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Need some thoughts

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:33 AM
  • 9 Replies

Okay here is the situation. It may be too personal but I don't want to talk about this with any of my friends so I am looking for some thoughts here. I am eight months pregnant and I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not but my husband never seems to want to have sex anymore. The only time we ever do anything is if he thinks I am going to complain about it all night and then we do something. We only have sex once a week if that and it doesn't seem romantic at all. It's really got me upset because he shows no interest at all as far as having sex or any kind of physical contact. There are two things that I am pretty sure are not the reason for him being like this. This is my third pregnancy so I know that he's not afraid of hurting the baby or anything like that. The other thing is that I know he isn't cheating because he gos to work and comes home everyday after work. We are always together as a family and he never gos anywhere without us. I guess there could be sombody on his mind at work but I try not to think that way.  My fear here is that he's fallen out of love with me. Like I said, he's always with the family and acts like he wants to make me happy but I've just noticed that he has no interest in sex. While some may think that is not important, I don't expect to do something every day but I need to have some physical contact with my husband sometime. Raging hormones here. I have been really depressed about my dad dying last January and I look to my husband for comfort and to just listen to me and he just seems emotionally unavailable. I am so upset thinking about this stuff right now. I did mention my feelings to him during an argument earlier and he told me that he tries to be there for me and he knows that we don't have a sex life anymore but he didn't really elaborate on why. Please give me thoughts on this. As an outsider, what do you think? Does anyone else feel this way in their marriage?

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:33 AM
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Replies (1-9):
stefro87
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:40 AM

 ..... maybe hes feelin a lil stressed bout work and the baby coming soon and your pregnant so its getting to u more than it usually would ..... thats how i felt with my first ..... hope this helps a lil

klg25
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:47 AM

So I'm almost 8 months also and mine and I do not really do it as much either. Our situation is the mechanics of it though. lol. Like, when we do have sex I always complain about every position not being comfortable so..it has made my interest drop a little. Of course mine works a lot too and he just comes home right after work too and he's pretty tired too. However you can always just straight up ask him..like, "Why has your sex drive gone down so much?" ..I ask brutally honest questions to my DF all the time. Usually its not as bad as you think...Good luck..just try to talk to him about it in the most open way and see what happens.

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stefro87
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:49 AM

what she said

Karebear6101
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:55 AM

I have tried to talk to him and he knows that I like to be kissed and hugged. He is aware that the sex issue bothers me but he doesn't do anything to change our situation. He did say that time we lay down at night, he is always so tired. Besides the sex issue, he doesn't kiss or really take interest in any physical contact anymore so I don't know what to think.

housefullofkidz
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:57 AM

That was my thoughts. He probably has alot on his mind. Men tend to think more about how they will provide with a growing family ect. ect.  ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

Quoting stefro87:

 ..... maybe hes feelin a lil stressed bout work and the baby coming soon and your pregnant so its getting to u more than it usually would ..... thats how i felt with my first ..... hope this helps a lil


 There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein andee.jpg picture by us5dots   Join us in the Pregnancy Group,Housefullofkidz, Pregnancy Group Mod 

mrsnoack
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:18 AM

Were in the same boat girlie...wish I could help, i'm going in my seventh month and my hubby is a tiny little thing, add that to my belly in the way there you have it no sex I HATE IT!!! My opinion is they don't want to hurt our feelings but they don't know how to handle us and they are afraid of saying something or doing something wrong. This is our second and it's the same problem.

Schleetle
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:37 AM

I am in my third trimester, and not having sex much (if at all) anymore either... Its just so uncomfortable. I wouldn't think the worst maybe hes stressed, or nervous... Also please don't take offense to this, but a big baby belly is a mood killer. I don't feel sexy with this bowling ball belly. My DH still says nice things to me about my looks, but I know the baby belly does get in the way of enjoying intimacy. I really think its normal for sex life to suffer somewhat at this point so don't get down on yourself.

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flyfree55
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:52 AM

thats not always true some guys love it and will make you feel sexy. but you need to sit him down and really explain that you need and crave his attention and its really upsetting you and you feel that he may not care as much as he use too. be harsh it works he needs to know

Quoting Schleetle:

I am in my third trimester, and not having sex much (if at all) anymore either... Its just so uncomfortable. I wouldn't think the worst maybe hes stressed, or nervous... Also please don't take offense to this, but a big baby belly is a mood killer. I don't feel sexy with this bowling ball belly. My DH still says nice things to me about my looks, but I know the baby belly does get in the way of enjoying intimacy. I really think its normal for sex life to suffer somewhat at this point so don't get down on yourself.


NaTashaVictoria
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:05 PM

Well hubby and I haven't had sex in months so, you girls are doing better than me. Our situation is mutual, though. This kid is constantly moving around and I just feel super weird having sex if I can feel my baby moving. Hubby feels the same way. Besides, he's always working crazy hours that switch from week to week, so I don't blame him for being too tired. Plus, he's never been a super touchy-feely kind of guy, so it's no big surprise if he doesn't hug and kiss on me all the time. I relish in the moments when he's feeling affectionate.

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