, i found out i was pregnant with my 2nd child.. im not gonna lie, it was something to adjust to, i would cry sometimes wondering if i could do it.. and then i got pregnant with my 3rd child when my 2nd child was 10 months old.. i think it was easier with the 3rd one cause the older 2 would play while i tend to the baby etc... but when i laid the baby on a blanket in the floor they wanted to be right there on top of him.... they love to my 3rd child is 13 months old, my other 2 are 2 and 4... now im pregnant with my 4th child... this is it for me... it does get hectic and hard sometimes and i dont know which end is up.... i would love to make friends with other moms.....i am a sahm as well....

by on Aug. 11, 2009 at 10:14 PM

The age difference between my first two is almost 3 yrs. and it was perfect for us.  Our oldest daughter was completely potty trained and such a big helper when our 2nd daughter was born.  Then when our 2nd was only 9 mos. old I found out I was pregnant again... talk about panic!  lol  It seemed totally scary at the time but now that I'm getting near the end of my pregnancy (I'm due Sept. 18th) it seems manageable.  I know I'll have my hands full with a 4 1/2 yr. old, 18 mos. old, and a newborn but I know that somehow we'll be ok.  :)  I know my oldest will be a big help although I am worried how our middle child will react.  She is already a pretty rough & tough kid and also clingy with me so I know she's not going to like sharing mommy.  But I'd say that in general a 2-3 yr age gap is ideal.  I think you'll be fine if you start trying when your husband gets home.  Good luck!  :)     

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 8:15 PM

It is great to know that there are other mamas out there feeling the same way. DH and I always wanted two children. I wanted them close in age though. My brother and i are 4 years apart and have never really ever been close. As have alot of people i talked to and the opposite for those that were close in age. Our daughter is 13 months. Dh and i have been going back and forth deciding if we can do this and such. Just today, we've decided go for it. We want them close in age, so why keep pushing it off and causing a bigger gap. Otherwise we may continue on the fence until they would be just as far apart. I'd rather have two in diapers, then get one done with diapers and start all over again! LOL!! Also, the BIGGEST REASON i would like them to be somewhat into the same "development". Obviously not right away but eventually, they will both like to paint, color, play outside and such about the same time and they can enjoy each other. Good luck mama!! Hope your hubs can stay home for a bit. Let us know how all goes!!!!  HUGS

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by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:34 PM

Hi i wanted to respond because my kids are like 21-22 months apart... i got pregnant on my first sons first birthday! ugghhh talk about hard!! being sick and not feeling good at all and having a baby (toddler ya know) to take care of! I remember like it was yesterday, going grocery shopping and my son not wanting to walk into the grocery store he falls right to the groud in the middle of the road so i have to drag him in the store by one arm and big huge pregnant in the florida heat! not fun at all!!! But if you have help then go for it! i didnt at all -- im married but he work all the time and i still worked 12hr shifts overnight fri, sat, and sun.... i was exhausted and at my whits end! My boys are 21 months and 3 1/2 years! It is very hard but sometimes they play so good and the little one doesnt speak very well yet but they still seem to understand eachother and play together great! its just hard to have a baby dependent on you when your other child doesnt understand to be quiet and calm, "no you cant throw the baby!"...  think about it girl!!! its all about what you can do!!

good luck


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