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Why did you decide NOT to find out...

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:08 PM
  • 14 Replies

When I tell people that we are not finding out the sex of our baby, they look at me like there is a giant booger hanging out of my nose or something. The concept is competely foreign to them and they keep trying to talk me into finding out.

So, for those of you who did not find out what you were having, what made you decide to keep it a surprise? How did you deal with people trying to change your mind?

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by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:08 PM
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ElijahsMom211
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:10 PM

I'm not a person who's not finding out but I wanted to say that those that did find out and think you're totally crazy b/c you don't want to need to keep their opinions to themselves and just try to share in your excitement! I could TOTALLY see the fun and excitement in NOT finding out, but I'm WAY too impatient (and way to big of a planner) to not find out.. PLUS I don't have the patience that is needed to deal w/30+ (people from work and everyone else I know) people bugging me b/c they don't know what I'm having, I'm not a nice person lately and I'm liable to snap! LOL

Cynthje
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:11 PM

I didnt find out with either one of my kids because to me its one of the last real surprises in life! I loved not knowing and nobody tried to change my mind at all (in my culture its not normal to tell everybody the gender and name)

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amy31308
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:13 PM

We found out with our son. We're on the fence with this one. I really want to find out but I equally DON'T want to find out. lol I would love that surprise but I love shopping too much! If its a girl, I will have to buy everything for a girl... meanwhile if its a boy I already have everything. So I will either have ALOT of shopping to do or not so much shopping. And I really don't know if I want to wait until after the birth to go shopping for everything with a 2 year old and a newborn lol. I'll probaby find out :-P


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sissychristi
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:14 PM

I did have a friend who found out the gender and picked out a name but did not share it with anyone else until after he was born. People thought she was crazy/lame for doing it, but I thought it was awesome. Something that was only shared with mom and dad. Sometimes I think that people are too involved in other's business. Like they feel entitled to be included on the details of YOUR amazing experience.

Quoting Cynthje:

I didnt find out with either one of my kids because to me its one of the last real surprises in life! I loved not knowing and nobody tried to change my mind at all (in my culture its not normal to tell everybody the gender and name)


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sissychristi
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:17 PM

I am only 18 weeks and I already have everything. Lots of different colors, and gender neutral colors are surprisingly easy to find right now.

Plus, it gives you an excuse to hit more stores..."but honey, I have to go there. Everything everywhere else is just pink or blue"

Besides, after the baby comes and people find out what you are having, the flood of pink and blue will come rushing in.

Quoting amy31308:

We found out with our son. We're on the fence with this one. I really want to find out but I equally DON'T want to find out. lol I would love that surprise but I love shopping too much! If its a girl, I will have to buy everything for a girl... meanwhile if its a boy I already have everything. So I will either have ALOT of shopping to do or not so much shopping. And I really don't know if I want to wait until after the birth to go shopping for everything with a 2 year old and a newborn lol. I'll probaby find out :-P


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gacgbaker
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:27 PM

I just said that we already had one of each so I didn't need to know and either way we were prepared... but with the first one you can't say that, so I am sure that doesn't help! 

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sissychristi
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:29 PM

I have a SS and SD. So since we have one of each running around, we don't have our hopes up for boy or girl. Either is fine.

He didn't find out with his two kids and said the decision was easy.

Quoting gacgbaker:

I just said that we already had one of each so I didn't need to know and either way we were prepared... but with the first one you can't say that, so I am sure that doesn't help! 


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carliemarie1015
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:45 PM

I think it's a WONDERFUL idea to not find out! I have a son, but we found out the gender with him...if we have a girl next and opt for a 3rd child, I don't want to find out the sex...cause we would already have one of each, and everything we needed...so I hope to do that someday....lol!

hang in there, I think it's awesome to save the surprise!

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desertwannab
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:50 PM

I thought about not finding out with this one because I had 2 boys and i didn't want to be disappointed to hear "It's  A BOY" again.  But then a friend of mine told me she didn't find out with her 3rd (she had 2 girls already) and when the baby came out and was another girl, she said she was so depressed and it took her WEEKS to build that bond with the baby.  Not that I would think I would do that too, but it REALLY freaked me out just incase.  I decided I wanted to find out, cuz if the depression hit while I was pregnant, I would have at least 4 months to adjust!  Sounds silly I'm sure...

I wish I was strong enough to not find out!

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Prncss_Rose
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 2:14 PM

We decided not to found out with our DS.  Pregnancy had been a surprise, and why not keep the sex a surprise too.  I wanted that moment when the doctor says, its a....  Also, there was a part of me worried, what if they're wrong?  I loved walking around talking to the baby and wondering who they were, what they would be like and if the baby was a boy or a girl.

 Yes, everyone under the sun thought we were crazy for not finding out.  Yes, we had people actually angry and tell us it wasn't fair to them that we didn't find out.  We even had several who were POSITIVE that we had already found out and just weren't telling people.  At first I tried to calmly reason with people as to why, but by then end I would just say because we want to be surprised and move on with the conversation.  It was our choice, and I knew that it wasn't going to be the first time that everyone questioned our parenting techniques.

In the end, it was completely worth it.   And while I have nothing against parents who find out ahead of time and I'm sure its just as special for them, for me, what fun is it unwrapping a present that you already know what is inside?


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