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confused and needing advice

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:22 AM
  • 5 Replies

Ok so here it is i am confused and am not sure what to do.  My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years, we have two beautiful daughters, 2 and a half years and 2 and a half months.  I think i am a pretty good mom with lots of patients. I take care of them the best i can, i work, i do all the cleaning, all the laundary, and all the grocery shopping, oh yeah and all the cooking, and pay half if not more of the bills.  So my thing is that he plays this damn online game (WOW) world of warcraft, and i hate it.  It takes up all of his time when he is not working, oh yeah and hes not working that much lately either, business is slow for him.  He's been playing this game for about 2 years now and he is so addicted to it its rediculous.  We dont fight at all except about this game.  It has almost split us up more than once and he does not want to compromise.  It also makes him nasty to me and the girls when he is playing, if he gets interrupted while playing, he yells and gets a bad attitude.  I have told him that if it doesnt change that i am done, i cant take it anymore.  Just recently he has added some of the people he plays on there with to his msn, and talks with them through there now to.  Now i am not a jealous person until i saw some of the things that are being said which should not be at all, if you have a girlfriend.  I have not yet talked to him about this but i want to and am not sure how to approach the situation.  I feel so alone cause i dont have the man i fell in love with, we barely talk about anything.  When i bring this up to him it changes a ittle for like a week then goes back.......we just recently had another argument about it and decided we where gonna split up and now he is being all sweet and caring again....so what do i do, set myself up to get hurt again or be strong and just say i dont want this anymore?  I also havent told him that i saw what he was saying to this girl either......so please help me out here 

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:22 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Mommy2seven
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:24 AM

If I were you I'd seperate and tell him to get his priorities straight and then maybe he can come back.  Guys think that a little sweet talk can smooth over a whole load of pain and hurt they have caused with their selfishness.  You not asking him to take over all the house hold duties you just want a little bit of help and you deserve it!  

I have heard a lot of BAD things about the WOW game.  If he is talking dirty with women on msn that is no different then him talk dirty them on the phone or in person its communications that he SHOULD not be having.

If you don't put your foot down now you will go through life banging your head on the wall hun.  I'm sorry to say this but be prepared for either him leaving and staying gone or him leaving and changing.  But over all you deserve better then what he is giving you and you can at least say you stood up for yourself and gave him a real chance cause he is not standing up and being the man/father you need him to be in your life.  I do believe that families should stay together and work everything out but you can't be the only one willing to bend, you will eventually break.  He has to put the effort in also and if he is not willing to then he has left you no choice.

Good luck hun and if you need to vent send me a pm * hugs * 

                  
                 

monie1579
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:32 AM

thank you so much

RavishingMama
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:42 AM

I'm sorry you are having a rough time, I know it sucks.  I went through with something similar with my hubby.  I am sure he needs to spend more time with his family, not random people in WOW, especially if he is talking inappropriately with other women!  I would consider that cheating, maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally!  I understand the game is addicting and is an easy way to escape responsibility, but he needs to decide if it's more important that you and his kids.  I think you need to really talk this out with him (away from the computer) and tell him how you feel, tell him all the things you miss about him and what you don't like about him now.  

Just remember to stick to your guns (whatever you decide) because he will never change if you keep backing down.  Good luck and I'm a good listener if you need it!

KirasMom2004
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 5:34 PM

I'll start my post with one opinion. WOW is the devil. OK not literally, but it's a horrible thing for some people. My brother plays every now and then, and my SIL really doesn't mind. But when I say every now and then, I mean like an hour or two a week. I've met quite a few people who are very different in their addictions to it. My mother left my father 2 weeks ago for a guy she met in game who is only a year older than I am.

As far as the time thing goes, you need to tell him how overwhelmed you are with everything. You get overwhelmed and frustrated, he plays more because he doesn't want to deal with you, you get worse, he plays more... it just keeps going. Before you know it, he's on there all the time and you're doing everything.

As far as the conversation with the other girl goes, it needs to be addressed. Obviously he thinks that talking this way with other women is OK when it's not. Emotional affairs are just as damaging as physical ones. If he makes a stink about it, just ask him how he would feel if you were flirting with a guy online.

He needs to get himself sorted out. Tough as it may be for you, a trial separation may be just the right dose of medicine. Pretty soon he'll realize what really matters; you and those beautiful little girls that he helped create. Not some character that he has leveled to 80. Good luck gorgeous!

amenia
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 5:07 PM

im s mother of two a boy who is about to turn three and a newborn girl i play Guild Wars which is like WOW but never should a game come between you and your family and never should something be said to another girl when you have a girlfriend i would leave him and get over him its obvious he doesnt want to change cause he goes right back to how it was before after a week so im coming outof an abusive relationship as it is except im married not dating and you should not be treated like that nor should your kids when he snaps out at everyone cause he gets interupted during his game and if he talking to another female like that while he is with you to me that would tell me that i would obviously not be good enough for him if he has to have more than one female like that whether he actually be with her or not talking in a purogitive way to me is cheating and any man that is like that does not deserve a good woman like yourself you say you are a great mom and you take care of a lot and i believe you you live your life and that makes you a great woman and you shouldnt have a man that is bringing you down like he is you have been through the hurt more than once by the sounds of it its always the same why should this time be any different men dont change very easily it takes a lot to make them change or even to start to really think a change might be good the question is this do you want to stay with him and take the very high chance that it will happen again which from the sounds of it is like 99.9% chance of happening again or actually leave this time take the time to get over him and eventually find somebody else everyone should be happy and that definitely includes you being happy well every female at least and every male that is decent and cares should be happy in my book happiness comes from within you dont need a man to make you happy just like a man dont need a woman to make them happy example him and wow wow makes him happy and will whether or not your there or not 

Good luck on your decision update us and let us know how it is going and what you decided to do God will help you make your decision Good Luck I hate to see you hurt but sometimes it happens for the greater good or something like that i like to try to believe that that is true at least lol Good Luck

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